Random DofuWani Shits and Giggles (Doflamingo x Crocodile)

《Before you go》

...

"The ship is ready for departure, boss." Crocodile heard Daz say as he finally got close enough. Crocodile let out a sigh of relief, finally he could go back to Alabasta.. he yearned for it. Dressrosa was alright, atleast it wasn't cold.

"Croc-A-Doodle-Doo~ leaving so soon?!"

Crocodile stopped for a second contemplating his life decisions and kept walking, he could tell by the surprised faces of the people infront of him that their king was standing behind him. That bastard, how could he of all people become a king before him. Of course Crocodile wasn't going to leave Dressrosa quietly, not if Donquixote Doflamingo had anything to say about it.

"Hey, hey... did you not hear me?" Doflamingo was right beside Crocodile now a wicked smile on his face. "Are you gonna leave me so soon..?" He pretend whined. "Not even a goodbye?"

"If your gonna act like that then I'll never come back." Crocodile growled really wanting to wrap his hook around the taller man's neck.
Doflamingo leaned towering over Crocodile, his long boney finger tapping his golden hook. "Are you gonna stab me? You wanna cause a scene?" Crocodile always hated how much taller Doflamingo was compared to him, an equally very tall man. It wasn't like he was monstrously tall, he was more freakishly tall, it was hard to explain it but the thought sent shivers down Crocodile's spine.

"You know I'm this island's king and their savior right? It wouldn't look good for you to attack their king." Doflamingo leaned closer and Crocodile could feel this breath on his cheek. Crocodile's nerves got the best of him and he flinched a little. Doflamingo always put him on edge, he was unpredictable.

Crocodile turned to sand and reappeared a couple of feet away from his original place. Crocodile finally was on the dock to the ship where Daz was waiting for him.

"Fufufufufu..." Doflamingo laughed. "Come on Croco-man, don't you wanna stay a little bit longer?" He took awkward steps toward him. "We have plenty of more things we can do..."
Crocodile turned around. "Trust me, I've had plenty." He turned around getting closer to the ship.

"Don't leave Croccie-Poo!" Doflamingo cried sounding desperate. "I can show you the gun I used to kill my father and brother with-"

Crocodile stopped in his tracks. He turned slowly a disgusted look on his face. "What.... that settles it, I'm not coming back."
Doflamingo smirked "I know that's a lie. You like me, Croco-Bastard!"

"Me, liking you? In your dreams you overgrown pink feather duster."

"Fufu! I know you do, you glorified pair of boots." Doflamingo laughed as he hunched over Crocodile.

"Your posture is horrible." Crocodile smiled. "You know if you keep standing like that it'll lock into place and you'll be a hunchback forever."

Doflamingo stopped smiling his mouth slowly forming into a upside down smile. At that point a crowd had formed around them, their interest peaked as their boring normal lives were disrupted.

Doflamingo placed his hands in his pants pockets a frown still on his face. Crocodile had hit a nerve and he wanted to test the waters.

"Kuhahaha. What's wrong Doffy?"

Doflamingo started smiling again as he got too close to Crocodile's face.

"Are you trying to piss me off?" Doflamingo whispered in his ear.

"Your hair makes you look like a troll doll, you should cut it." Crocodile whispered back.
Doflamingo frowned again this time his mouth was closed. His lip was almost sticking out in a pout as he brought his hand up to touch his spiked hair.
Crocodile felt pleasure at seeing Doflamingo so mad. To see the pink bird stop his stupid blabbering and his curved smile.

They were both standing at the middle of the dock when Crocodile continued to torment Doflamingo. The raven haired man spat every insult he could think of at the time to the island and the bird man himself.  Crocodile slipped a insult about Doflamingo's family and how weird they were and who could blame Crocodile for thinking that because they were weird.

Doflamingo clenched his teeth so hard they almost looked like they would break. His large hands curled into fists, making him look like he wanted to punch Crocodile in the face. "Throw insults to me all you want, but don't insult my family..." He growled his forehead pulsing with veins you could almost hear the blood rushing around in them.

Crocodile stepped back a little shocked, He'd never seen Doflamingo this angry in person. It was a first time seeing this emotion coming from Doflamingo other than him being an asshole. He would be lying if he said he didn't like it.

His thoughts were interrupted when Doflamingo grabbed him by his ascot.

Crocodile just smiled leaning towards Doflamingo's face. "You know you're awfully cute when your angry." He softly placed his lips on Doflamingo's cheek.

The blonde's jaw dropped as he let go of Crocodile. Doflamingo's face turned a deep shade of red as he almost lost his balance. Crocodile looked at the edge of the dock and smiled maliciously.

He stretched his leg out and pushed the taller man into his leg causing him to trip.

Splash,

The sound of water was like music to his ears

Crocodile laughed as Doflamingo fell into the water, slowly sinking.

The people of Dressrosa gasped and jeered at Crocodile while a muscular man went jumping into the water to save their precious king.

Crocodile finally climbed the ramp to his ship meeting Daz on the way up. He looked back to see a group of people on the beach surrounding a soaked Doflamingo who looked a lot smaller with his feathered coat sopping wet. Crocodile laughed as he hoped the bastard's pink coat had the permanent smell of fish.

The raven haired man took out one of his cigars and lit it with his expensive gold lighter. He looked over and nodded to Daz.

"Come on Daz, let's get the hell out of here."

...

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