Vanessa's POV
I was standing in my room, in front of the mirror. I looked worse than before. My hair wasn't shiny anymore and i had eye bags. My clothes looked too big and my arms were skinnier than usual. I took a deep breath and i turned around to my shelf with meds. I took three pills and i walked up to the closet. I put on some baggy clothes to hide my skinny body. I didn't want Bojan to see my dramatic changes. He doesn't know anything. Yet. I'm too scared to tell him. But i know i will have to. I went to my car and drove to Bojan's place. I walked inside and he was already waiting for me.
- Hi draga - He wanted to hug me but since i was scared of him touching my thin body i moved away. I could tell that he was shocked and sad but i just know he will understand one day if i tell him.
- Hi Bojan - I sit on a couch waiting for him.
- What's wrong? Please tell me. I'm not blind i see that you're different. You're not my sweet touchy Vanessa anymore... - I saw the pain in his eyes. I felt like someone stabbed me in my stomach. I didn't want him to feel like that because of me. We promised to each other to always make us happy. I failed. I failed because i'm fucking scared to tell him the truth.
- Nothing is wrong. Stop pushing please everything's alright like always. - I tried to smile but it looked like a face of a liar.
- You're lying. I see it in your eyes. You're not telling me the fucking truth! You don't love me anymore? Just tell me! Tell me what is happening, i'm loosing control i hate that! Vanessa just talk to me fuck please! - I saw tears in his beautiful brown eyes. I love his eyes they're the most beautiful chocolate eyes. But now with this much pain in i can't look at them. I turned my head away from him trying to hold my tears.
- I told you everything is alright. You're delusional now.
- I am delusional? I just love you and i want to know what is wrong! You're not the same person. Please Nessa. I'm trying to help you. - I was scared that i will tell him too much. I'm weak and i know that. I just stood up and looked at him.
- If this is the only one thing you're gonna talk about at our every meeting i'm gonna leave. - I walked up to the door. I know. I know i was weak and i was hurting him more in this situation and with my behaviour but i had to. I didn't know what to do.
- I want to help you. I want my old Vanessa back. I want my love. - I looked at him. I saw the pain. I walked out of his house because i knew i was going to cry. He can't know. Not now. For him and our love. The right time will come.
