Elmax, and their never ending story:)

Happy island

Billy's Pov:

The house fell silent after Max slammed the front door shut. Even El stopped talking. I expected her to continue yelling at me after Max was out of the way, but I guess not. I looked up at her from the ground, but she wasn't looking at me. Instead she sat down beside me, tucking her knees to her chest and looking nowhere. She still kept a safe distance from me, despite staying in the same room.

I was intrigued by her action. She was clearly deep in thought, given her empty eyes. She seemed absent in the real world, like she wasn't fully here.

I cleared my throat before thinking of something to say, stuttering a few times before letting out a long sigh.

"She had a panic attack." I say sadly.

Her eyes immediately caught focus. If she was a dog, I'm sure her ears would have flew upwards to show she was interested in what she just heard.

"I've seen her have them before." I add. I looked over at her, only to see she hadn't moved a muscle. But now, her eyes seemed sad. Filled with sorrow. A sorrow you feel after you find out the truth about someone's suffering, and feel guilty about not being able to stop it.

"So have I." My eyes grow slightly, before sinking with compassion.

"It's not a pretty sight." I say before also bringing my knees up to my chest and placing my crossed arms on top. "I don't even know how to stop them... I've seen her have seven."

"Seven?" She asks with surprise, looking over at me.

"Yep." I say. "She had one after I broke her skateboard." I explain with embarrassment. "One every time she saw Neil hit her mom; which was twice. One as Neil was Beating me up" I continue, counting every incident on my fingers. "And the others are after she comes home late. Which happened three times so far." I say, looking over at the brunette as if what I just said was a normal, everyday thing. She looked at me with confused eyes.

"Why?"

"Why what? Why does she come home late?"

"No, why does she have a panic attack after she comes home late?" She elaborates.

I rest my head against the wall, letting out a slow breath.

"Neil... scares her. She sees what he does, and she's aware of what he could do to her. And what he already does to her..."

"What does he do?" The girl asked with a worried frown.

"Not much yet. To he honest, she's more scared of me that she is of him. But that will change soon. He's capable of much more than me." I say with a low voice. "He usually... based off of what I've seen, he picks her up by her shirt and slams her against a door, or a wall, or whatever he can find. He's slapped her a few times in the past. But that's nothing compared to what he can do. He's much stronger than he shows. He's hurt me in ways you can't imagine. And... a-and I'm scared of what he's gonna do to her when I'm gone. I'm older than her, and I'm stronger than her, I can take the hits. But Neil won't hold back, he will treat her just like how he treats me if not worse, and I'm scared, El. I'm scared of how she's gonna handle it, if she can handle it. I-I mean, there's only so much I can do after I move out. I've tried to do something, to stop him from hurting her, from hurting me, but he's completely broken me! He's traumatised me! He melted my brain and rebuilt it in a design that he's happy with, and I can't stop shit now! I'm fucking weak! I'm a pussy, and a good for nothing piece of shit!" I ramble, quickly breaking down into tears.

I've been holding this in for so goddamn long. And, most of what I say and think about myself is what my father has told me. His words, constantly playing on repeat in my brain, always reminding me of what a disappointment I am to everyone. His stupid philosophy has built me into this dick! His stupid face watching my every move! His stupid voice haunting me in my nightmares! His stupid hands choking me whenever I show even a drop of emotion which could make me vulnerable! Fuck him! Fuck him, and his stupid fists, which take away every sign of life from everything he touches! Every piece of myself I used to have as a child was taken away by that piece of shit and turned to dust! And I'm too fucking weak to stand up for myself! Fuck him! Fuck him for ruining me! Fuck him for hurting Max! And fuck him to hurting my mom and Max's mom too! FUCK HIM!