"that is- horrible. What is wrong with you?! They say you're the prodigy, I don't see where. You literally can't do THAT simple step??" The dance coach yelled. Wobbling slightly she muttered a sorry.
"That wouldn't work. I don't care if you're tired. You keep practicing, i don't care how long, you do it! And I better see you dance perfectly tomorrow!" The coach yelled before leaving her alone in the room.
It felt like last year all over again.
Chaerin fell to the ground, laying on her back, staring at the round lights of the large practice room. Tears sprung up to her eyes.
Would it have been better if she was just a normal person? Just being a school student and living a normal life. What did being an idol bring to her? Constant hate, everyone picking on her everything, a hard life? Nothing is normal. And now a pandemic keeping her away from one thing she loved, performing live infront of everyone.
A tear slipped down the sides of her cheek, a sob bubbling up in her throat.
There you, crying again. No no no, don't you dare fucking cry, it's your fault anyway, what would crying bring. Get up! Practice, get up!
Shutting her eyes tightly Chaerin screamed, she screamed so loud she knew her throat will hurt Tommorow, she knew the consequences, she knew what she felt but she didn't know how- or what- or....she just didn't.
The noise cancellation effect of the room kept her desperate scream within the room to echo on every wall and rush back to her own ear, reminding her of how much of a horrible person she is.
I hate myself.
+++
Felix stared at the contact name of his girlfriend with a frown. Texts left unread, calls missed and meeting? That's a far fetched thought. He knew she was busy but he still felt his hurt clench. Somewhere, he felt a tug, a tug asking to get released, as if it wants to fade away. No no, he won't let it, he'd hold onto it. He has never so desperately loved someone. She was like a ball of sunshine in his life, the only reason to look forward to tiring nights. No one has ever made his heart pump so merrily as she did. It was hard for him to even think about it. Somewhere he doubted that the feeling was reciprocated. Yes she liked him a lot, she cares for him and has given him her heart but she cares for everyone and gives her heart to everyone. She wasn't in love with him, he knew it somewhere. But she never said it.
"Yo." Felix looked up to see the blonde girl raise her eyebrow at him. "Instead of sulking, why don't you just ask one of the tubatu boys to see if she's free and visit her." Rachel deadpanned, kicking the boy's sides lightly before dropping beside him.
"I just.....I don't think she is ever free anyway." Felix chuckled bitterly.
"It's not her fault, yonbok."
"It's not, I know. And you're a horrible bestfriend. Why are you protecting her so bad??" Felix laughed slightly.
"It's Ahn Chaerin. Our marshmallow. How can I not?" Rachel said seriously causing them both to giggle in agreement.
---
Her body was aching. She wanted to jump into her mother's arms or hug her brother or get ice-cream with Lin-yi. The ors were endless but it all fell apart as she saw the door locked and mails in the mail box.
They left.
She walked back to car, ushering the driver to take her back to the dorm. Checking her phone she sighed seeing multiple unread messages. Tiredly, she clicked through them, while replying to some.
YOU ARE READING
GOTTA GO- SOLOIST BOOK 2 (ON HIATUS)
Fanfic"Never knew it would lead to this" Where Andrea walks through different stages of life through the k-pop world and outside, and discovers herself. "You need to know the history to prevent it from repeating......I.... didn't even know myself." A SEQ...
