Warnings - religious beliefs, self-harm, attempted suicide, near death
__________________________________I looked at the man who I learned was supposed to be an angel, but I didn't understand if he's an angel why doesn't he have wings. I also didn't understand why he was suddenly appearing here out of nowhere for whatever reason. It scared me, but he seemed to look at me with a hint of confusion and recognition.
"Why are you staring at me like that?" I snapped
"Your Sam's daughter" he said
"How do you know that?" I asked nervously
"Well, all the angels are talking about you on angel radio which is odd because your supposed to be in Washington" he said
"Yeah supposed to, but not going back ever" I said sarcastically
"Why not?" he asked
"Cas now isn't the time to question Trinity, why are you here suddenly?" Sam asked
"Where's your wings?" I asked
"You can't see them, but I can and other angels can too" he said
"But that makes no sense why can't I see them if your supposed to be an angel" I said
"Because they are invisible to the normal eye, why is she questioning me?" Cas said and looked at Dean
"She's fourteen and hasn't met an angel why else would she question you?" Dean said as if it were obvious
"Well, she shouldn't be here she's supposed to be under her m..." Cas began but Dean stopped him
"She doesn't know about that" Dean said softly but loud enough for me to hear
"Why are you here anyway Castiel?" Sam asked
"Oh so Cas is short for Castiel, cool" I said
"Thanks" Cas said with a smile
"I think your whole get up needs work, but it's cool seems normal for an angel I suppose" I said
"Well I like my trench coat" he said
"Yeah, but it's outdated really" I said with a smirk
"None of us really understood the trench coat thing either" Sam said
"She's not wrong" Dean said
"Okay enough about me, she shouldn't be here" Cas said
"Why the hell not mr. I'm an angel" I snapped
"Because he will find out if he doesn't already know" Cas said
"I do know" a British voice said
"Crowely" Dean and Sam said at the same time
I cringed at the name, he killed my mother, anger flooded me as I began using magic to hurt him. He dodged some of them, but eventually I had him in my hold while everyone was shouting and running about.
"You killed my mother" I growled out
"Don't blame me, blame those two who couldn't save her for the second time around" He hissed in pain
"NO, you it's your fault she's dead and now it's your turn" I hissed
"I like her" another voice said catching me off guard
"Lucifer" Sam said
"Trinity he can't die, we need him alive" Dean said
"Like hell I'll let him stay alive, he deserves to either die or be punished" I snapped
With a snap of my fingers he was tide up to a chair with special chains to hold him in place.
"I can handle the punishment if you like kiddo" Lucifer said
"How do I know you won't just set him free" I said
"I'm the devil punishing people is more strong suit" he said
"Wait as in the actual devil?" I asked
"Why else would they call me Lucifer?" he asked
"I don't know, maybe cause your mom or dad was a devil worshipper or something" I said stating the obvious
"Well not particularly no" Lucifer said
I rolled my eyes and motioned for him to take Crowely to wherever he was going to punish him at. Most likely hell at least that's what I hoped for at last, but no one knows really it was the devil after all. After that Sam and Dean showed me to a room I could stay in where I planned to stay for a few days alone. Once I was in that said room I went towards the bathroom to take a shower and calm down some more. But nothing was working for me, but I hated the thoughts that were coming to mind. The hurtful thoughts coming to my mind, why did Leah want to push me away so easily. Had she truly waited for the perfect moment to push me away and go off on here own.
Was I that much of a burden that she wanted me to do this to myself, to hate the way I look in the mirror. The way my body looks, the way I look in general, I hated the idea, but I heard people at school say it helps with pain. So I grabbed the raiser blade and pressed it to my arm and pulled hard. I watched with a hiss in pain as the blood dripped down my arm onto the bathroom floor. It for a moment released the pain I had been feeling, so I did it again and again, but stopped when I noticed all the blood. I quickly bandaged arms, cleaned up the blood to the best of my ability and quickly got dressed and whipped the tears from my face.
__________________________________Authors note -
Sorry for the sad parts and if anyone needs someone to talk to please contact someone even me if needed. My comments and messages are always open.
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