Guilty Pleasure

Alex

I ended my cycle two days ago and I am so horny. This always seems to happen either before my cycle or after my cycle. I for one have never been a big fan of sex and Alex has been my only sexual partner and we usually have sex whenever he wants to which is almost always.
The thought of pleasuring myself however had never settled well with me, I was always scared that I might end up being caught or something so I decided to text Alex quickly to hint at the fact that I may or may not want to have sex.
Alex and I have been in a six-year relationship and it feels like we're stagnant or we want completely different things. I mean wanting different things is not a bad thing since we're different people but we are very much not on the same page.
Hey babe, I just finished my shift. Going for a shower so that I can get all cleaned up for you later. Let me know when you're on your way. I waited patiently for his reply, as a pool was building between my thighs and I had the need to cum hard and fast. Sex with Alex was ordinary, not that I have much to compare it to but yeah, I usually cum once in the process when I am penetrated and I get bored when he uses his tongue but come on it scratches an itch after all.
Two hours had gone by and Alex still had not replied to my message. Maybe he was busy at the shop I said to myself, Summer is coming up and every event planner is busy out there getting persons to design and print flyers and posters so Alex had a shit ton of work to do.
I took my shower while scream-singing The Girl Boss by Nicki Minaj at the top of my lungs. When I pulled out my panty draw I saw my emerald green lacy lingerie eyeing me down, I squealed as the thought crossed my mind that I should wear this and lay sprawled on the bed waiting patiently for Alex. Alex had a key to my apartment so this was going to be fun. I slipped in the lingerie and sprayed myself with his favorite scent because if there was one thing I adored it was the look on this man's face whenever he saw me. This is why I was certain that the problem was me and not Alex. Alex was so captivated by me and he did not shy away to express how much he yearned to have me so why is it that I could not allow myself to cum easily for him. Why did I have to fake my orgasms to make him feel good and satisfied?