Since the Day We Met

Nineteen

Jennifer's POV

Today marked the day HongJoong would depart for his tour with Ateez. The thought of being separated from him weighed heavily on my heart, especially considering the recent joy of spending Christmas together. The emotions were overwhelming, and I feared the uncertainty of how I would cope with his absence.As I stared out of the living room window, watching HongJoong load his bags into the car, I could feel a deep pain gnawing at my gut. 

This wasn't the first time we'd been separated due to his tours, but this time felt different – more emotional and more challenging. I swallowed hard, trying to push away the tears threatening to fall from my eyes.I remember how HongJoong had held me close last night, whispering comforting words into my ear. 

"I promise I will call you every day," he had said, his voice soft and gentle. I knew he meant it; and while that brought me some solace, it did little to mend the gaping hole his absence would leave in my life.Sighing heavily, I turned away from the window for a moment and gazed at our home – our sanctuary we've built together. HongJoong's laugh echoed in my mind as I reminisced about the evening before. 

Our love was so strong back then it felt invincible; but now, faced with the harsh reality of distance and separation, those recollections only amplified my sense of loss.Determined not to breakdown completely before he left, I picked myself up - both literally and metaphorically - took a deep breath and walked towards HongJoong who was waiting by the car. He looked back with concern etched across his face.

"I'm okay," I reassured him with a weak smile. My voice wavered slightly, betraying the emotional turmoil that I was weathering inside.HongJoong stepped forward, wrapping me in his arms and engulfing me with his warmth and familiar scent. We stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity, seeking solace in each other's arms and drawing strength from our love.

 "You know I love you more than anything," HongJoong whispered, his breath warm against my ear. "And I'll be back before you know it." I nodded, trying to keep my emotions in check as the urge to cry threatened to overwhelm me. With a final squeeze of our intertwined hands, HongJoong released me from his embrace. Harper stood beside me crying watchign him leave, it had taken a few minutes to pry her off of him before he had climbed into the car. As I watched him drive away, I felt a knot forming in my chest and a profound loneliness enveloped me. But instead of succumbing to despair, I chose to draw from the love we had for each other and allowed it to empower me.

As day turned into night, I found solace in our home – the tiny mementos of our life together scattered throughout the rooms. I could sense HongJoong's presence in every corner, and while that certainly didn't replace his physical absence, it was enough to remind me of the very reason we were enduring this separation: our unwavering love and commitment to one another.Music was always an essential part of our relationship; after all, it was through HongJoong's concerts that we first met. 

That evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon painting the sky with brilliant hues of orange and pink, I decided to continue an old tradition – enjoying a nightly dance in our living room. Alone this time, with only memories for company.I scrolled through our shared Spotify playlist searching for a song that spoke directly to my heart. As soon as it started playing, I let the familiar melodies wash over me like soothing waves of comfort.

 Gracefully swaying through the dimly lit room, it felt like HongJoong was there with me - dance partners moving as one.Almost an hour had passed when suddenly, my phone rang interrupting my impromptu dance session. Glancing down at the screen, my heart leaped with joy seeing HongJoong's name flashing.

"Hey," I said with a smile, trying my best to keep my voice steady.

"Hey love," HongJoong responded, his voice slightly muffled by the phone. "We just finished our first concert and I miss you so much already."

"I miss you too. How did it go?"He hesitated for a a moment before answering, "It went really well. There were so many fans and the energy was incredible. But of course, it wasn't the same without you there."

"I wish I could have been there too," I replied, feeling a pang of jealousy as I pictured the adoring crowd enjoying the concert without me.

"I know," he sighed. "But I want you to remember that no matter where I am or how far away we might be, my heart is always with you.

"I melted at his words and felt the love radiating from the phone. There was something magical about our connection, transcending any distance.

"Yeah, same for me," I said softly, my voice trembling. 

"I've been dancing tonight – in our living room, trying to capture that feeling of when we're together."A surprised laughter came from HongJoong's end of the line.

 "That's actually really sweet and makes me miss home even more," he chuckled.We continued to chat about his concert and how the other Ateez members were doing. Despite the exhaustion in his voice, he still managed to make me laugh – a true testament to our bond and unshakable love.

As we talked through everything from funny backstage stories to future plans for when he returned home, tears began streaming down my face; not from sadness alone but also from gratitude for the love we shared. I knew not everyone could experience an all-consuming love like ours; it was rare and precious.

Eventually, we said our goodbyes – each word weighed heavy with emotion. HongJoong promised he would call again tomorrow after their next show.

After hanging up, I hugged my phone tightly against my chest, as though it could somehow bring him closer. Sleep soon washed over me in tender waves, carrying me into dreams where we were together once again.

The next day brought forth a mix of emotions – a mixture of longing and determination, as I resolved to make the best out of the time apart. I threw myself into the daily routines of life, cherishing every moment HongJoong and I got to spend on the phone or through video calls.

 There were times when my emotions would run wild, tears falling unbidden even at mundane triggers like HongJoong's favorite snack sitting in the pantry or a song that played on the radio. But I refused to drown in self-pity. Instead, I picked myself up and carried on, focusing on what needed to be done and making plans to fill the empty hours with activities that would help me grow as a person. In the mornings, I would start my day with a workout, pushing myself to new limits as I remembered how proud HongJoong would be of my progress. 

The endorphins released during vigorous exercise helped keep my spirits up, ready to face whatever challenges the day had in store. Some days, I channeled my creative energies into painting – an old hobby that had fallen by the wayside since moving in together. Sitting at an easel overlooking the peaceful garden, I found momentary solace in each brushstroke, creating colorful images inspired by our memories and dreams for the future.

Harper took solace in me caring for her more than before although she missed HongJoong more than anything right now. When it was time for her afternoon nap, I would find solace reading through HongJoong's letters he'd sent me from when we first begun dating - cradling each lovingly worn page and letting it transport me back to those early days of boundless affection and infatuation.

Evenings were when my resolve was tested most severely. The sinking sun would cast a somber hue over our vacant home; shadows growing long on the floors where we once danced merrily together. As dusk descended into darkness, there was no avoiding the crushing feeling that tonight - like so many nights before - I'd be facing another night without him beside me.

I sought comfort in friends, inviting them over for dinners where laughter permeated the air – a reminder that I wasn't alone in this world despite his temporary absence. Distracted by silly games and good-natured banter, it was easier to forget the dull ache in my chest.

Harper would watch the door, expectantly waiting for HongJoong's arrival every evening without fail, a bittersweet sight that embodied the yearning we all felt. I'd cradle her, promising that he'd be home soon while I too was breaking on the inside.