Once upon a time you'd tried to hide your tears from Joel, but recently you hadn't bothered. He thought you no weaker, and you hoped to encourage him to show his feelings by doing so. But now, you couldn't hide them if you wanted to.
Tess was gone.
You and her had never been particularly close; you realised some five years into knowing her that she was fighting a loosing battle for Joel's affection, and seemed to resent you a little for it. She never said anything of course, but it showed in the way she looked away when the two of you seemed to act a little closer than friends.
But despite that, the two of you never fought, and she was a constant comfort that had suddenly been taken away.
Ellie had removed herself from you and Joel. The three of you had marched for several hours in silence away from the town hall, to put distance between both the remaining few cordyceps and the pain of losing Tess. Once you were in relative safety, Joel had simply said break and you'd stopped on the spot. Ellie found a rock far enough away that she didn't have to talk to you, but close enough that you could keep an eye on her.
"y/n," Joel said quietly, and you glanced at him. With the groan of a man twice his age, he sat next to you, fingers reaching for yours.
"We should get going soon," you said. "Bill and Franks is a while away."
Joel nodded, and you rested your head against his shoulder, sighing deeply. Your eyes hurt from the tears, and you nuzzled your face into the fabric of his shoulder to dry them. Joel let you without hesitation.
"You want your jacket back?" Ellie asked, walking over. She held it out to you - you'd given it to her when the walk had turned brisk. You took it without a word; you knew it wasn't her fault but you were struggling not to blame her for Tess's death. You wouldn't have been there if it weren't for her. But no, that was unfair.
"I've never been in the woods," she then remarked, looking around. "More bugs than I thought." When neither of you replied, she threw her hands up in exasperation. "Look, I've been thinking about--"
"--I don't want your sorrys," Joel interrupted, and Ellie had the audacity to scoff.
"I wasn't gonna say I'm sorry. I was gonna say that I've been thinking about what happened," she said. "Nobody made you guys or Tess take me. Nobody made you go along with this plan. You needed a truck battery or whatever, and you made a choice. So don't blame me for something that isn't my fault."
You stared at her, unsure at how you'd react. You wanted to yell and scream, but instead you stood, nodded, and turned to Joel. "Let's go."
***
"How much longer?" Ellie whined, and you chuckled lightly. You and Tess would always wind Joel up with how much longer? or are we there yet? quips whilst out, and she reminded you of not only Tess, but of yourself.
"Five-hour hike," you told her. "We can manage that."
"You've gone this way a lot? No Infected?" Ellie asked. She asked a lot of questions.
"Not often, no," you said. Joel was glancing around cautiously as you walked, hand on his gun, and Ellie skipped beside him.
"What are you looking out for?"
"People."
"Oh. Are Bill and Frank nice?"
"Frank is."
"They both are," you said. "Bill and Joel are just equally untrusting." Joel glanced towards you with a grunt, but that was as far as his disagreement went.
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The Imagination Latibule: The Last of Us - Don't Dream it's Over
FanfictionFem Reader [y/n] x Joel Miller The apocalypse brought out the worst in people; that was something you learnt early on. But the one person you knew you could rely on was Joel, and when asked to smuggle a girl across the country, you knew that he cou...