at some point during Mattia's and Alejandro's "relationships" Mattia hated Alejandro, which circled back on hating himself.
he had a reason, a dumb one to hate the person he'd come to love. alejandro made him a certain way his father had told him he could never be. in his mind, despite knowing it was the result of his father abuse, being gay was wrong. something to be ashamed. mattia knew it wasn't like that, yet old habits die hard.
which resulted on him hating alejandro, who was the boy that made him feel love for someone of his same sex. he knew it dead on his mind, alejandro was gonna be the one and only in his life.
yet him hating the person he loved, resulted on hating himself. he shouldn't hate him for giving him the love he needed. he shouldn't hate himself for feeling comfortable with his boyfriend instead of a girlfriend. he shouldn't hate himself for allowing himself to feel good. he shouldn't hate alejandro for making his days brighter.
yet, it was imposible for him not to. it was a toxic circle within himself. it was something he had to learn how to live with.
YOU ARE READING
𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧
Любовные романы"Please, don't leave me alone" Scared to be with a person, scared that they will leave him again. But that changes when he leaves his selfishness aside, or did he? A Malejandro book turned oneshot.
