Bright Young Thing

Chapter 5 - Go Without Knowing

Warnings - talk of religious beliefs, Mild cursing maybe more, Mentions of abortion
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Two days I pondered telling Sam yet again and now it's been close to the time I was supposed to start gathering things to leave for Washington. Billy always promised a place to stay when I visited or ever needed a get away place. At first it all freaked me out when I found out there was more than werewolves. That shapeshifters were different but they still turned into wolves giant ones to be exact. I didn't know all that was out there but I knew quite a bit that I needed to know to get by. Did that mean I should know more yes that was a dead fact I knew I needed more information. That's another reason I went to seek out more people and came across Billy.

Don't get me wrong over the time I met Sam I had always questioned those stupid antiques that dad sold at every auction. All of them seemed like they followed you with their eyes or like something sinister was attached to them. Whatever it was I only thought it to be my imagination and not real. Of course that was until I met the Winchester brothers which ruined my life. Maybe I shouldn't tell Sam because it would put the child at more of a risk than ever. But on the other hand he deserves to know because it is his child too after all. Don't get me wrong I've been weight pros and cons the past few weeks that I have known about the baby.

Don't get the wrong idea about me because a very big part of me wants to go and find Sam to tell him. Or possibly even maybe simply just call him and explain what's going on. That I'm pregnant and there's only one person who could be the father and it's him. I haven't felt great since I slept with Sam and I didn't realize what it meant until a few weeks ago. So there's no way in hell Sam might stop hunting and leave Dean to be with a baby and his baby's momma. As harsh as i am being on myself it's true and if I know it so does everyone else. The only problem here is the monsters that lurk in the night and are hidden during the day. They might come after me and this baby as if life wasn't hard enough being young with a baby who's father isn't around.

Then again part of it's my fault, I got involved with Sam and dean along with their hunting life. So Sam isn't the only one to blame here and god knows that. I mean god is out there so he has to know right, but the only reason I believe that is due to the fact fucking monsters exist. I mean come on if monsters exist, werewolves, shifters, vampires, ghost, and more then god is out there right. Angels, archangels, demons, the devil, what is real and what isn't real. That question is fucking unanswerable really, even with the shit you read and the stuff your taught. Nothing is real or not real anymore you, well I can't decipher what's fiction and non fiction anymore.

I read books but part of me wonders if their telling the truth or if it's some fucked up fairytale story. Or maybe I'm dreaming and this isn't real at all, or some form of a simulation of some kind. Maybe I'm in some fucked up dream that has no chance of being real. I mean monsters come in no one would believe me and they'd send me to a mental institution. God if dad knew the truth, hell if anyone knew what really lurks around at night and day they'd probably sign themselves into a hospital. I mean seriously when Sam and Dean told me about the ghost they were hunting that night I thought they were crazy. Until I showed up ballsy and all trying to help Sam and Dean fight whatever it was.

Only to freak out, find out he wasn't or they weren't lying and nearly get killed by a damn poltergeist or ghost/spirt of some evil little girl. I mean that's enough to put anyone in the hospital not even I mean start talking about monsters to strangers and they might call to get you some help. Hell I'm surprised I didn't sign myself into a damn mental institution after that spirit thing tried to kill me and Sam. Heck I can't even imagine how they grew up with all that shit at such a young age. It's crazy and to think my child, our child is going to live in this world. Maybe it would be best if to abort the child but then again I couldn't dream of doing that to myself.

Miscarriages we're going on constantly around the world heck people abort children all the time. How they do it I couldn't understand unless they had valid reasons like it was actually harming their bodies more than it was worth keeping it. That part is totally understandable and way different than my current situation at hand.
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Authors note -

Hope your enjoying the book so far, no I still have yet to entirely know where this is headed so join me on the ride of confusion and randomness.