𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐕𝐄, lando norris

01 ; I don't need any help

Tired, I rubbed my temples after serving our first customer for the day and propped my arms up on the counter. I had definitely not had enough sleep yesterday, which would affect my performance today.

"Rough night?" Jenna ran her cool hands over my back, looking at me sympathetically —

But I didn't need her pity, I didn't want it.

She had looked at me with exactly that look when the police had announced that my parents were gone and I couldn't bear the sight of it.

"Yeah," I sighed, tearing my gaze away from my aunt and fixing on one of the muffins in the glass case. "I was still writing that term paper until two o'clock yesterday." I admitted honestly, running a tired hand over my face.

"You can take it easy today," Jenna tried to lift my spirits a little, but it didn't work. No matter what she did the same as my mother —

She wasn't her and Jenna's behavior made me feel it every day. "Mrs. Wauman asked if you could watch the children today. They're getting a visit from their cousin."

I wouldn't have agreed, but I knew that Antonia's little babies could lighten my mood.

"Of course. I'll finish at three, then I'll go straight over."

Luckily, Antonia only lived a few streets away. I knew her from the babysitting I did in between to earn money and she was a really warm soul.

"I'll text her." Jenna announced and just a moment later her cool hands had left my tired body.

"Ah, one more thing." Her voice was further away, but still close enough to hear.

"Daniel is trying really hard to help you. I think —" I didn't let my aunt finish, I really didn't have the energy to discuss it at the moment.

"I don't need any help," I tried to make it as clear as I could while I opened the till to pay the vulnerable bills for the bakery.

"He's trying hard, Noa. That's worth a lot."

I shook my head in despair, not wanting to hear what she had to say. I just couldn't bring myself to talk about my or Daniel's behavior at the moment.

"Tell him to stop trying. He's not Dad, so he should stop pretending he is." My quivering voice was the only thing that alerted Jenna to any emotions that were racing through my head like a hurricane, ravaging everything.

"He lost family too, you know?" You could tell it was hard for Jenna to talk about her family, too.

Upset, I turned to my aunt. Tears stood in my eyes, almost forcibly choking my throat and denying me the oxygen I so desperately needed.

"Did he?" I snapped, my voice far too unsteady and shaky. I felt like Jenna was pulling me deeper and deeper into the deep hole I had been trying so desperately to free myself from for the last few months.

"As far as I can remember, you married him. He's not related by blood. He didn't know her like I knew her," I gasped in near panic as I realized my hands were starting to shake more and more. "How can you say that to me, Jenna?"

I looked at her in disappointment, but she avoided my gaze and looked at the floor instead. Of course she knew that she had hit a sore spot and crossed the line too far.

"I..." She couldn't get the words out. I saw a tear flow from her eye down her cheek and I couldn't care less.

"You know what?" With trembling fingers, I opened my apron and ripped the gloves off my hands before angrily throwing them on the counter and the apron after them. "I'm going to Antonia's now. Don't count on me today."

Suddenly I felt like a bubbling volcano that only needed a little longer to explode.

"Noa —" Jenna called after me, holding me by the wrist to stop me from leaving. "Please, that's not what I meant." My aunt looked at me pleadingly.

"Let's talk. Please."

I shook my head in disbelief, unable to believe how she had the nerve to ask me to talk after all that.

"This is pointless," I spat out so bitterly that Jenna's face screwed up briefly and I snatched my wrist out of her hand. "We act like nothing happened — like mom and dad aren't gone. We don't talk about it or what happened afterwards, we just block it all out. Life goes on, even without them, but you could at least pretend you cared about Mom."

I knew I had hit a vulnerable spot and took advantage of the moment to storm out of the store.

My lungs filled with the cool late summer air. It smelled of flowers and fresh rain that had been falling until a few minutes ago.

The streets of England were wet as the rain had completely covered them and huge puddles had taken their place on the roadside.

Nevertheless, the city looked dirty, with garbage everywhere and the smoke from the cars made the air look almost yellow.

We were destroying the world we lived in and didn't have a second thought.

Angrily, I kicked a stone off the sidewalk, which banged desolately against the edge of the sidewalk and lay there motionless.

Since my parents were gone, everything seemed to have become bleak. The world had lost its color and stretched out before me in grey and white.

I could no longer see its beauty, could no longer perceive the bright colors of the trees or the flowers, because for me everything was just black and white.

The pain threatened to engulf me and all I could do was watch and hope that I wouldn't end up melting.

I was brutally torn from my thoughts when I slammed hard into someone and landed in one of the many puddles that littered the sidewalk.

I looked up, annoyed, because I couldn't turn up at Antonia's in wet clothes. I would have to walk home and then walk here again, inwardly cursing the guy I had run into.

"Sorry, I didn't see you." He reached out a hand and gently pulled me to my feet as I took it. A brief twitch of pain shot through my right leg that I knew wasn't there and I clenched my jaw to stop myself from making any noise.

"It's okay," I sighed as I smoothed out my clothes. Maybe Antonia still had some of my clothes that I'd forgotten last time. "I should have looked where I was going."

I walked past the man without looking back, because since the incident, my head no longer allowed me to look strangers in the face.

I pulled my sweater tighter around my body as it was chilly outside and my clothes were soaked.