OUR SIDE | a good omens x oc fan fic

THE BEGINNING

It was a nice day.

All the days had been nice. There had been rather more than seven of them so far, and rain hadn't been invented yet. But clouds massing east of Eden suggested that the first thunderstorm was on its way, and it was going to be a big one.

The angel of the Eastern Gate put his wings over his head to shield himself from the first drops.

"Well that went down like a lead balloon."

"I'm sorry," he said politely.
"What was it you were saying?"

"I said, "that one went down like a lead balloon," said the serpent.

"Oh. Yes," said the angel, whose name was Aziraphale.

"I think it was a bit of an overreaction, to be honest," said the serpent.
"I mean, first offence and everything. I can't see what's so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil, anyway."

"Yeah, I mean in the end, no one's truly good or evil. We're all just a mix and pick which side has control." Said a girl, as she appeared next to the snake.

"It must be bad," reasoned Aziraphale, in the slightly concerned tones of one who can't see it either, and is worrying about it,
"Otherwise, you two wouldn't have been involved."

"They just said," Get up there and make some trouble," said the serpent, whose name was Crawly, although he was thinking of changing it now. Crawly, he'd decided, was not him.

"Yes, but you two are demons. I'm not sure if it's actually possible for you to do good," said Aziraphale.
"It's down to your basic, you know, nature. Nothing personal, you understand."

"You've got to admit it's a bit of a pantomime, though," said Crawly.

"I mean, pointing out the Tree and saying 'Don't Touch' in big letters. Not very subtle, is it? I mean, why not put it on top of a high mountain or a long way off? Makes you wonder what He's really planning." Said the girl, her name was Cozbi.

"Best not to speculate, really," said Aziraphale.
"You can't second-guess ineffability, I always say. There's Right, and there's Wrong. If you do wrong when you're told to do right, you deserve to be punished. Er."

"You can, people have." Whispered Cozbi, she questioned gods plan on a daily basis.

They sat in embarrassed silence, watching the raindrops bruise the first flowers.

Eventually, Crawly said, "Didn't you have a flaming sword?"

Cozbi looked at Aziraphale expectantly.

"Er," said the angel. A guilty expression passed across his face, and then came back and camped there.

"You did, I remember. It was all, flaming." Said Cozbi.

"Er, well-"

"It looked very impressive, I thought." Said Crawly.

"Yes, but, well-"

"Lost it, have you?"
"Oh no! No, not exactly lost, more -"

"Well?" Aziraphale looked wretched. "If you must know," he said, a trifle testily, "I gave it away." Crawly stared up at him.

"You what?" He asked.

"I GAVE IT AWAY!" Said Aziraphale desperately.

"HA HAAA! 

"Well, I had to," said the angel, rubbing his hands distractedly.
"They looked so cold, poor things, and she's expecting already, and what with the vicious animals out there and the storm coming up I thought, well, where's the harm, so I just said, look, if you come back there's going to be an almighty row, but you might be needing this sword, so here it is, don't bother to thank me, just do everyone a big favor and don't let the sun go down on you here."

He gave the demons a worried grin.

"That was the best course, wasn't it?" Asked Aziraphale.

"I'm not sure it's actually possible for you to do evil," said Crawly sarcastically.

Aziraphale didn't notice the tone. "Oh, I do hope so," he said.
"I really do hope so. It's been worrying me all afternoon." They watched the rain for a while.

"Funny thing is," said Crawly,
"I keep wondering whether the apple thing wasn't the right thing to do, as well. A demon can get into real trouble, doing the right thing." He nudged the angel.
"Funny if we both got it wrong, eh? Funny if we did the good thing and you did the bad one, eh?"

"We may never know." Whispered Cozbi in Aziraphale's ear.

"Not really," said Aziraphale.

Crawly looked at the rain.

"No," he said, sobering up.
"I suppose not." Slate-black curtains tumbled over Eden. Thunder growled among the hills. The animals, freshly named, cowered from the storm. Far away, in the dripping woods, something bright and fiery flickered among the trees.
Aziraphale raised his white wing and sheltered the two demons from the down pour.

It was going to be a dark and stormy night.