Lover • l.mk

Pity

Funeral. It's the day when everyone mourns the person who has left us. The family members give an emotional funeral speech in memory of one person. Everyone removes the colors from their lives and dyes themselves black. The family members are comforted by everyone.

If this is how it's supposed to go, why don't I feel anything? I am fine. Perfectly fine. As if nothing happened. My mother is crying and looking at the pictures of my father. But I can just stare at them. All the family pictures. They have no meaning to me.
Ever since I heard about it, I don't feel anything. I don't feel sad, I don't feel happy. I don't want to cry, I don't want to smile. Everything feels like a burden.
I heard the doorbell and rushed to my room. I didn't want to see anyone. I didn't want to be comforted.

I heard a knock on the door and before I knew it, my mom walked in with a small smile on her face.

"Haelynn, Mr. Lee, and his family are here. I want you to come and say hello to them."

I looked up at her and sighed. They were the last person I wanted to see right now. Why can't they all just leave me alone?

"I'm coming." My voice sounded quiet since I hadn't spoken in hours.

"Fix your hair before you come out." She said and marched toward the living room.

I turned my gaze to the mirror and stared at my reflection. My face looked pale. My hair was in a messy chignon. I looked like a messy Chihuahua.

I straightened my hair and applied concealer to the bags under my eyes.

No matter what, you should always look presentable. And those are my mother's words. Maybe that's why she still wears her blonde hair in a perfect bun. Her clothes were also perfectly pressed.

I peeked into the common room and when all eyes moved to me, I had no choice but to go in.

"Haelynn please sit here," the woman with them said patting the spot next to her

I walked up to her and awkwardly sat down.

"Honey, are you okay?" it was all it took for me and before I knew it, I was crying.

"Haelynn, please.", my mother said to me. that wasn't her way of comforting me. This was her way of telling me to stop ruining my image in front of them.

"Oh, baby, you'll be okay," our kind neighbor said, putting my head on her shoulder and patting it gently.

I wasn't crying about my father. I'd never do that. I was crying because I had held back for so long. Even after all the things he had done, he was still given good words that smothered me.

I stood up from her shoulder and fixed my position. I didn't cry. It was the only tear that fell from my eye, and that was all.

"I'm sorry," I said awkwardly to her and she gave me her sweetest smile. A genuine smile. A comforting smile.

"It's okay," she said to me, her smile never leaving her lips.

My eyes wandered to the other side of the room, where he sat. Mark Lee. My childhood nemesis. My teenage crush. I felt pathetic for crying in front of him. But he didn't seem to mind. But the look of pity in his eyes was sickening. I didn't need that.

"Why don't you and Mark go outside for a bit, you should get some fresh air, honey."