Less Talk - A Hangman Story

Part I

"Do you ever not have an opinion?" Jake watches you irritably before taking a long swig of his drink. He needs the alcohol to calm his nerves so that he doesn't inadvertently push you off your chair.

You glare at him. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? A nice, safe space for Seresin to dominate the conversation without opposition."

Jake lets out a steady breath. No one riles him quite like you do. "We're talking about food, Y/N. It doesn't exactly have global ramifications."

"Actually, it does," you respond matter-of-factly. "And are you saying I shouldn't have an opinion unless it is ground-breaking in nature? Maybe I should just sit here quietly and look pretty."

"Ha!" Jake cackles. "I would love to see you try."

"Hangman!" Bradley, who's sitting to your right, gives him a disapproving look.

You make a grimace. "I will never give you that kind of satisfaction."

Jake meets your gaze with a hostile look. The thought of you satisfying him in any way sort of disorients him. He makes a face at you because he can't deny that if you were to just sit there in silence, you would be exceptionally pleasant to look at. Pretty, even... maybe. Instead, he says, "How the fuck does eating avocado toast for lunch have global implications? I would love to know."

"The recent surge in consumption of avocados - thanks to health nuts such as yourself - has led to an unprecedented increase in price to the point where those people whose culinary staple for generations has been the avocado cannot afford to keep it their diet." You fold your arms over your chest to drive your point home while Jake just stares at you, speechless. No other woman in the world has ever rendered him that. He glances over at Bradley who is looking back at him with a slight grin. Just when Jake thinks you might be all talked out, you add, "And don't even get me started on the environmental burden of growing enough avocados to sustain the whole of North America's health culture."

Jake blinks at you. "Trust me, I wasn't planning on it."

"The avocado trade is contributing to local violence and extortion" – you continue, but Jake cuts you off.

"Okay, okay!" he says. "I'll never eat an avocado again."

"Just quit spreading your avocado propaganda!"

"It's not propaganda! They're actually good for you!"

"How wonderful it must be living in a world where your needs come before everybody else's," you say bitterly.

"Can we please talk about something other than avocados?" he says tiredly, his eyes sliding to Bradley in a plea for assistance.

"If you're looking for a topic on which I do not have an opinion" – you say, but Jake interrupts you again.

"Does such a topic exist?" he asks flatly.

You roll your eyes at him. "Did you ever think that maybe you're the one who should talk less?"

Jake nods. "Certainly. I should talk less to you. Because you're driving me crazy, lady." He stands up after having downed the rest of his drink. "I'm getting another beer and, when I return, I'm going to have a conversation with my good friend here, Rooster."

Bradley shakes his head and looks over at you. "Don't mind him, he's just a bitter, bitter man."

"A bitter man who needs to be schooled on occasion," you mutter.

Jake turns to look at you with wide eyes. He slides back into his seat. "I heard that," he says dangerously, inclining into the table.

"Good," you respond, leaning forward so that your noses are nearly touching. "You were meant to."