Kavin & Kaning: Our Story

INTERMISSION

Mona was my closest friend besides F4. I’ve known her just as long as I’ve known Thyme, MJ and Ren. She was always welcome at my place. We would play together, make flower garlands together, listen to stories told by my grandmother together, eat snack together, laugh together…There’s no childhood memory of mine wherein Mona isn’t a part of it; she was always there. As we grow older, we’ve remained close friends even when our interests in life started to vary. As a young teenager, cute and pretty girls have become my latest fascination while Mona found photography as a relaxing hobby.
I didn’t mean to use Mona as an excuse whenever I was breaking up with the latest girl I was dating at that time. It just happened that there was this very clingy girl who wouldn’t let go of me. In my desperation, I called Mona to meet us. Since then, I’ve been using Mona as my alibi. That she’s my new girlfriend. It seemed to work until Claire whom I wanted to dump needed proof that Mona and I were indeed dating. All because she saw us in our break-up act together. Even if this is a ‘poor piss plan’ I can still fool her into believing that Mona and I were indeed dating. She wanted us to kiss. Alright, we will kiss.
As I looked at Mona I saw her apprehension. I understand why. Through all the years we’ve grown up together, we’ve never been this intimate. We’ve never addressed or acknowledged the growing feelings we have for each other. But we have to do it. I wanted to be rid of Claire. I cupped Mona’s face with both my hands. Urged her to get on with this. I made sure that my right hand would cover our lips as I fake kiss Mona. My left thumb was over her lips but only Mona and I knew. As for Claire, she got her proof. She left at once.
I knew something’s changed inside of me. Between us. I have to play it cool though. Mona and I are just friends. I don’t want to break the unwritten rule. Female friends are off limits. Given that Mona is my only female friend, she is completely off limits.
In all honesty, Mona and I would have made a perfect couple. But a friend is a friend. I know all too well what would happen if I cross the line. Everything will crumble.
“I told you.” Mona spoke. We were back at my place. “People will remember if it’s the same person. Next time find someone else.”
“Don’t complain.” I shot back. “If I’d had another friend, I would have asked her to help. You’re my only close friend who’s a girl.”
“No. You made a move on all the other girls you know.” She pointed out. “Eh. You could try a different approach. Like asking F4 to help.” She suggested. “I think you and Thyme would make such a cute couple.”
“That’s right. How did I miss that?” Does she think we are in a ‘boys love’ genre drama? The horror! She’s lucky Thyme didn’t hear her. She would have to run all the way to Africa to hide from him. “You’re gonna get it.” I walked closer towards her and playfully squished her face.
“You go after my face now?” She slapped my arm. “But really…I think this is too risky. What if we had to kiss for real?” She pretended to gag in disgust.
“Give me a break.” I retorted. “You’re not like this with other guys.”
“Who?”
I didn’t know what came over me then. But seeing her pretending to throw up in disgust if we did kiss for real, triggered me.
“P’Knight, the guy who’s chasing after you,” I blurted out. “I see you. Don’t make me show the pictures.” I scrolled through my phone, unaware of Mona’s reaction to what I said. “Here it is.”
“Look at this picture,” I swiped through the photos of Mona with Knight.
“Hold on, where did you get these?” She tried to stop me from looking at more photos.
“Knight, kiss kiss.”
“That’s gross.”
That might have been the last time Mona and I laughed together heartily. I shouldn’t have let my emotions overcome me. But her growing closeness with Knight made me violently jealous. I could never forget that day. The very last day I saw Mona. We were at my house talking about random stuff we saw on social media.
“I checked it out. Claire blocks you for real. I saw her post some pictures just now.” Mona said loudly. “Feeling like you missed out? I think she’s a good fit for you.” She joked.
“If I had a girlfriend, you’d be the one missing out.” I replied.
“Wow. Do you think you’re a national treasure?” She mocked. “If I had a boyfriend, you’d be the one missing out.”
“You’re not a national treasure either.” I replied.
We were having such a good time. Why did she have to ruin it all?
“Seriously, even Knight said that she’s a perfect girl for you.”
“Knight has opinions about me now?”
“He has opinions about everything. As soon as I complain about something, I’ll hear opinions, suggestions, and everything. The other day I told him I was done taking pictures in the city. He sent me dozens of tourist destinations, valleys, temples, beaches, hills.”
I just sat there and listen as she talked animatedly about Knight.
“When I told him I wanted to take pictures of the beach, you know what he did?” She sounded excited. “Look.” She showed me a screenshot. “He booked accommodation for our trip.”
Pure jealousy shot through my whole body.
“Do you think I should go?”
My honest answer would be no. I look at my phone. On my screen was a photo of Mona with Knight. 
“Why are you all quiet?
“I was just thinking that you didn’t need to ask me that question.”
“Of course, I have to ask you. You’re my friend.”
You’re my friend. My friend. My. Friend. Friend.
Now I know who and what I am to Mona. “Go if you want to go.” I couldn’t stop her. “But…remember to use protection.” I didn’t hold back either.
“What’s that?” Was she confused? “How can you say that?” No, she wasn’t.
“When a guy asks you to go on a trip with him, what do you think he wants? You already know it. Don’t act all innocent.” Do I really have to spell it out for her?
“But I don’t know. If I knew, why would I ask you?” She fought back. “What’s wrong with you?”
Now I’ve made her mad. “Instead of warning me politely, you had to be all sarcastic.”
“I wasn’t.” I hissed. “Do whatever you want. I have no right to stop you anyway.”
The look of shock on her beautiful face. I wanted to regret I said those words at her but I was a coward. “Gotta go.” I walked out on Mona for the very first time. I didn’t even bother to turn around and stop when she called after me.
I haven’t even made a confession to her yet I managed to ruin our friendship.
To cool off, I went to the bar I usually go when I’m looking for a hook up. I just wanted to be distracted. A random girl made a move on me and we were just heating things up when Mona appeared. I didn’t want to argue with Mona anymore.
“Let’s go,” I told the girl I was with, ignoring Mona. She however didn’t want to be ignored.
“I’m here to clear the air.”
The random girl I was with assumed that Mona is just one of my hook ups. “Who are you? Why are you sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong?” She pushed Mona.
I may be angry at Mona right now but I didn’t like her getting hurt. I got in between the two.
“Mona. Why are you all up in my business?”
“I haven’t cleared the air with you.” She defended. We’ve had our disagreements in the past but we’ve never come to the point of having a fight. This was a first in our friendship. I’ve known Mona too well that she just wouldn’t sit by without fixing whatever has come between us. “What’s the matter with you anyway? You threw a fit and walk away. You look like you have something to say to me all the time but you never say it in the end.”
“I don’t want to say it.” I snapped.
“How can I understand you if you don’t say it?”
“You don’t need to understand. Imagine. If you knew what you say would make things worse, would you say it?”
She hit me in the chest. “What you’re doing now is making things worse. Is this thing so much more important than our friendship? Are you going to let this thing stop us from being friends?”
“Yes.” I answered. Because I didn’t need to hear from her over and over again that we are just friends. All we will ever have is friendship. “I don’t want to be your friend anyway.” I said bitterly.
“Let’s go,” I told the random girl from earlier.
Mona grabbed my arm, still determined to clear the air. “You can’t just walk away.”
“I don’t want to do this.”
“Kavin, let’s talk it out.” She insisted.
“I said I don’t want to.” I was so annoyed with her that I accidentally pushed her down.
As she fell, her bag hit the floor and I can see her broken camera.
“Are you really going to ruin everything?” She asked. As she stood up, she looked me in the eye. “I do not understand you. Not at all.”
It seems that the only way for her to understand me is to say the words I shouldn’t tell her. In spite, I blurted out, “Because I like you. Happy?”
I’ve finally crossed the line. And everything was ruined just as I expected. From the look on her face, I could tell what Mona’s answer would be.
The random girl and I left the bar together and we had a one-night stand. Yes, that’s how shameless I am. I just confessed to the girl I really liked but I slept with a stranger.
The following morning, Mona messaged me. Let’s talk. Meet me at this building. (sent a location) at 6 am.
I couldn’t face her. What for? She doesn’t love me in the same way I loved her. I never showed up to where she wanted us to meet. Since then I haven’t seen Mona. She had completely vanished.
On the day Mona set for us to meet, I had a change of mind. It was past six in the morning. I was hopeful she would be still there, waiting for me. When I checked my phone to find out where, she had unsent the location. To this day, I have no idea where she wanted us to meet. Which building it was. Where the building was located. 
Although I may seem alright now, deep down I can’t ever forget Mona. She haunts me. She taunts.