𝔼ℂℍ𝕆 ℝ𝔼𝕍𝕀𝔼𝕎 𝕊ℍ𝕆ℙ

[DANIELLE] The Prep's Diary

Reviewer: Dark_Ghostie

Author: 

Title: 4/5

The title is kind of interesting and definitely captured my attention. However, I've got one question–what exactly is a prep? If you could perhaps give a brief explanation somewhere, readers would have a better idea of what the story is about.

Cover: 1/5

To be very honest, the cover is kind of plain although it's supposed to represent a diary if I'm not wrong. I would suggest maybe adding the title onto the cover, but if you like it, then go ahead. This is only my opinion.

Plot development: 9/10

I like how your story is written in a diary format. It's interesting and is one of the few stories I've seen written in a full diary format. You managed to describe what happened and how Rosetta felt perfectly. I thought I was reading a real diary of a school girl.

Furthermore, most of the problems and the way Rosetta felt were relatable in so many ways. The story displayed the ugly side of society and unveils the many secrets that people don't know about. That is how bullying and ostracising of others can come about, like what happened to Rose even though she didn't deserve it.

I'm glad that she managed to make some real friends later on in the story. One that didn't insult or abandon you, but stick up for you in times of need. It warms my heart that people like that exist in Rose's life.

However, I don't really see any connection the story has with the title. This again comes back to the question I've raised earlier. What is a prep? Do they have specific qualities? Or is it a label or sorts?

I also don't get the drama happening between Mckayla and Andrew. Andrew cheated on Rose with Mckayla then they both cheated on each other? This part was kind of complicated and I was a little confused by it. In addition, I feel like this is the sort of material Rose could've used during her fight with Mckayla.

The story ends in a cliffhanger that makes me wonder what would happen next. I'm honestly kind of disappointed when I saw that the book was marked complete and I was just left hanging, but good job for creating such an interesting plot.

Grammar: 5/10

There were a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes littered throughout the story which kind of hindered my reading experience. I also noticed that you keep mixing up jealous and jealousy. For example, in the June 9 entry, you put 'jealous' instead of 'jeslousy' in ..'I watch them laugh together while jealous consumed me'. And in the June 5 entry, you put jealousy instead of 'jealous' in 'I hate Jealousy, it's the worst feeling on earth.' do note that 'jealousy should not be capitalised and this sentence can be split into two separate sentences as they aren't really related.

In the June 6 entry, the word 'under neath' should be spelled as one word and 'unlike romantic comedies...' the word 'unlike' should be capitalised.

Do also take note that pronouns used after a dialogue are not supposed to be capitalised and that normal dialogues with dialogue tags after should be punctuated with a comma. For example, the June 12 entry '"Just watching a movie all by myself." I sighed.' should be '"Just watching a movie by myself," I sighed.' Do note that the word 'all' is redundant here.

I have also noticed that there are also a few dialogues that are missing the closed inverted commas at the end of them. And when Rose poured the punch on Andrew and Mckayla, I'm not sure if it was intentional or not, but his name was spelt wrong. Rose called him Alfred and not Andrew.

I would strongly recommend editing your work to filter out as many mistakes as possible. There are also many platforms and services that can help you filter out mistakes you might have missed or didn't know was one.

Total: 19/30

Even though the plot was good, it definitely needs some polishing. Other than that, keep it up! I look forward to reading your future works!