Song- Can't pretend: Tom Odell
Trigger warning for mentions of self-harm, suicide, and light sexual content.
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"I had to use the killing curse, you know I did. If I hadn't known how to cast it-"
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The sky is crying Anne used to say when we were kids. My mother would prop her up against the windowsill, and there she would stay for hours, tracing each gobbet of rain against the glass panes like she was mopping them up from the sky's eyes.
The sky isn't crying, it's just rain I would return with a little inflection of sanctimoniousness in my voice. But even as a small child, if Anne asked me to amend the sky's sadness, there I sat for hours beside her. I owed it to him to fix Anne because he would've never let Anne sit alone at the windowsill.
The windows of the castle were centuries old, the panelling not quite right, and the glass trickled tiny beads of condensation into a small puddle on the side of mine and Ominis' desk. The delicate rainwater collected, and I let the tip of my finger just feel the cold for a moment.
The sky was sad today.
It didn't matter how many classes Ominis and I attended, how many times our normal routines tried to drag us kicking and screaming back to normalcy, our minds were busy, bothered, but blank. I felt like the world I was rushing, that the other students' worries of exam scores and homework were calm, but nobody could see me sprinting through the never-ending maze to get back to the middle.
It had been weeks, maybe four, and if I looked hard enough, I could still see the blemishes of blood when I looked to Ominis' hands.
Ominis had crafted a very carefully constructed lie, one that had professors and students alike fooled. It was lonely here, living in a bubble where someone pretend had been able to take Madeleine so quickly, it was lonely because we had given too much opportunity for everyone outside of the bubble to rip apart Madeleine's character, all for a lie.
That Gryffindor still hasn't woken up.
Why would she want to kill herself?
I heard Sallow's barely left the Hospital Wing.
Will she ever wake up, Sallow's Gryffindor, I mean?
Ominis held a gentle hand to my wrist, and I questioned every time how he was so silent in a storm of whispers. Ominis didn't care much for my end of the string, but he knew Madeleine cared, so he held on for me, just until she could rethread it to the beats of her heart again.
My fist unclenched momentarily as the mendacities stopped travelling down Professor Hecat's classroom, the room I used to love now permanently scarring me with the image of Madeleine's empty seat in the space across the room.
"Sallow." Garreth wasn't an inherently terrible person, he was just the centre of every problem, the school's biggest gossip informant, and a Gryffindor.
The combination wasn't looking good for Madeleine.
"Oi, Sallow!" I turned as slowly behind me as I could, as if to embrace the last few minutes of my day without a run-in with Garreth Weasley.
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