Madam Yan's Matchmaking Pavilion for Men

34 No Need to Be Shy, A Clandestine Love Affair

Yu Huang Rong and Zhang Shi Lan continued to sit in the small bamboo grove, enjoying each other's warmth, only occasionally speaking up when something caught their attention. In that way, the rest of the afternoon went by and the sun went down.

Zhang Shi Lan sighed, sitting up straight on Yu Huang Rong's lap and looking at him. "I'm afraid we'll have to separate now. Otherwise, we'll really draw attention."

Yu Huang Rong gave a lazy hum. He knew that Zhang Shi Lan was right but he didn't like it at all. If he could, he'd like to stay like this forever. Unfortunately ... He also sighed and let go of the scholar's waist. "We should get up before the servants come and look for us. If somebody asks, let's just say we were talking and forgot about the time. I'm sure a scholar like you would have a lot to say."

Zhang Shi Lan loved. "I'm sure General Yu would also have a lot to say. Aren't there many stories of your time in the war you could tell me?"

Yu Huang Rong thought of the advice that Luan Xin and the captain of the secret guards had given him. "Well, I guess I wouldn't mind telling you. It's just that ... I'm feeling a bit depressed thinking about it. I guess I don't want to burden you with that?"

Zhang Shi Lan cupped his cheeks and leaned down again, kissing his forehead. "Whether you're feeling happy or sad, I'll always be there to listen to you. So don't think about if it might upset me. If it is important to you, then I'd like to know."

Yu Huang Rong looked up at Zhang Shi Lan in a daze. "Shi Lan, what happened to the person that was shyly looking the other way whenever I spoke up in your company? How come you're suddenly so ..."

Zhang Shi Lan blushed and indeed looked away, reverting to his old behavior.

Yu Huang Rong laughed and got up, pulling him back into his arms. "Don't do that! It stunned me just now but I'm very happy. If I could, I'd make you do that kind of thing all the time." He also leaned down and pecked Zhang Shi Lan's cheek.

Zhang Shi Lan pushed the General's hand off his hips and stepped back. "General Yu, how can you do that? If somebody saw us ..." He shook his head and turned around, walking down the path leading through the bamboo grove. When he heard Yu Huang Rong follow behind, he spoke up again. "Being shy with you ... It's not that I wouldn't dare at all.

"Yu Huang Rong, as a man of the military you might look down on a scholar like me. You might think that I'm frail and not much better than a woman but I'm also a man. Being shy when I'm secretly in love with you ... It is something forbidden and something that I fear you might find burdensome if you ever find out, so naturally, I haven't shown it. But since we've cleared this up and I confessed that you like you, why should I still hold back? If I did, then wouldn't I lose out?"

Yu Huang Rong gave a gentle smile. "You would certainly look lose out. But ... I don't look down on you. You chose another way of life. I also think that scholars are very important. There was no way I would have wanted to go it but I come from a military family anyway.

"My father and grandfather were both important figures in the war. If I had said that I wanted to become a scholar, they would have beaten me up until I said that I want to go to the military. It's different for you. Your father is a minister. You started to learn these things from early on and you were probably interested in it too. So what's wrong with that? It's merely ... a different choice. Nothing better or worse about it."

Zhang Shi Lan nodded. "It's good if you see it that way." He didn't know what else to say and the two of them once again fell quiet.

Zhang Shi Lan couldn't help but glance at the General. Even though he didn't feel shy anymore now that they had confessed their feelings and even spent this afternoon together in proximity, he still didn't know how to treat him. This afternoon, it had been easy. Whatever crossed his mind, it was enough. With their bodies so close together, that was also a way to spend time. Basking in that feeling of finally acquiring the person they loved, that was something they could enjoy together. But now when walking down the road, not knowing whether somebody was around that might overhear the conversation and with the light dwindling, it was hard to say. Just what should they do?