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"tell me what uu see in me" i hummed summer walker lyrics while walkin into my kitchen ..
its was 4 am and JR still aint come home , he always go out with his friends , but he never came in late , i always text him and he will text back and say hes on his way ,, but that stopped so long ago i still text him , js to not get a respond but a beatan later , im js use to it now
but most of the times i text him be on a bad day , and i js get beat on js cause i text and call him
its not my fault i care for your safety its not my fault i love uu deal with itt .
i got some ice to munch one .. cs it js feels good on my teeth .. as im walkin to my room , i hear him come in ..
i love JR to death its js he do certain stuff , always arguin with the him and it hurts me .. but i cant see myself leavin him .
i went on my bed , waiting for him to come in the room , and he came in the room starin at me , i didnt look at him ,
" where were uu ? " i asked calmly i wanst a loud or ghetto girl .. i was calm and quiet
today i js had the balls to confront him abt himself and that didnt go right
"you didnt answer my calls or text and im so sick and tired of that now ,where were uu i said" i said a lil louder while he stand at the doorway lookin confused and high
"ayo shawty ion know who uu talkin to js get tf on bruh " he said walkin to the bathroom laughin
i was on the verge off tears bc what did i do , or say was funny so i walked to the bathroom a lil angry
"u always shut me out , and im so tored of this bull-" one punch to the face made me stop dead and my track and stumble
i looked at him and i blinked making my tears fall out my eyes" "mane gtfo with that shii , always do this shit LEAVE ME ALONE MANE I FUCKIN HATE UU BRUH" as he pushed me roughly out the bathroom so he can close the door
i walked slowly to the bed not even surprised but still shocked , i looked in the mirror and saw a big mark on my bio face , i js busted out crying but not loud that he would hear me
this has been goin on for a year and he say the same thing i would never do it again and he still do but atp he js stop saying it cs it was a everyday thing but its worser when hes super drunk so idk if hes really drunk rn , sm he would rape me and i would cry for help with blood js ovservin out my body
i havent told my dad , mom brothers or sister , nobody only my therapist knows cs if i did he would be dead and i love him to much for him to be gone
i only have a therapist cs of my ptsd and my depression ,i felt tears comin again as i js sat there , thinkin of life , cs why me god , why mee , as i hurd the shower turn off .. i collected myself together and stared at the wall cryin .
soon i hurd it stop , and the door opened lookin at him move quickly in the mirror , he looked at me and i faked sleep
"listen mamas , i know u not sleep im sorry for puttin my hands on u .. it wont happen again i know ive been saying it alot but hey maybe u should stop being a bitch and a whore this wouldnt happen" he said as he sat on the bed rubbin my thigh
i flinched at his touched and js kept my eyes closed while he kept apologizing all i can do was get up and hug him tight
" im sorry for the bruise and i dont hate uu mama , i love uu" he said rubbing it
i hissed cs it hurts but i shook my head
"its ok papa" i said , i love this boy so much idm if he hurted me so bad i still would love him
he layed me down while he finished getting dressed and pulled me on top of him , while he rubbed my butt ,, i closed my eyes and quickly fell asleep
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—————————————————— ion like this . next chapter gonna be better
