Cursed to live....AGAIN

Winfred

Winfred

Just leaving the courthouse after being sworn in as a proper lawyer, my wife, Jeanne, held on tightly to my arm, smiling with pride. I was proud too. I had been clerking down at the courthouse for years as I went to school at the nighttime. To be honest, I don't know that I truly wanted to be a lawyer, I just knew that I wanted to be worthy. Worthy of the woman that I had fallen in love with long before her husband had passed away. Yes, I wanted to be someone that Rachel could consider loving.

I had been an acquaintance of her husband, the doctor before he took his leave of this place for heaven. Or at least we like to think he was there. I happened to know that he accepted sex from some of the poorer womens for his services and his wife was just as blissfully unawares as any innocent lamb being led to the slaughter. Her naitivity along with her tenacity to do right by her children and those that came behind had captured me just as much as that beautiful smile and broken talking she did.

It wasn't that I didn't love my wife because I did. I loved her as much as anyone could love someone who was picked for them. My mama thought it would be good to hitch me to her so that she could block any evil may come my way. My daddy liked that her father owned storefronts, so she was well-off. Jeanne liked to play with cards and even turned the parlor of our house into her shop where people could come have their fortunes read or buy chicken feet, certain herbs and tonics, to make them feel as if they were cursing someone who had crossed them. As long as it kept her out from under me while I worked, studied and spent time with Rachel, I indulged her. It wasn't anything new and there were many women in the Bayou who did the same and I didn't believe that they could cast curses any more than I thought she could.

"I can't believe that I am married to a real live man of the law. I just love the way that sounds." She started to speak.

"Yes, yes you are." I told her as she clenched my arm even tighter as we crossed the street.

"I know what I am gon' do, I am gon' be throwing you the biggest party on this side of the Bayou. I'm inviting everyone we know. I'll be making all of your favorites. There's gon be Muffaletta, Po' boys, Gumbo and I may even get us one of those there new things, snowball machines that do the ice with flavors. What do you think 'bout that?" She asked speaking a mile a minute.

One thing I know is that when she had her mind set on something wasn't anything I could say to change it. I didn't much want for a big party but I knew she wanted it so I wouldn't take that away from her.

"Sounds like fun."

"It will be, I promise you that. I'll even wear one of those dresses you have been having me made from the docta's widow. She is handy with the needle and thread, I can say that for certain. You can even have her make you another new suit for it. Just make sure you can dance in this one. It's surely not gon be one to wear in the courtroom." She smiled showing her straight white teeth.

My wife was beautiful too. She had coffee colored skin and bright eyes that made everything she said seem exciting. On the other hand, when she was upset, they could make scare you right through to your core and that's for sure. I tried not to cross her just to avoid that look.

"Alright, I'll stop on by and have the orders put in for the morning. When is this party?

We have to give her time to work." I reminded her.

"Yes, you surely right 'bout that. Well, you already have that job at the firm. Let's give it about two weeks so you can get ya bearings and we can even invite the people in your office. Do you think that's a good amount of time there?"

"Well now, I don't rightly sew but I will ask her and get back to you." I answered as we walked into the local pub to have a drink to celebrate together.

"Yes, well, you let me know. You know, I saw her daughter the other day and that child is just a beauty and that's no lie. She is always so nice and polite and she talks betta than I ever could. She seemed a little nervous for some reason last we talked but she told me she is on her way to the Carolinas for college. Isn't that a hoot?" She inquired as I waved the waiter to place our order.

"It is exciting I suppose. She'll be one of the first gals, if not the first from round here to go all the way out to that new fancy school." I agreed.

It was around now that her face began to change, and I knew why. She had given birth to twins round the same Rachel had Rueann. It was a tough labor and she had barely survived it. The doctor saw after her and the babies, but they didn't make it past a few weeks. As for Jeanne, the doctor had to make it so that she could never carry children again to save her life. I had accepted it and so had she, or so it seemed. We would just never have children. I tried to assure her that she was surely enough and somedays, she did me the favor of pretending to believe it.

I had realized that every time Rachel had another child with her husband, Jeanne would go into a little bit of a depression and push herself deeper into her card telling. I always knew when Rachel had given birth because that parlor for her business in our house was never empty seems to me.

"You know, and I hate to bring this up, but when she was tellin' me bout her goin' away, I was thinking bout our two angels and what they would be up to now. Our boy and our girl, God bless their little souls."

"I know it." I answered as I reached across to gather her hand. "It's nothing that hasn't crossed my mind as well." I promised her.

"Has it? I thought for sure you never gave it a thought." She answered.

"How can you say that? I was there. I am just grateful for the doctor that you could be saved. I loved those babies, hell, I love them still. But this life without you..." I make a 'tsk' sound through my teeth before I finished. "Unlivable."

That right there brought a smile to her face and we both leaned over the table to kiss each other. The others there saw it and started yelling it was time to take a shot. We both laughed and accepted the shot that the bartender sent to us as well as everyone else in there. Right before everyone took theirs, she smiled and stood up.

"To my husband, the Law Man."

"TO THE LAWMAN!" they all cheered and then drank, I joined them too. She was right, now I was a man of the law, and I hoped it would now give me the courage to say what it is that I had never had the heart to before, to Rachel.