Grape Juice (By the Border, #1) ✓

11

I lost track of how many chapters I had written when I opened my phone to check the time, the clock displaying 9:00 in a glaring white light. I looked back at the cluster of words I just finished formulating, most of them I scribbled, and one page torn in half.

Ngunit hindi ko magawang magsulat ng letra, kahit isa iyon sa mga plano ko bago pumunta rito. Bigla akong nahirapan. So I started writing a story, and in my head, I pictured Kenzie giving me approving pats on the back, visibly pleased with what I was doing. Siguro ay pupunuin niya ang gabi ng kaniyang mga papuri at walang tigil na babasahin ang akdang ito.

I still thought fiction was a waste of time, but I had lots of it to spare, and anything that stopped the voice from ruining my night would suffice.

Lumipad ang isip ko sa hitsura ng karagatan. I sat on a wooden bench, its pastel blue paint close to fading away completely, its surface vandalized by dozens of people I didn't have the chance to know. Katapat ko lang ang kalawakan—ang dagat na hindi tinatamaan ng ilaw—at tanging iyon lang ang kasama ko ngayong gabi. The lonely scene provided very little appeal, but it gave me a spot to work on a novel I had no plans of publishing. Nearby was a building left unfinished, swallowed by time and ruin. Ang inabandonang lugar na iyon ay maaaring pagtambayan at galurarin, at tuwing maganda ang panahon ay inaakyat ko ang pinakaibabaw para panoorin ang lumulubog na araw.

The first raindrop decorated my paper. Inangat ko ang tingin at nasilayan ang itim na kalangitan. 'Di nagtagal ay lumakas din ang ulan. The water tickled my face, and my hands barely shielded anything. I ran to the abandoned building, seeking shelter, still covering the paper with my hands. The water ran down the ink, and some words turned to blotches of incoherence.

The once tolerable weather did nothing but become stronger, and with the warm air now gone, I rubbed my arms in a quick motion, hoping that it would be enough. It wasn't.

When the rain trickled into a slow stop, it was already seven minutes past 4:00 AM. Nahirapan akong maglakad matapos maupo at magsulat ng tatlong kabanata nang walang pahinga. Oras na para umuwi, at huli ko nang napansin ang kapaguran lkong kanina ko pa dinededma.

Nang makauwi ako ay naabutan ko ang bintanang nakabukas pa rin. Saglit kong ginala ang mata sa kabuuan ng aking kwarto bago pumasok, dahil baka sakaling nagpumilit na pumasok si Mama rito kanina. Mabuti nalang ay mukhang walang nangyari habang wala ako. There were no signes of her barging in. Well, she couldn't, as I made sure it was locked. Maayos pa rin ang kandado ng pinto. I was a heavy sleeper by nature, so the pin-drop silence was nothing out of the ordinary. Hinanap ko ang mga sinulat kong letra na nakatabi sa aking drawer at nakahinga nang maluwag noong makita silang kumpleto.

With less than two hours to sleep, I buried myself beneath the covers and fell into slumber.

Wala ulit akong panaginip, pero biglaan naman akong dinalaw ng kaba at pangangamba. Honest to gods, it was worse than some nightmares that haunted me before. The voice found a way to torment me as I stared wide-eyed at the sun that was starting to come up from the east. Mabuti nang tapusin lahat ng kailangang tapusin ngayong araw. Hindi pa man ako umaangat sa kama ay nanghina na ako sa naisip. Ito na naman. Balik na sa reyalidad.

The school had been swarming with students in white like usual, and I would've believed I was invisible as multiple bodies bumped mine, some a little less bearable than others. Inabot pa ako ng iyam-siyam—sampung mabagal na minuto bago ako makarating sa aming classroom. Marami nang nauna, kaya naman nang pumasok ako, lahat ng mga mata ay dumapo sa akin.

"I'm betting thirty bucks she's late because their house burned down."

The whole class erupted in fits of laughter at the statement. Wala namang nakakatawa, pero siguro ay wala silang pakialam kung may saysay ang mga sinabi nila o wala dahil hindi naman sila ang pinatatamaan.

Alam kong may pagkakataon akong bumawi at saktan din siya, pero mas alam kong wala akong laban. Hindi naman ako tanga o mangmang. Halos wala akong kakampi sa lugar kung saan lahat ay tinatrato akong kalaban.

Nanatili akong tahimik habang natatawang gumatong si Zeus. "Mga bobo. Baka iniwan siya ni Mommy kaya walang gumising sa kaniya. Malay niyo, nadiri na 'yon sa anak niya."

"Hoy, grabe ka naman! Baka umiyak 'yan, isumbong pa tayo sa best friend niyang bida-bida," singit ni Madeline. "Wasn't daddy's departure enough?"

I didn't think a louder round of laughter was possible until I heard them. That alone made something in me snap, and I stood abruptly, knocking my chair down, and once again, about forty pairs of eyes met mine.

Kaya tumakbo ako. Tumakbo papalayo.

Pinili kong lumayo, hiniling na hindi ko na ulit makita ang poot at pangungutyang nakapinta sa mukha nilang lahat, kahit ngayong araw lang. patuloy akong tumakbo hanggang ang presensya na ni Novah at Kenzie ang nagpatigil sa akin. I took a moment to breathe, after almost falling on the first flight of stairs, and I would've been injured had Novah been slower at catching me.

"Wesley?" Kunot-noo niyang tawag. "What are you—"

Walang imik akong nagpumiglas hanggang sa bumitiw siya at muling tumakbo. Soon I reached the gate, and though two guards attempted to approach, I ignored them until the school was no longer in my line of sight. Not that I turned to look back, anyway.

Tears threatened to fall as I rode the train heading north, my hands shaking and heart thrumming in my chest so much I swore I could hear every beat.

The sun greeted me with what I could only define as enthusiasm, and I failed to return the energy. Tila naubos na nang tuluyan ang lakas na natitira sa sistema ko, at halos humandusay na ako sa pinakamalapit na bakanteng pwestong nakita ko. The other passengers didn't seem to mind. Of course. Who would waste their time to help a hopeless teenager who skipped classes on such scorching weather? Libo-libo ang mapapangalanan kong bagay na mas importante pa sa akin.

Nanatili akong nakayuko at hinihingal, walang kasiguraduhan kung ano ang maaari kong makita kung pipiliin kong pagmasdan ang paligin. Ni hindi ko alam kung bakit ako naluluha. Nangangamba. Natatakot.

O baka nasasakal lang ako sa sitwasyon ko, dahil talo na naman ako. Talo, nanghihina, nag-iisa.

Just then, a familiar pair of pants passed by. I recognized it from my school's uniform for seniors. I brushed it off as a subconscious desire to have company as I broke a rule today.

My head tilted to the side from my heightened exhaustion. Hindi ko ito nilabanan, bagkus ay pinikit ko ang mga mata at nagsimulang umidlip.

But I came in contact with a hard wall, except that it wasn't. I jolted when my cheek was caressed by a warm hand before it rested on his shoulder, and I wanted to sigh in relief because for some reason, the warmth felt familiar.

Too familiar.

"It's okay. Pahinga ka muna."

"Novah..."

"Dito lang ako. Babantayan kita." His voice cut through all forms of noise as his hand stayed under my head, and suddenly, nothing else mattered. It was just us, my tiredness accepting his promise of solitude with open arms. "Rest, Wes. I got you."