Behind the Lense with One Direction

Chapter 13

[A/N] *Warning* This chapter has kinda, not really sexual stuff in it, its not too much but I just wanted to let you guys know. I just want to thank you all for reading my fanfic (: you guys are awesome. Please tell me what you think and what would you like to see and of course if you like it vote (: <3, Maggie

*Maggie’s P.O.V.*

I waited; I waited for him to walk in the door. I waited for him to take me away, to it away. I was nervous, I wanted to be intimate with Niall, because I knew he would get bored of me if we weren’t intimate, but I was scared. I heard his car outside, and then I heard footsteps outside my door. I was really nervous now, my heart was pounding against my chest and my palms were clammy. I had to do this, he had said those three words. It was my duty to give my body to him. The door opened and the cold air swept in the door. He walked in and smiled at my sight.

“Hi Princess” he said with a shy smile. My heart stopped. He stood there in front of me, the man I loved. His blonde hair was up in a quaff, his brown roots showing, his smile wide and as lovely as ever, his blue eyes were shining. I walked towards him slowly and saw him smile once more. He reached for me and pulled me in close to his body. My breath was quick now. Our faces were so close. I reached for his cheek, his eyes staring right into me. This was it.

“I love you” I said in a whisper. My heart was racing and I could feel his was too.

“I love you too: he responded, flashing his beautiful smile. I smiled back; I knew I had to do it now, before I chickened out. He leaned down and kissed me, a kiss that sent electricity up and down my body, a soft, sweet kiss. As I pulled away I saw his lips turn upward. I wanted more.

“Niall, make love to me” I whispered in his ear. His eyes shot wide open, and his arms because tighter around my waist. I took his hand and lead him to my bedroom.

“A-are you sure you want to do this?” He asked nervously in his beautiful Irish accent. I nodded and turned around to face him again. I put my arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. I ran my fingers through the back of his hair and pulled a little. His arms were around my waist again and his hands on my back. I was nervous but I knew he would make it all better. I pulled from his lips and started kissing his neck. My hands went down to his button up shirt and started unbuttoning it. I hear deep groans coming from his throat as I kiss his collar bone gently. I pressed my lips against his once more. His shirt was off now and my hands were running up and down his abs. Why wasn’t he undressing me? Did he not want to see me? Then he stopped, he pushed me away.

“What's wrong? I asked confused.

“I-I can’t do this, I can’t do this to you” he answered, his face sad and ashamed. Why? Why couldn’t he take me? Was it because I wasn’t perfect like the other girls he had dated before? Because I wasn’t beautiful like them?

“Why?” I asked, I could feel the tears swelling up inside my eyes.

“No, don’t be upset” he said grabbing my face and rubbing his thumb on my cheek “Maggie, I want to, you don’t know how bad I want to have you, every time you touch me, every time I’m with you all I want to do is have you” he went on.

“Then why not?” I asked again more confused than ever.

“Because I don’t want our relationship to be based on sex, I want it to be based on love, I love you and I don’t want you to owe me anything for loving you, I just want you to love me back” he answered with a warm smile. His words brought a huge smile to my face. I nodded silently and kissed him on the cheek.

“Ok, well can you give me some time, I have to fix my little problem” he said pointing at his crotch; I laughed at what I had done. I forgot what girls could do to a man. I walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I walked towards the mirror and looked at myself. My interest moved right to my stomach. It wasn’t flat. I lifted up my shirt and looked more closely. I wasn’t happy with it. I tried making it look smaller, but it just hurt. I was angry with myself. Maggie why can’t you be skinny? I looked at my arms, my legs, and my face. I looked away; it’s not what I wanted to see. I pulled out the scale from under my sink. I was scared to get on it. I stared at it, I just stared. I finally got the courage and stepped onto the cold surface of the scale. I waited until it figured out my weight.  It stopped, the three number popped on the screen: 190. 190 pound. 190 nasty pounds. How? My eyes watered and tears rolled down my eyes. I bet Niall didn’t even weigh that much. That it Maggie, you're going on a diet,but diets never work… No! You are not going to there either, you will not have an eating disorder I was having an argument with myself.

“Are you ok in there?” I heard Niall outside the door. He snapped me out of my thought.

“Yeah I'm fine” I cleared the tears off my face and put the scale away “I'm fine” I repeated as I opened the bathroom door and flashed a smile.

“Wanna get something to eat?” he asked grabbing his stomach.

“Yeah sure” I accepted his invitation.

But those thought still roamed my mind.