Dear Jack

Chapter Eight

Laying in my bed for the first time after my seven day stay in the psych ward sure felt different, but in a good way. My mum had made my bed, giving me fresh sheets and tidying my room. She set out some new clothes for me and left a small framed photo of Tom on my dresser. She knew how he protected me. She placed his picture there to continue to protect me. My mum opened the window to let in fresh air after she'd shampooed the carpets. Unfortunately I'd left a large blood stain. I hate how much worry and stress I'm putting my mother through now. I just know she's going to be walking on egg shells around me from now on.

"Alex honey, I made you a coffee before work. I know it won't be as good as you make them though" my mum smiles at me as I sit at the breakfast bar.

"Anything made by you is always great mum" I said as I kissed her, thanking her for the coffee.

Mum joins me at the breakfast bar, clenching her own cup of coffee. "Alex honey, are you sure you're ready to go back to work so soon? I'm worried it's too soon". She places a hand lightly on my shoulder. I knew she was more worried about letting me out of her sight.

"I'll be okay mum. I think it'll be good for me, returning to normal life. Besides, I've got Abbie at work to look after me and Mel is going to start training me in being an assistant manager" I smile at her. Sure, I was nervous about going back, especially that I still have both my forearms wrapped in thick bandages, but I really do just want to return back to normal life. A small fear of seeing Rian and Zack still lingered in the back of my mind, but I wasn't going to tell her.

I give my mother a kiss goodbye and throw my bag over my shoulders, careful to not hit my forearms or thighs. They're still super tender. I'll have the stitches out in a few days.

I begin my walk to work. I breathed in a breath of fresh air and smelt the flowers in Mrs Millers yard. Her roses were in full bloom. It actually made me happy to look at them. My staring happily at roses was swiftly interrupted by a lady screaming "oh my god!". I looked up to see where the scream came from and saw an army veteran standing in the front door of a house a few doors up with a lady wrapped around his shoulders, crying 'oh my god I can't believe you're here'. I watched as the rest of the family emerged from the house in tears, greeting the veteran with open arms and waterfalls of tears. I guess he just returned without them knowing.

I crossed the road and watched from afar as they all hugged each other, never wanting to let go. I imagined this is how my grandmother had felt when my grandad returned from duty. He would often come home with flowers and hand deliver his next letter to her to surprise her more.

I watched a younger woman run out from the house, jumping directly into the tall man's arms. He caught her and spun her around excitedly before placing her down gently and laying a hand upon her small pregnant bump. Aw, he must be expecting a child. I'm glad he got to come home.

I eventually broke free of the trance that family had drawn me into and hurried my walk to work. But the thought of that family had stuck with me. More so the feeling of being greeted with such love and excitement. I don't think I've ever been greeted with such enthusiasm, but I've never been anywhere or done anything remotely deserving of such a return, or really have anyone else besides my mother who would be glad to see me.

I imagined how the conversations would continue once they all went back inside the house. I imagine everyone would be taking his bags from him and sitting him down in the most comfortable chair in the house. I imagine that he'd be shown his babies latest ultrasound and learn what gender it is. I imagine this guy would have a girl. Someone who he could protect and love unconditionally. That he would raise her to be strong and confident and she would go on to be just as brave and smart as he is.