shameless killers | billie eilish

[42] forgiveness

arianna miller
3 weeks later

i just got back from vacation and i've decided to go home. no, billie and i aren't fine but i miss being home.

"you sure you want to?" grace asks. "yeah, i'll text you if shit goes south" i say. "thanks for letting me stay" i add on.

"of course, anytime" she smiles. "love ya!" i say, "love you too niya" she says. i give her a hug before i leave.

i hop in my car and begin my hour long drive home. grace lives in central london and we stay just outside, close-ish to luton.

i put on some suicide boys 'cause you KNOW that's my shit.

"bitch it's ftp all fuckin' day all y'all look the fuckin' same" i rap.

"fuck the fame fuck a lane bitch i'm bout to swerve into the toll booth and scrape the change"

soon enough i arrive home and i see billies car in the driveway, fuck me. this shit finna be hard.

i get out the car and grab my bags before walking to the door and doing the face id shit.

clearly billie got the alert on her phone from the security cameras 'cause when i came in she was basically running down the stairs.

"arianna i'm so-" she begins but i cut her off, "billie, please don't talk to me right now" i say. "but i've gave you space. i've gave you so much space, we need to talk about this" she says.

"so you classify texting me nearly everyday, commenting on all my posts and calling me is giving me space?" i say in a tone.

"i'm just tryna show you that i'm sorry" she says. i roll my eyes and ignore her, making my way up to our room.

i unpack all my shit and get changed into comfier clothes. i make my way downstairs as i call on shark.

he comes running around the corner with his tail wagging and a huge smile on his face. "hi baby" i smile as i sit down on the floor.

which i quickly realise is freezing. this bitch hasn't had the heating on?

"i missed you sharkie" i say as i give him little kisses and shower him with affection.

"has mama been feeding you? she better been" i say. "i have" i look up to see billie leaned against the doorframe watching me. "i've been feeding him, walking him and all that shit. i've been cleaning the house and taking care of the garden" she says.

"that's.. good? thanks for doing bare minimum" i say. she rubs her face with her hands and runs her hands through her hair.

she groans before speaking, "you cant be mad at me forever arianna. i understand what i did was wrong and i know my excuse is shit but i'll do anything to make it up to you. i was shocked and stressed the fuck out because i just found out your pregnant. i went to a stripclub and got a lap dance off a dancer, then i went outside and there was a girl there. we spoke, i was drunk and high and so was she. i brought her back here and we fucked. that's the full truth! and i'm so fucking sorry arianna, i cant explain how sorry i am. i want to make everything right and correct my wrongs" she explains.

now i'm a crying mess. i don't even know what to say, i'm speechless. i just get up and run up to our room. "no, arianna- fuck! come back!" billie yells. i lock the bedroom door and fling myself onto my bed.

i want to forgive her, i really want to but the vision of her and the blonde girl fucking is just stuck in my mind.

i love billie so much, i'm not breaking up with her i just need more time.

"can i come in please? i need a shower" billie says as she knocks on the door. "there's four other bathrooms!" i say, "all without shampoo and conditioner" she says.

i roll my eyes and get out of bed and unlock the door.

i turn around to walk back to the bed and immediately i'm swept off my feet. "put me fucking down!" i yell as billie throws me over her shoulder.

i punch her back but and kick but nothings phasing her. "not until you talk to me" she says and starts running around and spinning.

"fine!" i yell out. she places me down on the bed and climbs on top of me. "please, just fucking talk to me. i'm going crazy without you" she says. "you're not fucking your way into forgiveness" i tell her.

"i don't want to, i just want you to forgive me. well- i know you won't immediately but please just talk to me, i fucking love you miller" she says.

i stay silent for a moment whilst we both just stare at eachother. "i love you too" i say. a smile immediately creeps on her face.

"finally" she cheers and showers me with kisses. "okay, okay stop" i laugh. "go for your shower" i say. she gets up and goes for her shower.

when she comes out the shower and gets changed into comfier clothes. she gets into bed next to me and keeps her distance.

she turns on the tv and puts the volume low. i turn on my salt lamp and decide to turn over and wrap my arms around her waist and throw my leg over hers.

"i'm sorry miller, i love you eternally" she says and kisses my forehead. "keep apologising and i'll kick your ass. it's annoying. i love you too" i reply.

we both quickly fall asleep, i missed this.

(a/n): just a filler.
forgive but not forget.

- leila