Unwelcome

04

I stare down at the brown slime in front of me,

        "To be completely honest this looks like a pile of horseshit"

I say pointing to the sludge,

Saja glares at me while she wrestles with the spatula,

        "I swear to god I will throw you out the window if you make one more comment about this batter"

        And yes, I have been spending the entire day pissing off Saja and then making her make brownies for me. Which I am also currently annoying her about.

         She folds in the pretentious amount of chocolate chips that I had dumped there and slowly pours the batter into the baking dish.

Out of nowhere Danny's finger nosedives into the batter and scoops up a gloop before Saja can sonic-slap it away.

          "OI!" She snaps and aggressively bats him away from the dish with her huge mittens

"Didn't - I - tell - you" she says emphasizing each word with a wack "not - to- touch- the motherfucking - BATTER?!"

          "Oww— Yes" yelps Danny, cringeing away from the smacks.

But with a body built like his I doubt he even felt a thing.

        I grin slowly as I wrap my mouth around my own chocolate covered finger. Saja turns to me before I can dip a different finger in the batter,

        "OUT, you- both of you OUT" she snaps all while shoving us both out of the kitchen.

I snicker and glance at Danny who is grinning like an idiot.

        I walk down to the living room sitting my ass down on a couch until I see the reason Danny was smiling like that. Somehow the idiot managed to snag the chocolate covered spatula off of the counter and was now licking it like a child.

        I roll my eyes and sigh.

It's so hard to believe that these two crackheads are responsible for robbing some of the most infamous mafia bosses in the country. And also they're supposed to be fully trained assassins.

       Last night Saja and Danny crashed here which led to a five hour movie marathon and a two hour fight over if Ryan Gosling was gay and had a crush on Danny Devito. Which is part of the reason we woke up at three in the afternoon and are making brownies at six.

     I stare down at my phone flicking through it pointlessly until I find a video that lowkey grabs my attention.

        Its some dude flirting with his phone and sends me into the clouds because of its cringe.

I immediately send it to our group chat with a tag that says, this is Danny when he tries to flirt with girls

        In return I get a foot shoved into my lap.

"DANNY, get your crusty foot off of me!" I tell him in warning,

          He just smiles and shoves it closer to my face,

"Ewwww, I'm gonna die from getting infected with deathly fungus from your toes" I whine trying to shove the damn thing off.

         Danny gasps and puts a hand to his chest looking genuinely offended,

"My feet are majestically clean and holey thank you very much!" He snaps and inches them closer to my face, "See?"

        I lean back trying to get away from his feet (which honestly look clean) and say,"Don't you get those closer to me Daniel James Musgrave or else"