The Female Sideman Miniminter x Reader x Aitch

Josh's Party & a dark place

I woke up to a feeling of emptiness, my heart ached for Simon. It's hard being with someone every day and then they are just gone. You know you need to shrug the feeling off but it's difficult. You have to see Simon today because it is Josh's birthday.

You drag yourself in the shower and your body is riddled with anxiety. What if he brings Talia? Everyone is going to be looking at you if he's there with her. Nevertheless you force yourself to get ready.

Makeup & Hair

Outfit:

You were ready a little early (shocker) so you decided to post a birthday pic for josh.

Pics: (first you are Freya. Second you are Simon)

Caption: Happy Birthday Zerkaa
Happy to be on this crazy journey with you my brother
Love 🫶🏻

After you post the birthday post. You take a couple of photos for your Instagram and then you get an Uber to Ethan's. You where excited because last night Ethan told the boys about Faith meaning she was coming today. So you had someone else to talk to. When you Uber to Ethan's, him and faith jump in and you continue the Uber to Joshs party.

When you get there you feel so uncomfortable. You feel as though everyone is staring at you. You cling onto faith and Ethan guides you two to the main part of the party. When you look up you spot Simon across the room. You look at him with a longing feeling and sadness written all across your face. He then locked eyes with you and shot you a small smile. You felt a little bubble of excitement inside you. That feeling was short lived, as the eye contact was broken by Talia catching Simons attention. You felt as though your heart was ripped out of your chest all over again, and talia was stamping on it. She puts her hands around Simons neck and they kiss.

Your heart was shattered, you didn't know what to do. You began to panic. Feeling stupid you grab a bottle of alcohol (your choice) off the table and sneak outside. You walk around looking for a quiet place while tears stream down your face. You go upstairs and find a room with a balcony that is to the back of the building. You sit down on the balcony and began chugging the bottle in between your sobs.

———————————time skip ———————————

Around 30 minutes have past, you where still sat on the balcony. The bottle had gone and you where now drunk. Your body felt numb and you didn't mind that. In fact you liked that feeling, for once in a long time you didn't feel anything. Your phone would not stop ringing, you ignored all forms of communication. You just sat there on the balcony in silence.

You heard someone coming upstairs.

Ethan: Y/N? Are you up here?

Y:N: (silence)

You hear the footsteps getting closer.

Ethan: Y/N... (sympathetically)

Ethan sits down beside you and looks at you with worry in his eyes. He just stares at you and how broken you are. He rests his back against the wall and pulls you in and hugs you. You sob into his chest. Neither of you say anything. He just holds you while you cry.

————————-Time skip next day ———————-

You woke up in your bed with the biggest headache. You thought to yourself "what happened last night?" You ponder for a moment and then it hits you. Your heart dropped to your stomach.

*phone goes off*

Shit! You have filming today. You don't know how you are going to deal with this. You'll have to see Simon. How can you even be on camera when you feel like this. You start to panic. You look around your room and your eyes lock onto some drinks you have saved from a pre drink you had. You grab a bottle and just start to down it. You throw on and outfit and get ready then head down to film.

Makeup and hair:

Outfit:

You drank to the point where you where borderline tipsy but just enough to feel numb. When you got downstairs to film the boys all stared at you.

Y/N: What? I'm fine?

They all just look at you sympathetically.

Josh: (whispers to the boys) I think one of us should have a word with her. (The boys all agreed)

You film and then before anyone can talk to you you rush straight upstairs and lock you door. You sit on the bed and you find yourself staring at the bottles again.