**Winner 2024 Amby Awards**
Fiza has everything planned-medical school, a respectable future, and an engagement she never wanted. Determined to escape a loveless match, she creates a checklist to find the perfect husband her father will approve of.
...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I woke slowly, aware of her before I was aware of anything else.
Fiza was still asleep beside me.
For a few seconds, I just watched her sleep. There was a small smile on her lips.
The thought of last night made something warm fill my chest, immediately followed by something far less pleasant. Fear.
I still didn't know what last night meant to her.
Maybe she would wake up and regret it. Maybe daylight would bring back all the reasons she had spent so long keeping me at a distance. Maybe she would look at me and decide we had made a mistake.
I slipped out of bed before she woke and went to the bathroom.
By the time I heard her moving behind me, I was standing at the sink, shaving cream covering half my face.
I looked up at the mirror.
She was watching me from the doorway and smiling.
I smiled back, but I knew it wasn't convincing enough.
Her smile faded. She walked over and stopped beside me, reaching up to touch my chin, her fingers brushing through the shaving foam.
"What's wrong, Alan?"
I looked at her in the mirror for a second before turning to face her.
"I'm scared."
Her eyebrows lifted. Clearly, that wasn't the answer she had expected.
I swallowed.
"I'm scared you're going to wake up today and decide last night was a mistake." My voice came out quieter than I intended. "That it didn't mean what I thought it meant."
Her hand was still resting against my face.
I covered it with mine.
"I heard you crying last night, Fiza, and I was terrified that I was going to lose you. I'm sorry..: I need some time... to process all of this..."
I saw hurt in her eyes. I had put it there. Her eyes filled with tears immediately.
"Fiza... I just mean..."
She smiled through her tears and shook her head. "It's okay. I... I pushed for it last night and you..." she wiped her tears, "you said no and I didn't listen."
With that, she left the bathroom.
We walked in silence to the breakfast buffet. With her wiping her eyes from time to time.
I didn't know what to say. I had told her I loved her. I had told her she was everything to me. I just needed a little space to process what needed to be done. I couldn't just go with the flow and hurt her. I couldn't never hurt my Fiza.
