Madam Yan's Matchmaking Pavilion for Men

59 An Open Book, Very Good Friends

Yu Huang Rong and Zhang Shi Lan left the venue after the essay was finished. The scholar didn't talk and Yu Huang Rong couldn't help but look over and examine his expression.

Before they met at the matchmaking pavilion, he had often thought about this face but they hadn't known each other well. The few expressions he had seen on Zhang Shi Lan's face could've been counted on both hands: There was the thoughtful expression he had made back when he took part in that poetry competition, the happy smile he showed when talking to like-minded scholars, the shy and slightly embarrassed face he made when the two of them had first met at the banks of the Fen Hua River, a rather neutral expression that was used in everyday situations, and a gentle one that was reserved for when he dealt with children or small animals that needed a lot of patience to talk to.

These are the kinds of expressions Yu Huang Rong had often fantasized about while he was at the border. He had wondered how Zhang Shi Lan would look at him if they really became a couple one day, how we would look on their wedding day, how he would watch him with those gentle eyes should he ever fall sick, how that shyness would creep into his gaze when they talked while lying in bed together.

There had been all sorts of things that he thought of in those dark moments. In the end, those were all just fantasies though. He also knew that but he could only imagine what he knew, so since he had never seen Zhang Shi Lan showing an unpleasant expression, he really hadn't been able to imagine that. He had actually never wondered how this person he loved would look if he ever cried or was dissatisfied with something. Now, he felt that he knew though.

Zhang Shi Lan had been dissatisfied when he talked so intimately about his relationship with Luan Xin, he had shown a hesitant expression when they were working together in the matchmaking pavilion, he had obviously been worried when talking about the future and all the things that could go wrong. And right now, what he showed was an expression that hovered somewhere between being sad and resigned. His lips that were normally curved in a gentle smile, had turned into a straight line, the lower lip slightly pursed. His brows imperceptibly knitted together and his gaze was kept on the ground. Slightly thoughtful, slightly regretful. There seemed to be some things going through his mind that weren't to his liking.

Yu Huang Rong furrowed his own brows and finally reached out, taking his hand. "Are you angry?"

Zhang Shi Lan looked up, his expression shifting into one of surprise. "What? Angry?"

Yu Huang Rong hesitated but then nodded. "I watched you during the competition. You were writing a lot and then finally, you looked like you were dissatisfied somehow. You've been looking like that since then. Are you ... angry that Luan Xin chose such a topic? Do you feel that he made fun of the scholars or something?"

Zhang Shi Lan took a long look at Yu Huang Rong's face, wondering if he should scold him again for using the emperor's name so casually. In the end, he only sighed and tugged at his lover's hand, making him follow him to the edge of a small lake.

The two of them sat down, their hands still joined and looked out at the surface that was shimmering in the light of the afternoon sun.

"I'm not angry." Zhang Shi Lan leaned back and looked at his lover, his lips curving up although it wasn't the same smile as usual. There was a bit of melancholy in there. "I don't think he was making fun of the scholars either. In fact, I think the topic His Majesty chose was quite good. It was ... unexpected but that does have its benefits."

Yu Huang Rong raised his brows. "Aren't you too easy-going? The other scholars looked like they had swallowed a fly. And you're really saying it's a good topic?"

Zhang Shi Lan laughed. "I can understand why they thought like that. They studied for many years and now that His Majesty has shown interest in the competition, they probably hoped that he would take a look at what they wrote. Then he'd see what they had to say about the topics that would be able to change the situation of our Chen country and might take notice of them, granting them a position at court or at another important place. They also might have thought that they would be able to have a big influence on things. They wanted to show off what they were best at, hoping for topics they knew a lot about. But then this happens. It's understandable they reacted like that."