1+1 [slow updates]

5: empty

new chapter loves! thanks for sticking around.

***

I tiptoe down the stairs, trying not to trip. I need to just sneak down and grab a snack. Then I can return to hibernating in bed. After the night I had, I'd rather not run into anyone. I'm such an idiot.

"The strawberries are in the fridge by the way," my father said almost scaring me half to death. He sips coffee out of his mug and tucks a newspaper under his arm.

"Um.. thanks," I mumble while steadying my breathing. He still remembers my abnormal love of strawberries. There he goes again with his hesitant hovering like I'm a ticking bomb about to blow. Is he just going to stand there? His forehead scrunches and I can almost hear him formulating his thoughts. I awkwardly turn to open the fridge.

"Last night.. it must have been a lot for you."

"It was fine," I answer. That was a damn lie but what else am I supposed to say. Congrats on your new family?

He opens his mouth to reply but is interrupted by Sasha who waddled into the kitchen. Thank god, because I can't stand the sad look he's giving me. Emma happily bounces down the stairs after her morning. How are they so cheerful this early?

"Good morning, dad!"

"Morning, baby girl."

"Good morning loves," Sasha smiles brightly and all I can do is give her an awkward nod. She reaches up to kiss James and that is my cue to get the fuck outta there. "Beyoncé, sweetheart why don't you join us for breakfast?"

Fuck.

"I-I'm not really hungry," I stutter. The sudden onset of stares is making my palms sweat.

"Oh come on, just come sit with us. It's our first meal as a family!" Emma exclaims enthusiastically. I try not to cringe at the word "family".

Ugh, I hate people.

And that's how I end up being dragged to the table with everyone for the first time, silently chewing on the berries while staring into space. I am shaken out of my thoughts when Lucas and Michael trotted into the kitchen. My body tenses as I can feel Michael's obvious gaze.

"Why don't you stay for breakfast, Michael?" James says.

He pauses to meet my eyes, "I um... I probably should get going. I don't want to intrude."

"Oh, please have a seat," James dismisses with the wave of his hand. Michael sits across from me and mouths 'I'm sorry'.

"It was just yesterday you two were kids, running all over the place," James smiles fondly at the memory. I rub my sweaty palms against my grey sweat pants. My extremely casual outfit stuck out like a sore thumb compared to everyone else.

Lucas turns to Michael puzzled, "You knew Beyonce as a kid?"

"She was my best friend," he replies, looking directly at me. I immediately avert my gaze and try to swallow the sad lump in my throat.

"Was? What do you mean?" Emma chimes in seemingly unaware of the thick tension. I almost roll my eyes.

He clears his throat with an uneasy smile. "It's been a while."

"Really? That's surprising, Michael used to follow Beyonce around like a lost puppy. They were inseparable--" James stops himself when he senses the awkwardness between us.

"Look at you blushing.." Lucas teases and throws an arm around Michael.

"I'm not..." he clears his throat again and scratches the back of his neck.