After A Gig

Part III

The height of the stage is about the same as mine. Matt points at the stairs on the side of the stage and says that I can use them. With ease I jump over the barrier. It feels cold against my bare legs, I'm wearing denim shorts. Again, like in a slowed-down movie I get closer to the stairs, closer to Matthew. I glance quickly at him and I'm sure I saw his deep blue eyes from this distance. I am trying to convince myself that I'm not going to faint. From the ground, looking at Matt, he looks tall. I'm sure that it's just my crush towards him that is making me feel like that. I eagerly want to get to him as soon as possible but at the same time I hesitate in my mind, feeling a little scared, feeling like my life is going to change. Walking up the stairs seems to take forever. But finally, there I stand. In front of him. Actually, he is almost the same height as me, just a little taller. Matt shakes hands with me.
"I'm Matt."
"Felicity."
"Nice to meet you."

He smiles kindly. Now that I see them properly, his eyes are the deepest blue one can imagine. Lighter coloured blue, little mountain ranges travel from the outer circle of the iris towards the pupil. His hand feels so warm. I'm starting to get a little cold since the Sun already set and my clothes are thin because of summer.
"Wow, I'm on the stage!" I enthusiast adjusting my hair. I know, I probably sound like an airhead blonde firing my self-explanatory. But I don't know what else to say. I'm just trying to fill all the gaps. But Matt doesn't look bothered at all, which I'm surprised of. Having seen so damn many interviews I thought he would now be a little awkward. But he seems relaxed and maybe a bit amused because of my comment.
"Yes, you are on the stage" he bursts into slight laughter. My inhibitions start to fade a bit when I see that Matt truly is relaxed.
"Can we shake hands again?" I ask.
"O-of course" he laughs. "But why?"
"Your hand was so warm and I'm feeling a little chilly right now."
"Oh, definitely, yes we can! I can get you some jacket from backstage also, if you want."
Matt takes my hand and squeezes it even more firmly.
"No, I'm fine like this." I say after a short while, smirking playfully.
"You like to have your hand held, right?"
"By you, hell yeah!"
"Oh, by me? What is it with me? I'm a 36-year-old, short guy with a ladies' voice" he chuckles.
"My parents think I like older men."
"You are almost taller than me" Matt says, which to me seemed like he wanted to escape from my comment. My stomach turns.
"You are... compact."
Matt bursts into high-pitched laughter.
"I guess you could say that."
The whole time we shook hands.

In a way our conversation feels so right, so easy, fluent. Even though I am a mess inside, I can "keep my cool" which many can't do. In my mind I thank my mother for passing me her wit. A sudden feeling of being an adult sweeps over me. I am in such an exciting situation that I can almost feel my socks spinning in my feet. This night can end in million different ways, which adds the excitement. I feel so light, like I could float. After that a wave of lust hits me by surprise as I study his face; his eyes, lips, his funny, crooked nose. It feels almost unnatural how fast I develope feelings like these in a real-life-situation. I feel like a sexual beam.

He directs me to sit down on the platform for the drums. He sits down quite close to me, on my left side. Our arms almost touch.
"Do you like older men then?" he grins. I thought he actually wanted to avoid the subject?!
"Well it really depends on the guy. I find these old, rich and greedy Wall Street moguls with suits extremely attractive" I smirk burying my face in my hands and snort.
"If I was a woman I'd definitely have that same condition" he chuckles enthusiastically.
"You call it 'a condition'?" I snort again, still peeking from between my fingers.
"In parents' eyes that's exactly what it is."
"Are you into teenagers then?" I blurt without thinking about how fucking suggesting I sound. Fuck, Felicity.
"The age doesn't matter that much. It's the person that does" Matt says thoughtfully. My boiling insides calm down a little and a new wave of being brave takes me. It feels amazing. Our conversation is so easy. So easy it hurts but still it all feels so complicated. I'm definitely talking to a complicated person which makes it all even better. He thinks like me but then again he is mystery to me.
"Now you're talking!... We are getting straight to the core. So you're not a small talker?" I inquire laughing. What the fuck am I actually doing?! He is basically a complete stranger.
"Yeah, definitely not. But I do have to do that too. Occasionally the chemistry between me and the other person just is there. That 'Wall Street mogul' thing was a wonderful ice breaker" he laughs watching straight into my green eyes with his eyebrows lifted. I don't know whether he referred straight to us but to me this feels like good chemistry.
"Yeah you should try it, works every time!" I lift my other eyebrow while flashing my most innocent smile making the whole expression very contradictionary.

The night has set, it's all dim and quiet. The night sky is all clear, decorated with hundreds of stars. The atmosphere is magical and spiced up with a tingle of excitement and adventure. We've already talked about everything with Matthew; where I am from, family stuff, interests - there's no sign of the conversation to end. I show Matt some constellations that I know. I am really interested in space.
"That's the Orion. Can you see? It's like a man with a bow. And those three stars that create like a belt for him is called Orion's Belt" I explain. "When I was a kid, I didn't realise the constellations were so big! I used to squint and try to find them, thinking they were small."
"You really are a star geek, Felicity" Matt says serenely looking at the sky. How cute it sounded hearing him say my name. I glance at his side profile. The lights reflect from his eyes. It's like the stars are in his eyes. On the inside I've turned into this mellow mush which on the outside it is only my smile that is showing it. I seem alert, and the moment feels like something's about to happen. I am like an alert marshmallow, if you like. He notices my stare and he looks at me. Again I remember where I am and with who. This is what I have been dreaming of.
"You must be feeling cold" he says. His face is serious but relaxed. I nod slightly.
Matt takes my hands in his. His hands are beautiful. They feel safe. They are warm. Then he wraps his arm around my back and places his palm on my right arm. His right side is warming my whole left side. I'm wrapped in comfort.

"Why do you want to hang out with me like this?" I ask. The situation is far from normal. I am a fan among all the other fans. I've never heard that he has done anything like this before.
"I've seen you before, on many, many gigs, in the front row. I appreciate it really. It's like there is something. A feeling."
"I like you more than I can explain. I adore you." It just slips from my mouth. I can't handle those eyes. All his expressions make me want to fall in love with him. For a moment I'm afraid that I was moving too fast, that I would scare him away. A cold breeze reaches me and I shiver. Matt tightens his grip - a sign that my fears were needless.

I hesitate whether I could lean onto him but the desire of doing that, wins. I don't just lean on him but I nuzzle into his neck. His scent is just what I imagined it to be like: his own odor with a little salty aftertaste of sweat and just a hint of musky perfume left. For years I have dreamed of a moment like this. His scent is irressistible. My heartbeat gets fast and I'm worried that he can hear it. I don't want to break our delicate moment. It feels like it could be blown away by the wind at any possible moment. I'm so afraid that I have understood it all wrong. Just a couple of seconds have passed. And then I feel a kiss on my head, just a slight kiss placed on top of my head and after that Matt rests his head on mine.
"Some strong feeling" Matt whispers.

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Hi!

I made some additions to this third part again. Working on part four. Hope you like it. :)

- hypermonday