My boy was a montage
A slow motion, love potion
Jumping off things in the ocean
I broke his heart 'cause he was nice
She feels silly now that she has arrived at her destination. It has been a while since she has stepped foot in her hometown, since she has seen the people she had left behind for her dream in the city, since she has chosen herself over the love of her life. She huffs at the irrational thought and puts her sunglasses on before stepping out of the car.
The priest is already in the middle of the ceremony when she joins the crowd. Everyone wears black but somehow she still stands out. The casket they are all gathered around contains the remains of the owner of the only coffee shop in town. Everyone loved him. And he loved everyone. The news of his death felt like a seismic shift in her world that she knew she would regret it if she didn't come and pay her respects.
His picture smiles warmly at her. Her heart shatters at the sight and she rapidly blinks away the fresh tears stinging her eyes. He was a force of nature when she was a young girl. He was an uncle who allowed her caffeine when she was a teenager. And then he was a friend who witnessed the beginnings of her first love. He told her to keep in touch before they parted ways on the day she left for the city. She didn't call him once.
Silent tears of regret stream down her cheeks. She feels someone's eyes on her and sees him. He still has the power to make her heart stop beating. She tries a small smile, but his expression remains cold as ice. She looks away, knowing that she can only take so much heartbreak in one day.
After the funeral rites, everyone goes quietly. She pretends not to see him telling his wife and little daughter that he needs a minute to talk to her. She pretends not to see the foul expression on the other woman's face, the curious one his daughter holds that looks so much like his. She pretends that her knees didn't weaken at the sight of him pressing a kiss on both their cheeks in comfort before walking over to where she stands.
"You're here," he says by way of greeting. His voice reminds her of expensive whiskey. Deep and smooth. He has changed so much yet not at all. She tries to make sense of it. "You look well. How was the drive over?"
Small talk. It feels like a punch to her gut. "It was fine," she answers coolly. "Been a while. How are you?"
He nods, "Good." It reminds her of how hard she worked before to rid him of those one-word answers. But then he surprises her by adding, "He waited for your call, you know."
You or him? is a question she doesn't ask. Instead, she becomes defensive. "I didn't come here for a guilt-trip, Jeong-hyeok," she replies in a sharp tone. The tic in his jaw appears. He's annoyed. She feels triumphant. "Life happened. He must have understood. He wasn't you."
A bitter smile appears on his lips. His beautiful, pouty lips that she had kissed more times than she could count. "Yeah, he wasn't," he confirms, resigned and weary. "He believed that you loved me enough to come back. Guess his gut wasn't always right."
Her grip tightens around the strap of her expensive handbag. Nobody knows that she did come back. Nobody knows that she stood in the rain for God knows how long as she stared at the sight of him and his now-wife on a date. Nobody knows that to this day, he remains the only person she loves more than she loves herself.
The success that is Yoon Seri feels utterly empty inside. She turns to sleeping pills at night instead of the comfort of a husband. She eats only three spoonfuls during meals because nothing comes close to his cooking. She spends most of her time in the office, even during holidays, because there is no one waiting at home.
She turns to him with an air of finality. She got her dream of building a billion-won empire. He got his dream of having a family. One glance at Dan tells her that they are expecting another. A part of her thinks that it may be the son he has always wanted. He is lucky that way.
She holds out her hand because anything more will only break her. "It's good to see you. You have a beautiful family."
He looks like he wants to say more but chooses to wear his famous stoic façade. He shakes her hand, and she knows that the ghost of his touch will haunt her for a while. "I hope you're happy, Yoon Seri."
In the end, there's nothing more left to say. They have chosen their lives and there is only living it that remains.
