Most Common Writing Errors (ONGOING)

IMPORTANT: Showing Over Telling

This chapter talks about showing over telling. There is so much that goes into showing over telling, so please do not expect this chapter to cover everything. This is just a guide to the concept of showing over telling.

Please read the disclaimer if you haven't already.

Picture this: you're eating.

Let's pretend your favorite meal is lasagna. It's steaming hot and fresh out of the oven. There's fresh parm cheese soaking in the rich sauce, and the pasta is cooked to perfection. Maybe there's even some green to give the dish a pop of color.

But you're not eating to enjoy it.

You are someone who eats to get it over with. You eat to get calories and nutrition, that's it. You eat the lasagna and don't care about the blend of the flavors and the seasonings the chefs used. You don't take your time to taste anything. You don't take the time to think.

That is a metaphor for what telling is in writing.

There are two types of writers: the ones eating for the calories, and the ones eating to enjoy.

The ones eating for the calories use telling. They often overuse adverbs. Sometimes they tell the story more like a play-by-play rather than a narrative. They blatantly (haha, adverb) tell the audience what characters are thinking or feeling, like "He felt excited" or "He was sad."

The ones eating to enjoy use showing. They don't use many, if any, adverbs. They show the story, oftentimes using the five senses to do so. They let the dialogue and actions show what the characters are thinking or feeling.

Now, that raises the question: why did I use a food metaphor?

If you are reading a story that uses telling, it's like eating food for calories. You're not thinking, you're not immersing yourself in the flavors/words, you're not in the moment.

But if you're reading a story that uses showing, it's like eating food for enjoyment. You're thinking about the words being said, you're immersed in the flavors/words, you're in the moment.

You're with the characters.

Instead of saying "She was sad," think of ways you can show sadness. There are more simplistic ways like frowning, sighing, hanging heads, tears in eyes, etc. There are also more advanced ways where you describe the physical state of a character, like the pattern of their breathing, the way their voice sounds, their posture, the position of their eyes, etc. If it's in the character's POV, you may describe how they feel in their lungs, or their heart, or their head.

Different situations call for different forms of storytelling. I cannot sit here and tell you how to describe your story because, at the end of the day, you're writing it, not me. My advice to you would be to pick and choose which storytelling devices you use depending on the scene you are writing.

For example, my action scenes have changed over the years. My writing style for action scenes is noticeably different from the rest of the story.

My style is the five senses. I use all five senses to describe scenes, but during action scenes, my sentences are shorter and more to the point. The vocab tends to be less advanced.

In my upcoming book, Obsidian, the main character is half-demon and has heightened senses. Since the book is from his POV, the sensory detail goes above and beyond my normal work. In action scenes, the sensory detail is still there, just in much shorter bursts to keep the action scenes engaging and written in a unique way.

Every author has their style. My style is descriptive with the five senses. Others may prefer using shorter sentences all the time. Or maybe you prefer longer sentences and paragraphs. Maybe you prefer to write dialogue-heavy stories.