Just What I Needed

July 3 (Afternoon)

There was an ominous cloud creeping in as I walked by the boardwalk storefronts. A storm was heading in from over the ocean.

I was late to meet Holly and Kari for another summer bash planning party. I met Holly at the edge of the boardwalk and we made our way over to our spot on the beach and set up a blanket despite the wind starting to pick up.

Kari showed up twenty minutes later.

"You're late," Holly greeted her tersely.

"And? It's a summer party planning meeting. Jordan has missed like, eight of them," she sat down on the blanket.

Holly just glared.

I couldn't bring myself to make eye contact with her. I really wish she hadn't been the one to ask Nate to the party tomorrow. And I really wish Nate hadn't agreed to go to the party with her.

"What's wrong with you two?" Kari looked from Holly to me. "Are you seriously going to give me the cold shoulder over asking a boy out?"

"Forget it, can we just start this meeting?" I asked. I had planned on going back to the bowling alley in the afternoon anyway. Safely back in my cave to hide.

"No, we can't forget it," Holly replied. "It's not just a boy, Kari. It's Nate and I told you that it wasn't a good idea. Sisters before misters, do you remember the pact we all made?"

"Jesus Holly, that was four years ago! We were thirteen!" Kari said. "It's not even like Jordy is part of our crew anymore. She abandoned us all summer."

"Her effing family died, Kari!" Holly yelled and a few surround families looked over at us.

"Shut it, both of you," I stood. It was like I wasn't even sitting there with them.

A rumble of thunder rolled in the clouds above us and the winds were picking up a good amount of speed now. The waves hitting the beach were too strong for swimming and people were trying to pack up their belongings as the winds threatened to blow lighter items away.

"Where are you going?" Holly asked.

"To work," I walked off toward the bowling alley. I didn't have time for them to sit and argue about me while I sat right there. People were flocking off the beach and into the bowling alley, looking for an alternative beach activity. As I was about ten feet from the door, the skies opened up and rain came pouring down.

I ran inside, grabbed my apron and shut my locker, a little harder than I had intended.

"Oh, look," Barb snapped her gum behind the counter. "She's in a great mood again today."

I glared at her.

"Oh hun, you can't keep coming in here and sulking all the time," Barb handed me the disinfectant bottle. "You're early for your shift but I could use the extra help. Hurry up and finish up this row of shoes and then let's go have a chat."

I did as Barb said and met her behind one of the bowling ball racks.

"I know you're hurting, hun, and I'm sorry that on top of your hurt you've got boy trouble but the longer you wallow in self-pity, the longer you're going to get stuck here, understand?"

"I know," I nodded. "It's not like I want to mope around. I really want to change but it just seems that everyone is out to rile me today."

The words sounded so whiny and immature when I spit them out that I immediately wanted to put them back in my mouth.

"What's meant to be will never miss you, hun," Barb replied. "So, you're mad that your friend is asking a boy you like out. If that boy was meant to be, he wouldn't give your friend a second glance. If he's not looking back at you, he's not meant for you. Maybe he's just meant for you to learn a lesson."

I looked at Barb. I knew what she was saying but it didn't make it hurt any less.

"Go home, hun," Barb held out her hand. "I appreciate your help, but you've got to stop hanging out here every time you want to escape your problems. Don't come back until you have some good news, you understand?"

"I'm fired?" I took off my apron and handed it over.

"Temporarily. You can wait until the downpour slows, if you want."

"It doesn't matter much to me," I shrugged. I put my head down and started walking. The warm rain pouring over me felt good, like it was washing away some of the tension I had been holding in my muscles the last few days. I knew there were still some tough conversations that needed to happen but I was trying to concentrate on the current moment.

As I approached the back door of the house, I saw Nate in the kitchen. He was leaning against the kitchen counter with his arms folded, his jaw line looked tense like he was angry. My dad's back was to me. I could tell they were in a serious conversation and I didn't want to interrupt.

I made my way around the front of the house and quietly entered the living room. They couldn't see me from the kitchen in here but at least I was in out of the rain.

"I realize you're concerned about your daughter, sir, but she was right this morning," Nate's deep voice carried into the living room. "Since I have arrived, you've spent more time in that study than worrying about the whereabouts of your own daughter."

My dad remained silent.

"With all due respect, Coach and Jeff thought it would be good for me to stay here in an effort to bring some sense of normalcy to your house, but it really doesn't seem to have helped. Do you realize that earlier this summer, a local boy tried to assault your daughter on your own back porch?"

"Which boy?" my dad responded.

"That's up to Jordan to tell you, if and when she decides, sir. My point is, you telling her not to go to a party means nothing. She could have been wandering around the town every other night of the summer and you'd never have even noticed. Do you know where she's been? Do you?"

My dad was silent again.

"She works at the bowling alley, got herself a summer job. She comes home from her shifts and she trains in that shed in the back yard. Almost every night. Do you know how I know? Because I checked up on her. Your co-worker asked me to check up on her. He's not even her father and he's making sure she's ok. When are you going to man up?"

Again, there was a pause in Nate's rant where my dad had the opportunity to respond but chose not to. Nate sounded calm but sufficiently disappointed. He spoke in a matter of fact, stern manner that made him sound like he was the father and my dad was his son.

"Look, I get that you lost some very important members of your family. But you still have one more family member that is still here. And she needs you. She needs you to tell her that she is loved and supported and that she's not trying to figure this world on her own without the dad she needs."

"You're pretty wise for a young man," my dad responded. I could hear the emotional crack in his voice.

"I'm not wise, sir. I just see a broken family that needs some help with the puzzle pieces. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some laundry to do, if that's alright."

I grabbed the front door and re-opened it, closing it loudly, pretending I had just arrived home.

"Hey," Nate was standing in the entryway between the living room and the hall to the bedrooms.

"Hey," I responded.

We stood there staring at one another for what felt like two full minutes, neither of us sure what to say. 

Finally I broke the silence. "I got sent home from work."

"My game got rained out," he said and walked away down the hall toward Nicky's room. 

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