𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐕𝐄, lando norris

16 ; there was so much love

Toni had asked me if I could join her in after classes and I really had to get my mind off Lando, so I agreed to meeting her.

Now, I was sat with little Emma tight in my embrace. She was sleeping just like her brother but Toni didn't know what to say, didn't dare to say a word. I knew that she wanted to, that there was something on her mind that she needed to let out.

I sighed.

"Spit it out already." She shook her head to sort her thoughts, to pull herself out of them. Confused, the young mother looked at me.

"What?" Softly, she stroked over Matti's arm in order to shush him, but he was dead asleep. He didn't need to be shushed.

I cocked my head just the tiniest bit to get a clearer look at her soft features that were now tense. Her brows were furrowed ever so slightly and she pursed her lips.

"I can see that there is something bothering you." Her mouth stood open as she wanted to say something, but nothing left her throat. Shaking her head, she tried again.

"You know Lando is a dickhead. He doesn't think before he speaks." I sighed again. Did I really want to talk about Lando now? Did I want to get my mood ruined again? Actually, it was still ruined —

But could it get worse?

"I know." I stated, but it sounded more like a question than a statement. I knew that he spoke before he thought, that his mouth was faster than his brain. And I hated it, because a few hours ago it hurt my feelings. "But he can't just kiss me and say he didn't think nothing of it. That's not fair."

My voice became shaky and I hated how it affected me, that it always seemed to betray me.

"Oh, sweetheart." Toni mumbled, her warm hand now gripping on my arm. She knew it affected me more than it should, she knew that, in the back of my mind, Lando was still the very person my father so desperately wanted to meet before he died.

And he always would be the boy that my father couldn't meet but I fell for him.

It felt like I betrayed my father because it was so very unfair. Because life wasn't fair, it wasn't even close to fair. It still bothered me that I was able to meet him and my father couldn't, but I blended it out whenever he was with me because I didn't want him to think I hated him.

I didn't hate the brunette boy with the unruly curls, not even near.

And I hated that I couldn't bring myself to hate the McLaren driver, that no matter what I did, I seemed to fall for him more and more.

But that would stop now. I had to bring distance between us, I had to break that bond between us.

Because it wasn't fair.

"Now you're deep in thoughts." Toni stated, her brows now furring even more. I hated to admit that I had to bring distance between me and her nephew, so I didn't tell her.

Lando was in Bahrain, he couldn't care less about this.

"It's nothing." I sighed, running my hand through my hair. It wasn't nothing. There was a tornado of feelings rushing through my body, destroying every rational thought.

Toni looked at me, but it was clear that she didn't believe me.

"Do you know why Luisa and Lando broke up?" Questioningly, Toni looked at me, raised her brows. I didn't know, and I didn't want to know. It wasn't my place to ask, not my place to know.

So I shook my head.

"They were arguing at lot. Luisa wanted him to end his career because she hated the distance between them. Lando almost did it, you know? He was so very in love with her, he would have done everything she asked." The young woman ran a hand through Matti's blonde hair, softly stroking over the pulsating point on his head.

"But she cheated on him. His world fell apart and he couldn't handle whatever else happened. I suppose he did not tell us the full story because he is so very ashamed of what happened. He lost himself." Tears came into the young mother's eyes and her voice grew shaky. I furrowed my brows, wondering how Luisa could do such an awful thing to such a pure soul.

"Max helped him a lot and I saw the smile on his face. Whenever he was with you, he had this satisfied smile, this I'm so in love with you I would do anything you ask kind of smile. When your pictures got leaked, there were others too. There was Lando smiling, his arms around you. In his eyes there was so much love." I hated that she always made a pause, that she strained my nerves so much with the interest in whatever topic that was.

"I read the messages he received from friends and fans. They urged him to put a ring on your finger," Toni let a hearty laugh slip past her throat that made a smile grow on my face, too. "So he fled. That's what he always does. He flees from things that scare him. He says stupid things when he's scared of getting his heart broken again."

Tears came to my eyes now too.

He was scared?

What was he scared of?

Was he scared that I would break him like Luisa did?

"I would never do such a thing." I breathed, my voice barely a whisper. Toni knew that I would never do that, that I would protect his heart —

Not break it.

"I know you wouldn't, sweetheart." Toni gave me the soft smile that I loved so much, that always made me feel at peace. "But he doesn't. He is trying to ruin everything, but not because he wants to. It's because he is scared."

It made sense now.

Well, more or less.

I fled too, when things got difficult —

But I would never want to ruin whatever Lando and I had.