In My Head ; jenlisa ff G!P {COMPLETED}

23

March 20, 2024

I feel fine.

As you know, my doctors made a decision to keep me on the drug for the time being, but to taper it off gradually. We won't be increasing the dosage or changing the medication, which is a relief. None of the really harmful side effects have manifested, and the blood tests are still inconclusive, so my mom insists that I stay on it until something else can be arranged. Not sure how familiar you are with the nasty side effects of coming off a drug you've gotten used to, but that is also a lovely spilled bucket of diarrhea.

The other doctors have mandated weekly blood and urine tests for now, but that's hardly difficult. They probably talk to you a lot, too.

One nice thing about you, Doc. You never make me pee in a cup. That's why you're my favorite.

Oh yeah, it's a blast being Jesus. Our last Stations of the Cross practice is next week. I think I've mastered the role.

I bow my head when Pontius Pilate washes his hands of my death. I let the girl playing Veronica put a cloth against my face to leave an imprint with my blood. I let two Roman soldiers nail me to a cross without screaming (because it was determined in years past that a screaming Jesus being nailed to a cross is really quite distressing to watch). Then I die with dignity after another soldier pokes me with a spear and proclaims that I truly am the Son of God, sort of like the way an old lady pokes meat at the grocery store and asks Is this fresh?

Jisoo, as the narrator, leads the church in prayer, and I rise from the dead. So yeah, I'm ready to be Jesus. It's nice to have a distraction from the baby.

Marco is really overwhelmed with all the baby preparations. If I had to describe him, I'd say he looks a lot like a crumpled umbrella. When he leaves for work in the morning, he already looks defeated, but he also looks kind of relieved to be getting out of the house. My mom has been making him go to a bunch of classes. Lamaze. Baby first aid. Breastfeeding.

It's been a while since my mom had a baby. Obviously.

Actually, I don't think she ever thought she'd be in this position again. She thought it was going to be just me. But now that she's "with child," her friends from work and book club are throwing her a baby shower. They are handling the games, the decorations, the invitations, and everything cutesy.

I'm in charge of the desserts. Cream puffs with pink and blue filling. Tiny baby-bottle cookies. Layered carrot cake, because it's my mom's favorite. And a vast assortment of cupcakes.

Our house has become a shrine to tiny, ridiculous things. Gifts have started pouring in even though the party is still a few weeks off.

Since my mom refuses to learn the sex of the baby, everything is yellow—the color for parents who wish their babies to be sexually ambiguous and confusing for people who look anxiously into strollers expecting to know immediately what they're looking at.

It's amazing because now that we don't live in the Middle Ages, I think it would probably be a good idea to take advantage of the scientific advantages available to us. But when the doctor asked if they wanted to know the sex, my mom said that they wanted to be surprised.

Marco actually does not want to be surprised. I know for a fact that it is killing him not to know. The man lays out his clothes the night before work and folds everything in an obsessively neat pile. He wants to have a plan of action for everything, but he didn't fight my mom on this because he's suddenly become a weenie. She's become even more powerful with the pregnancy because almost everything makes her cry, and Marco can't handle that. He'd rather give her anything she wants than watch her get upset, which means they are going to have some serious discipline problems as it is with this kid.