✧ | HEALING TRAUMA

02 .25. 23 Yubin

02. 25. 23
3:28 am

"Binnie I told you a thousand times. I love everything about you."

He sighed holding the woman's hand and placing a kiss on them. " I know Juyoung but I'm so scared that I'm not going to be enough for him." Juyoung cupped the other's face in her hands. " Honey~ I know you'll do great. You always do."

Yubin jolts awake dripping of sweat and all he feels are tears falling more and more every time he dwells on the thought of her. He sat up turning on his reading light trying to calm down. After a few minutes, he decided to go into the kitchen to find something to drink. As he was taking out the orange juice, he felt someone watching him. He hold his breath and turned around to see Su rubbing his eyes.

"Is everything okay Yu?" Su yawned walking over to him placing a glass next to his. As he started to pour the orange juice, his tears began to pour out as his hands began to shake. The other rushes over to him putting the jug down and sitting Yubin on the couch. "Hey hey. It's okay, breathe with me Bin." He was ignoring everything his hyung was telling him and embraced him tighter as he cried. Su was a bit hesitant at first but seen that what the youngers thoughts was putting him through. He decided to stay with him rubbing his back until they both drifted off to sleep.

8:35 am

"Did they really fall asleep here?" Seo said walking up to the pair and shaking them.

"Remember what my dad told you guys. He can sleep literally anywhere at anytime." Sunjin tried to hold in his laughter but ultimately fails causing the two to spring up. After a few minutes they both tried to go back to sleep.

"Earth to Sad Twins we have a schedule to do!" Seo semi yelled while popping next to them. Yubin rubbing his eye turning away from the others.

"Ughhh. I don't want to..." Yubin turns over facing his son, he squints a bit to focus his vision and sees Sunjin. "Honeybun when did you get here?"

"I just got in. You know what today is right?" Sunjin chuckled and rubs the top of Yubin's head. It takes Yubin a few mins but his eyes lights up and he smiles tenderly.

"Is it your birthday hunbun?!" He yelled and hugged the younger. Sunjin smiles softly, "yea dad it is." He hugs his dad back sighing looking away from everyone else. Yunbin lets go of him and the two sits back down. Sunjin's leg bounces as he looks over at Su."WAIT It is your birthday!?" Su looks at the three other males with wide eyes. Sunjin nods with a gentle laugh."Heh. Time flies by fast as hell." Seo rubs his eyes before looking at his watch.

"Wait so you're seventeen!" Su said looking at Sunjin "Yep. It doesn't seem like it does it?" Su and Seo shakes their heads, "Like it feels like we met you like two months ago but it's been like nine years since we actually met you." Yubin goes over to Seo and puts his hand on the older shoulder, "Geez you're making us seem older than what we actually are. But Imma go get ready for the schedule. Don't have too much fun without me." He laughed as he was walking towards the bathroom leaving the other three to themselves. After a few minutes, Seo goes back into his room and Su finishes getting ready but Sunjin stops him in his tracks. "Um.. Uncle. Just wondering, why was my dad sleeping out here?" Su hesitated a bit bitting his upper lip pretty hard. "Uh I don't kn-" The younger grabs Su's arm and pulls him into the guest bedroom, "It's okay to tell me. I know I have my mom's anger but it's gotten better over the years." He laughs nervously watching Su's body tensing up more and more.

"It's... It was about your mom." Su uttered with his eyes darting away from meeting contact with the other. "What? Uh... What about her..." The other asked his voice shaking a bit. "No. I shouldn't ruin your day. Jinjin." Su apologized before he goes out the door but Sunjin blocked the door. "Uncle Insu. Please tell me." Sunjin begged his heart felt like it was going to go out on him if he didn't find out. But right before Su was going to say something. "Su! We're late get your ass out here!" Soshi yelled out, the younger opens the door and watched as Su walked away feeling more empty than before.

4:30 pm

As the rest of the guys and Sunjin heads to their schedules the weather turned from cloudy skies to a thick haze. Sunjin looks out the window, "Man... I was going to go out with my friends but this weather is being weird." He sinks down into his chair sulking. Yubin kisses the top of his son head, "don't worry about it bud. There's always tomorrow or even the weekend to hangout with them." He said but gets closer to Sunjin.

"Plus, me and your uncles have a surprise for you." Yubin whispered and grinned at his son the sparkles in his eyes reminds him of Sunjin's mom. Yubin tries his hardest to make him happy for both of them. Even though Sunjin doesn't ask Yubin about his mom, he wonders if Sunjin misses her as much as he does. "Dad are you okay?" Sunjin asked causing Yubin to blink a few times. "Yeah. Sorry about that, just thinking." Sunjin raised an eyebrow, "it's nothing to worry your little head about. Plus we're here."

"Should we tell him what happened?" Su asked Yubin as he's wiping off sweat from his forehead breathing heavily. Yubin looks up at Su and shakes his head, "He doesn't need to know." - "What is it dad?" Sunjin comes up to both of them picking at his hands. Yubin sighs and puts his hand on Sunjin, "let me take a smoke real quick and I'll tell you everything." Yubin gets up and walks outside into the thick haze leaving Su and Sunjin by themselves.

Su sighs, " I meant to give you this earlier." He takes out a small box out of his pocket and opens it revealing a silver chain with small symbol that looks like a 9. Su hands it to him and Sunjin smiles, "Oh sweet! I've been needing a new necklace. Just wondering what does the 9 means?" Su smiles softly, "It's a lucky number for my family so I wanted to pass it onto you." Su said hugging the younger "happy birthday Sunjin. I can't wait to see you grow up just like your dad." Sunjin freezes for a moment before sinking into the hug. "Thank you uncle Insu."

After the hours of schedules the group was able to go home and celebrate both the success of the schedules and Sunjin's birthday with some cake and a few gifts from everyone. Youngsoo bought a Xbox One with a few games that would be perfect for him, Hyunwoo bought a new microphone so he could start streaming with better audio, Soshi bought a few of Sunjin's favorite cologne, Seo bought a few skincare products from Japan and Yubin bought a new MacBook Pro with a letter that he doesn't want him to open until he's alone.

As the party dies down, Yubin goes up to Sunjin and hugs him from behind. "Did you have a good time hunbun?" Sunjin chuckles and nods, "Honestly didn't think you guys were going to go all out." Yubin let go of him and ruffles the younger's hair, "Well... You are the sunshine in my life so hell yeah I'm going to go all out." Sunjin looks at his dad but his eyes are saying something else. "Dad what were you going to tell me earlier?" Yubin smile drops and he sighs, "let's go to my room and I'll explain everything."

"Wait... So you're telling me that me and mom have the same birthday?" Yubin bites his lip. "Yeah. I never told you become it hurts a lot just thinking about it." Sunjin rubs his legs and puts his hand on his dad's, "You never told me how she died." Yubin eyes start filling with tears, "S..So we was doing a concert and during the intermission I.. got the call and basically rushed to the hospital. She... she was pretty injured. I thought that she was going to make it but... she passed away a few weeks later." Yubin finished explaining everything there was a moment of silence until Sunjin hugs him tightly, Yubin hugs back tighter sobbing hard into his son's shoulder. "It's okay dad let it all out." Sunjin said rubbing his dad's back sniffing, they stay like this for a while until Sunjin lets go of him and wipes away the tears off of Yubin's face.

"She would be so proud of you. Just like how I am with you. Could we visit her grave one day?"

Kai's Notes:
L o r d a girly is cryin. I'm always making sad shit but it be so good though! 💥💥💥 but anyway I hope you enjoyed this, hopefully Seo's and Su's journals be happier. Anyway laters! 💗