Cursed to live....AGAIN

Rueann

Rueann

"Mama, it's only the festival. Everyone will be there, why can't you just trust me to go?"

"It's not you that I don't trust. It's these tourist that it brings in and the white people come over as well as stir up some trouble at times. I just want to know that you are safe. That's all. Your're my only daughter so you can't blame me for worrying about you. Especially now so close to you leaving for school in North Carolina." She explained.

Looking around, I saw my brothers sitting on the couch. One was reading and the other was throwing a ball into the air.

"Okay mama, and quickly before I regret this. What if I took Johnny and Caleb with me to this festival. They have long wanted to go and we can look out for each other. They are taller than me now, barely and strong as oxes from the sporting they do in school. Would that make you feel better?" I inquired.

She stopped, looked in at them and then back at me several times before she shook her head yes. Jumping up and down, I reached over and hugged her around her neck.

"I'ze want you all home at a resonable hour and no drinking, you hear me now?"

"Yes ma'am.." we all answered. I had not even realized they heard everything.

After we were all bathed and dressed in costumes to fit in, we left and headed to where the carnival would be at it's most exciting. There were live bands, singers, drummers, people selling food from stands, dancing and even card readings. Always having wanted to have my fortune told, I decided that I would stop at my Jeanne's table when I came across it and ask her to do it for me and not tell mama.

I was smarter than mama thought. I knew she was having an affair with Mr. Winfred. I didn't like it but she always denied it and wouldn't listen. I knew he made her happy and I had never seen that before with daddy, but still, it was wrong. I was glad that Ms. Jeanne didn't know and I was hoping that they would end it before it got back to her in this gossiping town.

Johnny, Caleb and I danced, ate and had a grand time as we made our way down Bourbon street. We weren't supposed to drink but was the festival without one drink. We each had the one with each other and promised not to have another and never to tell mama. As we continued to walk, dance and even step in the line, I noticed that Ms. Jeanne had her booth set up and was giving a fortune right then and there. Making my way over, I stood at the draped opening she had hung herself and waved and smiled, which she returned. Once she was finished with the tourist and she left, satisfied, I went in and say down.

"Now, ms. Rueann, what is that I can do for you that won't have your mama coming to find me?" she wanted to know.

"Just a reading."

"Just a reading? It's never just a reading honey. Sometimes people don't like what I show them but it's only what the cards help me to see. Are you still sure that you want a reading?" she asked me.

Undeterred, I let her know that I wanted it now more than ever.

"Then so be it."

She shuffled her cards and looked back and forth from myself to them as she did so. She then began to turn the cards over, one by one.

"Hmm..Death"

"Whose death? Mine?" I asked her, frightened of what the card showed even though it was just the first.

"Shhh" she told me, flipping over another.

"Sorrow. Pain. Rebirth. New Life." She repeated again.

Everytime I asked her to do this again, the cards were the same, no matter how much she shuffled them. I didn't know what any of it meant, but the red eyes on the card of death stayed with me the whole way home and the next morning as well. Finally, I was mystified and scared enough to end the reading.

"Are you sure, Rue? You don't want to see if the cards change? It has happened before, chile." She told me, grabbing my hand tightly. When she did so, I felt a rush through me and I thought she whispered a word, "Komanse"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Jeanne, Begin what?" I asked her." As I spoke the language too.

"Oh, nothing for you to worry your head about." She assured me as she rubbed my hands again. "Now, are you absolutely positive you'd like to stop?"

"Yes ma'am. I would." I reiterated and stood to leave her card booth. "I'll see you later, Ms. Jeanne. Tell Mr. Winfred I said hello." I responded doing as my manners dictated before leaving.

After the reading I was ready to go home, bathe and then go to bed. There was an uneasy feeling in my stomach. That next morning, I tried to sit up in bed and felt weak. I imagined that it was the exhaustion of last night and decided to sleep in a bit longer. The next time I opened my eyes, mama was sitting by my bed, a cold wet cloth on my head and the doctors standing near. Even Mr. Winfred was there.

"What's going on, mama? I just got a bit overwhelmed with the festival yesterday." I tried to explain at her obvious overreaction.

"Baby, that festival was almost three days ago. You have been asleep since then with a fever to burn down a house. I did what I could and then called for the doctor." She explained, catching me off guard.

"Two days? It couldn't have been. I remember it like it was yesterday."

"Rueann, tell us. Did you eat or drink anything you don't usually? Did you fall or get too close to anyone who looked a little off?" The doctor's asked.

"Off?"

"Yes, off. Like they were sickly or would be."

"I don't think so. I just had fun with my brothers then we came right home after Ms. Jeanne read my cards." I informed them.

The look between my mother and Mr. Winfred didn't give me any comfort. It was as if they knew something that we did not, and they weren't volunteering any of the information.

"Well, can't put a finger on what it is has her down, but it's like that sometimes. Things just come on us and we have to let em run their course." Another of the doctors said as he checked me out. "She's still got a fever but she's woke now so we're hopeful. Keep her resting and give plenty of water and soup. Call is if anything changes." They explained before grabbing their bags that looked so very much like my father's did when he was alive, and left.

"I'm going to make you some tea and grab more cloths for your head." Mama announced. "Johnny, Come keep her company and watch her while I'm gone." She told my eldest brother. I knew my other was probably on an errand for mama.

When she left, Mr. Winfred was right behind her. When they had cleared the doorway, I could have sworn I saw someone else standing there, looking back at me. She had my very face. The only difference was that her eyes looked to be the ones from the cards at the reading last night, red. I knew she could not be real because I could see through her. She kept staring and I couldn't turn away. All of a sudden, we heard my other brother coming up the steps and she disappeared as he ran right through her. I didn't know what this evil was that was going on with me, but I didn't like it at all.