Good Intentions - Noah Sebastian

Delicate

Long, sleek, shiny, and reflective was the tour bus the towered over me. Noah and I stood on the curb with our bags at our feet while he talked to his manager.

I felt like I was swimming through a daydream nowadays. I felt detached from reality in the worst way. Here I was, with my career on pause standing next to the man that I love but was to afraid to say it. Waiting to board a bus that would lead us to his job, his career, his life.

A better question than how did I get here in Stella's mind, would be, why haven't I told him that I love him? My counter argument being; why hasn't he said it? My own counter argument to my first counter argument being; why do you think your are deserving of love?  All I've done is stress him out and causes him to make compromises in his life and career. I'm sure it's not ideal for him that I stand here on the curb with him ready to climb onto his tour bus.

The tiny voice in my head tempted me with stepping back from the curb and sneaking back to the airport that brought us here and heading home. I'd be fine on my own. The city can't have caused me that much trauma, has it?

"Where are you?" Noah's voice broke through my wall of thought. He stood shoulder to arm with me staring at the black tour bus in front of us.

"Standing on a curb with you" I said looking up to him. His eyes hadn't met mine yet.

"No. I mean in your head. Where are you in your head?" He pulled his eyes from the bus to meet mine. His brown eyes melting the ice that constantly tired to freeze over my heart.

"New York" my voice came out small and meek.

"Thought so" he nodded.

"Sorry" my eyes found the concrete under my feet incredibly interesting.

"Don't be. This is gonna be difficult for you. I understand". Noah brought his arm up and laid it across my shoulder, tugging me into his side as he spoke.

"You always say the right thing" I rested my head against his bicep.

"I took a crash course from Stella." He said with a goofy smile spreading on his face.

"You're better at it than her though. How'd you manage that?" I went along with him.

"The student has become the master" Noah turned to plant a warm kiss on my forehead. As he pulled away a large SUV pulled up behind the bus. As soon as the vehicle parked the doors were opening to reveal Jolly and the two Nicks. They climbed out, pulling their bags along with them.

"Hey guys" Noah called out as he stepped towards the group pulling me with him.

The group called back to Noah as we approached. When we stopped, Folio emerged from behind Jolly and wrapped me in his arms. "Tiny dancer! I missed you" he exclaimed.

"I missed you too, Folio" I hugged him back. The hug was a welcome warmth after standing in the frosty January air.

"Alright. You guys ready to see the bus?" AJ, the guys manager called from the tour bus door where he was working on unlocking it.

The group set in motion towards the bus. The guys went on talking amongst themselves. I followed along side Noah who was speaking to Nick as we walked.

The guys climbed the bus in a single file line, I stayed back with AJ as they explored the new bus.

"You ready for tour?" He asked as he held the door open.

"As I'll ever be, I guess" I said with a sigh.

"Violet!" I heard Noah call from deep inside the bus. AJ gave a knowing smile as he gestured for me to take the stairs.

I nodded to him as I took my first step pulling my bag with me. "Yes" I called back as I stepped into the living area.  I saw Noah taking long strides from the back of the bus towards me; he looked worried, no, alarmed. "What's wrong" I asked as he stopped in front of me.