One last time

Mourning.

Katsuki walked up to the podium, Inko and Mistuki stood at his sides. Today was the funeral. He glanced over at the black coffin his friend's motionless body lay in. He felt a pang in his chest and stomach, that feeling you get when something actually hurts your heart.

He took a breath, "When you lose someone, you try to remember the last time you were together. The last time you saw them. And most of the time, it's a blurry memory, because at that time you had no idea it would be the last." He started, thinking about how he'd kept ignoring Izuku, barely spending much time with him over the last few months. "When you realize that the last time you spent with them would only be a foggy and forgotten memory, all you can do in accept it." He didn't accept it. He didn't want to. He couldn't.

"I knew Izuku my whole life." The name rolled off his tongue so smoothly. He rarely ever said it in reality, only thought the name in his mind. "I knew that being with him at all times was what I wanted. When I finally got that chance, I blew it." He admitted, he felt his parents' gazes, Inko's gaze, the gaze of confusion, curiosity. "I-" He cleared his throat, choking back tears as he held tightly onto his mother and aunt's hands. "I started to grow distant with him." Mitsuki stared at her son, she has a dazed look in her eyes.

"I want nothing more than to go back and tell him I'm sorry." He let out a sob, lowering his head in shame. "I want nothing more to tell him; 'hell yeah, I'll come over.' and cancel all of my plans." He felt Eijirou's gaze. "I want to go back to before high school started and tell him that if he ever felt distant to punch me in the face and take me to hang out with him." He gave a weak laugh, hearing a low chuckle from his father.

"I wanna go back, I wanna go back and walk him back to school from his mother's house." His grip on Inko tightened, she moved to hug his arm. She never blamed him for this.

"I want Izuku back." He cried, his body shaking as his legs gave out on him and he had to lean over the podium for support. He could hear everything so well. The quiet cries of his teacher, Aizawa. "Izuku always admired our teachers. Especially Aizawa. He would tell me that he wanted to grow his hair out to look like him... I told him it'd look ugly on him." Katsuki laughed to himself, giving Shouta a small glance. The man was crouched on the floor, head in his hands.

He turned to see Izuku's friends, Ochako, Shouto, Tenya, Tsuyu, and Yuuga Aoyama. He sniffled. "And you guys..." He said weakly, pointing at the crying friend group. "He always bragged about how awesome you were. He'd told me he wanted to stay away from you at first, not wanting me to be lonely but..." Katsuki bit his lip, he felt so lonely. "But you guys pushed yourselves into his life. He seemed happier, more outgoing. I liked it a lot. He loved you guys so much, he rarely shut up about you. It got a little annoying hearing about how pink cheeks kept burning her ramen when she cooked." Ochako flipped him off, giving a wobbly smile. 

Katsuki looked up at the crowd of people, everyone Izuku knew was there, teacher's he's had since preschool, his friends, the guy who paid for his groceries one time, the waiter her favorited at the coffee shop he visited regularly, everyone he loved. "He loved all of you so much." Katsuki said, his voice sounded so broken. He stepped back, a wave of grief pulling him onto the ground, the two women fell to his sides, his father rushing to the three of them quickly.

"I'm sorry!" He cried, "I'm so sorry! I couldn't keep my promise! I'm sorry mom, I'm sorry!" The broken boy cried and cried, it's all he could bring himself to do. His mother held him tight, telling him it was okay. Telling him that it was gonna be okay.

She says that, knowing that it won't be okay for a long while. Everyone cried. Everyone mourned. The atmosphere around the entire funeral home could break a heart. It was horrible. So horrible. But it was going to get better. A warmth would fill the room, calming the sobs into tearful coughs and hiccups. A painfully familiar warmth would wrap around every person in the room, bringing their tears to a temporary stop before they started again when it left. When he left. Izuku. When Izuku left.

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I cried writing this LMAO.

Very sorry.

I started and finished this today lol.