Cursed to live....AGAIN

Raynelle

Thirty years later....

Raynelle

"Johnny, this tree branch needs trimming again." Mama called to daddy. It just wouldn't give me a moment's rest since we had moved back here. This family had been in our house for years starting with my grandmama, Rachel. She had recently passed away and it was her wish that we live there and our children after us. Daddy packed us up from Alabama and moved us back into that large house and now here we were, trying to settle in. I had loved the house always but it scared me at the same time. It was probably all of the room that it had. It was way more than any of us would ever need.

My daddy was the second child. He had a sister that I only knew through pictures. The story is she picked up a fever when daddy was younger and went on to be with Jesus. Daddy and his brother always talked about her and there were pictures of her everywhere. I felt bad for them. As much as my brother was a bother, I couldn't imagine living life without him. Hearing daddy's strong voice and then his footsteps coming down the hallway towards my room, I continued to put clothing away that was still boxed up. He tapped lightly on the door.

"Babygirl, you decent?" he called to me.

"Yes, daddy. Come on in." I answered.

I love that man. He liked to tell me that since the first time I opened my eyes, he was hopelessly in love with me. I was his Babygirl, his babydoll and he did all he could to protect me and make sure I was happy, and I was.

"Your mama says that tree is still giving you trouble."

"All night long, daddy. It just scratches and scratches. I could barely study for my test tomorrow.

"Well, I can't figure how it even reaches. I trimmed it back yesterday." He explained, looking baffled.

"Well, I'm sure I don't know." I responded.

"It could be the wind. If it's strong enough it could push those branches close enough to the window to scratch again. I'll trim them some more for you. We can't have you failing any test due to trees." He told me as he came over and lifted a heavy box onto the bed for me.

"Thank you daddy, you're my hero." I offered in my voice I only used with him, throwing my arms around his neck and kissing his cheek. I reached into the box, pulled out my newest diary as I loved to write and then stopped. A picture on the wall by the far window had caught my father's eye. It was another of his older sister, my aunt Rue.

"She sure was a beauty." I spoke out as I walked over and took his hand and leaned on his arm.

"Oh, she sure was at that. If you think she is pretty in these pictures, well, it was something to see her in person. It was as if she woke up with the sun surrounding her."

"I wish I could have met her."

"So do I baby, so do I. But you favor her in so many ways."

Those words from him were high praise because we knew how much she was loved by grandma, daddy and uncle. Even though she had caught a fever and died years ago, there still hung a sadness in the air here as well as in them. They tried to go on with life and succeeded in many ways. Still, it wasn't lost on us how much they missed her. Especially grandma Rachel.

Daddy once told me that she had never been the same since that day. She blamed herself and would often times lock herself in the attic and just cry while looking and speaking to pictures of her only daughter. It was almost as if she was trying to feel her presence or wait for her to answer. It nearly drove her mad.

"Really? How so?" I asked wanting to know what it was of her that he saw in me.

"Oh, you have her look about you, that's for sure. Your mind is absolutely from her. Did I tell you she was accepted into almost every negro college?"

"No, you didn't. She must have loved to learn."

"Oh, she was curious, that is for sure."

"As you say of me.." I smiled.

"And you are. She was also kind-hearted and strong-willed. Also like you."

"She sounds like someone I would have loved to know."

"Oh, you would have, there is no doubt about that there. She would have loved and spoiled you and your brother as well as your cousins for sure." He answered, blinking back tears.

"I'm sorry daddy."

"For?"

"I can tell it's hard to talk about and here I am wanting to know more. The picture must be pain enough. I can take it down if you like." I offered.

He turned to me and took me by my shoulders.

"Let me tell you something, every memory here in this house of my sister is here for a reason. It keeps her here and close. Don't ever think that you wanting to know of your kinfolk is wrong. You should know her and every other part of your past. It makes you who you are."

"Yes, daddy." I responded as he pulled me in to hug me and kissed the top of my head.

"Now, that picture stays and you finish unpacking so you can study. Make her proud." He called to me as he was now striding towards the door. "I have to go and hang these racks for your mama before she has my tail." He laughed as I joined him.

Once he was gone, I continued to stare at her, frozen there in time. It was almost as if I became lost in it because for one moment, I thought that her eyes blinked in the picture, which is crazy I know. Shaking it off, I continued to unpack and decided that I would go exploring after.