Fell In Love In Stages // a matty healy fanfic

Undo

>>FLASHBACK<<
~2009
-Trinity's POV-

I glance at my watch. 9:15 pm. The graduation party, a covert effort I had helped the boys plan, was about to begin. It'd been tricky, organizing this event while concealing myself from Matty, but the anticipation of the moment he spots me here makes it all worthwhile, I tell myself.
"T" George calls from beside a gigantic speaker. "I need your advice." He gestures towards a towering stack of CD's. "Should we give them familiar and comforting? Or— he gestures to a separate pile—"educate their taste in music?"
"Keep it comforting" Ross and I both agree.
He nods seriously and throws the educational CD's into a box.
The doorbell rings.
All at once, everything was surreally normal. It felt like I hadn't left at all. George turns the volume of the music up and dances to get the door.

Soph and Lacy were the first ones in the door.
"Babe! It's so good to see you!" Sophie exclaims while giving me a tight squeeze. "Girl, how you been?" Lacy kisses my cheek.
"I flew in this morning" I say.
Soph had on red leather pants and Lace had on a sequinned dress. I look down at the jeans and tank top I had on.
"I came here straight from the airport and didn't get a chance to change. I think I'm underdressed."
"You're perfect" Sophie disagreed.
"Your face card never declines" Lacy reassures me.

"Woah" they both let out in unison as they take in the room decked out like a chic rave.
"I would ask if you needed any help but it looks like you've got things under control" Lacy says, still pretty awestruck.
"I may have gone a little overboard" I laugh.

I couldn't host the party at my own place, for fear of spoiling the surprise. Instead, I relied on the kindness of Will, who graciously lent us his house—the very house where Matty and I had our first encounter. Though it belonged to someone else, the party felt like my own creation, every detail reflecting the memories we shared.

I went to greet Mike and Claire, hoping the edge in my voice sounded like the right kind of excitement. Before I could get to anyone else, the bell rings again. I let Demi and Steven in, leaving the door wide, because Erica and Elijah were just reaching the steps.
I didn't get another chance to panic. I had to talk to everyone, concentrate on being the perfect hostess.

An entire year had passed since I last saw Matty, and the anticipation of meeting him again made me giddy with nerves. We'd agreed to avoid contact, but that was proving to be too difficult. The distance between us was far from ideal, but I had come here with hope, aiming to give whatever we had a fighting chance. Life without him had become unbearable, and I was willing to take the risk to be with him again, even if only for this night.

The party was a clear success, despite my nerves. The music was infectious, the lights almost hypnotic. From the way the food disappeared, that must've been good, too. The room was soon crowded, never claustrophobic. The entire graduating class seemed to be there, along with most of the juniors. Bodies swayed to the beat that rumbled under the soles of their feet, the party constantly on the edge of breaking into dance.

I circled the room once, no sign of Matty. I stretched up to my toes, craning my neck. Right then, I spot George and Lacy chatting at the back end of the room, at the foot of the stairs. I duck my way through the bodies, getting shoved around a bit. A few people were dancing now. I hurried to the stairs.
"D'you see'im anywhere?" I say all at once when I get close enough within earshot, my adrenaline pumping.
"I saw him walking up to the roof a while ago" Lacy says in response.

Ah, Matty. Of course. Crowded house. Where else would he be other than the roof, I think to myself.

My hands clutched the wooden railing as I ascended the stairs, my heart drumming in my ears. At the top, Sophie and Adam spilled out of one of the bedrooms, giggling arm in arm.

"Is it time?" Sophie exclaimed, and we all nodded with excitement.

"Just a moment, let me fetch Ross. He'd kill me if he missed this" Adam said, disappearing into another room with the door ajar. From where I stood, I could see Adam whispering into Ross's ear, while a curious crowd gathered around them. Soon enough, they returned, and we headed toward the window that led to the roof.

"Wait here, I'll go get him," I say, sensing the buzz of anticipation among us.

"Hey, don't keep him up there for too long," George chimed in with a cheeky grin. Then, his expression softened, and he turned to me with a more serious tone, saying, "He really needs this. He hasn't been the same since you left."
I only nod.

As I make my way to the roof, I tiptoe through the tiles, each step etched with familiarity. A comforting sense of déjà vu envelops me. My heart flutters with a rush of emotions as I hear his voice. I brace myself for the sight of him again, imagining the expression on his face—first of astonishment and then of joy. I can almost feel his arms around me, playfully threatening to never let me go, and the way he'd smile my favourite smile.

But as I draw nearer, I'm met with a different voice, one that belonged to someone else. It's higher, more feminine.
My stomach suddenly felt like it was full of sharp little splinters of ice.
Someone shouts cannonball in the distance, followed by a splash. My ears start ringing.

I peep around the chimney and see him sitting there against the parapet, legs apart. A girl is kneeling before him, her head hovering over his lap. His head is thrown back, gazing up at the vast expanse of the sky, and in that moment, the world around me blurs into a haze. I freeze in place, unable to comprehend what my eyes are beholding.

He shoves her head with force, his eyes still squeezed shut, letting out a soft moan. Reality crashes upon me like a tidal wave, extinguishing the warmth that had filled me just moments before. I'm paralyzed, unable to move or speak, as the sight before me burns into my mind.

The icy splinters twisted uncomfortably in my stomach. I was suddenly nauseated. Feeling gradually returned to my legs, but my steps were slow and measured. The crushing weight of existence was heavy and each step was an uphill battle. My vision blurs with the tears that refuse to be held back.

The distance between us expands like an unbridgeable chasm, and as I retreat, my heart aches with every silent footfall. Each step is a painful echo of what once was.

With tear-streaked cheeks, I gather what little strength I have left and climb back through the window. The room's atmosphere shifts dramatically as the excitement turns to concern, when they notice the state I'm in.

Sophie and Lacy were quick to embrace me.
George just stood there, looking horrified.
Ross and Adam exchanged a worried look, but say nothing.

George breaks the heavy silence, understanding flickering in his eyes.
"I'm going to kill him" he states, ready to confront him.
"No," I cry out. "He can never know about this— and I mean, I know he's your best friend, but i really don't want you to talk to him about tonight... Or about me. Ever. I already feel like such an ass."
Silence hangs in the air.
"Please," I plead. "Promise me."
After an exchanging of concerned looks, they all offered solace through their silent nods, promising to honor my plea for the sake of my mental well-being.

In that unspoken pact, I found some measure of comfort, knowing that my vulnerable moment would remain sheltered from prying eyes.
I take a step forward.

I walked out that house and never looked back.