Carry On The Will ( luffy x oc female )

chapter 18

next day i woke up a little late in the morning. after that dream i couldnt sleep. till quite early in the morning but before the sunrise my eyes finally got drowsy. when I woke up it was already time for Rose to wake up too. i freshened her up and I myself did so too. still thinking of that dream I walked to the dining room for breakfast with Rose.

" oh Jules channnnn Rose chan good morning, i have your special breakfast ready." Sanji said when he saw us enter and sit at the table. i made Rose sit on my lap as i thanked Sanji when he placed our breakfast on the table. 

" i see you woke up late today jules chan. and you look quite tired. but you are still just as gorgeous as ever." sanji said going back to the kitchen. " thank you sanji kun. i just couldn't sleep at night so i am a little tired." i said as i fed Rose her food.

she usually ate by herself, but sometimes i liked feeding her , and ofcourse she enjoyed the pampering. " hu...what is it jules chan the didt let you have a peaceful sleep at night.....what dared to ruin your beauty sleep." sanji said rushing out of the kitchen with a determined look. ready to kick whoever or whatever my problem was. 

i couldn't help but let out a small laugh. " its nothing sanji kun. don't worry." i said calmly, focusing back on feeding Rose. " if you say so Jules chan, but if you ever need any help you can always come to me, as i * bowing down* am at your service 24/7" i clucked and nodded. with that he went back to the kitchen and i to my and Rose's breakfast.

as i fed her and ate myself, i kept on thinking about that dream. as it played in my mind again and again i shivered. the dreadful feeling of being alone was terrifying. i don't want to experience that anymore. loneliness ruins you so so much that after a point you just wish to die. how cold it feels when no one is around you when no one is with you. 

its not about being among a lot of people. its about knowing and feeling at even if not many at least one person is there with you. always there to comfort you and listen to you. even if not physically present sometimes that person or those people leave off a feeling of safety. even if that person or those people are not physically there you know they exist, that they are somewhere out there and once you meet them everything will be all right.

and i feel it here. i have unknowingly craved it for last 2 years, but i feel it now. not strong enough but still enough to give me hope. all i know is if i join this crew, I'll never be alone again. the dark and suffocating feeling of loneliness will never come near me again. 

and the more i think about Rose. if the crew agrees to work this out, this ship might turn out to be the safest place for Rose. in any other condition it would be safe to raise a kid on the land but in my case, the strawhat pirates's ship, the thousand sunny is the safest place for her and me. 

" mumma, food finish." suddenly Rose said making me startle and get out of my trance. i look down and realise her food was finished and i was feeding her nothing. i looked at Rose and smiled sheepishly. " heh, i guess i was a little distracted. thank you for telling me little devil." i said tickling her a little. she giggled and i let her down so she can go and play while i finish my food.

_________

its evening now and everyone is gathered in the dining room. i had missed everyone at lunch as well cause chopper was changing my bandages. he was quite surprised by my recovery. it was nothing new to me as i knew i had healing abilities. he was shocked for a minute but had stars in his eyes with excitement as he found it cool.

he kept on asking me questions about my healing abilities and i answered. i had had them since childhood. i could heal any wound leaving no scar behind. that's why even after being a pirate my whole life i don't have a single scar on my body.

so anyway, here i am in the dining room now having my dinner. it is a huge chaos as usual. luffy stealing food from everyone but Rose now. according to Chopper i am completely healthy now except for my wounds so Luffy now stole food from me too. 

as i saw everyone had almost finished eating i decided this is the right time. clearing my throat i looked at luffy. " ummm luffy?" i said. more like asked gaining his attention as well as everyone else as well. " i.....i wanted to ask you.....some... something." i said getting more and more nervous with every sentence i spoke. will he let me do this. i said no first. what if he takes back the offer? i thought but sighed to shove them all away and just ask what i want to.

" whas is id duls." luffy said his mouth stuffed with food and cheeks looking like that of a squirrel. " swallow your food first." nami growled hitting luffy in the head. " sowwy nami." luffy said and then gulped his food and looked at me grinning. " what is it jules." he asked. 

" well...the thing is, i wondered....if your.....your offer is still.....still on the table." i asked looking everywhere but at him. too nervous to see his reaction. " hu what is on the table?" he questioned tilting his head in confusion. Everyone at the table sweatdropped. they all just sighed defeated. 

" baka, she means if your offer to join the crew is still there or you don't what it anymore." Sanji said taking a seat as he just came back from keeping his plate in the sink. 

" oh of course its always there. but you don't want to join right?" Luffy asked biting on his last piece of meat. 

" about that. i.....i will consider it but i need to ask you all something." i looked up at everyone as they all had a curious look on their faces. " what is it jules cahn." robin asked calmly.