Grape Juice (By the Border, #1) ✓

19

"Grape juice?"

"Akin na."

I took the drink Novah offered and, as our custom was, I clinked it with his. The plastic bottles created no sound, but the gesture made him chuckle.

We were at his hideout spot again, on top of a hill near forgotten graves. Mula sa kinaupuan namin at makikita buong Limerence sa ibaba. As flocks of birds soared the sky, Novah and I did nothing but watch as the scene before us played, and the people from the neighboring city went on with their lives, blissfully unaware of our existence.

He was the first to start the predictably long conversation. "Sorry about dropping that bomb on you last week."

"Hindi ko tatanggapin 'yang sorry mo."

"Um..." Kumunot ang noo niya.

"Walang rason para sabihin 'yon." I took a swig of my juice. "Nagsabi ka ng totoo. Nakaramdam na rin ako, pero bago ka umamin, nangangapa lang ako. All you did was give clarity. Nakumpirang tama ang hula ko dahil umamin ka."

"I didn't know I was that obvious."

"Hindi rin. Wala atang may alam sa school natin. Natago mo 'yon nang gan'on katagal," ani ko. "I just...cared, that's all."

"You cared," he repeated my statement, something he likely did to take less time to believe me. "That's..."

"Stupid?"

"No," mabilis niyang tugon at bahagyang natawa. "Gods, Wes, 'wag mong tawaging stupid 'yon. I was about to say that's the nicest thing I've heard today."

"'Di nga?" I pressed on, also chuckling.

Tumango si Novah at umurong palapit sa akin. "Oo nga." Keeping his tone light, he continued, but his words carried more weight than I first realized. "Lumala kasi kondisyon ko, kaya sobrang sama ng pakiramdam ko noong nakaraang linggo. Si Kenzie naman, ayaw akong iwan. She insisted on keeping me company. Hindi ko nga alam kung ba't nagpumilit siya kina Dad na alagaan ako, eh. She normally just goes to school without me. Hindi ako sigurado kung...ah, nevermind."

I didn't urge him to tell me more. Nandito ako para makinig, hindi para magdemanda. Siguro ay nahihirapan pa rin siya. Wala akong karapatang unahin ang sarili ko dahil lang gusto kong malaman ang lahat. Being here to listen was what I wanted to do when I agreed to keep him company.

I wanted to unravel my mental list of questions and fire away, but a bigger part of me wanted to know about what went on inside his head, and for him to share it on his own. Was it also filled with hundreds of unanswered things, like mine? Siguro oo, siguro hindi. Wala pang malinaw na sagot.

Maybe this was me caring again.

"Lymphoma," he muttered after silence had its share of our time.

I felt like I was woken up, pulled away by force from an already chaotic lucid dream. "A-Ano?"

"Mayro'n akong lymphoma," ulit ni Novah, boses ay mas malinaw ngunit mas nanghihina rin. "Got diagnosed last year. It never went away. Ang dami kong pinuntahang doktor noong nalaman ko, at sabi nilang lahat, malabo raw na malabanan ko pa," aniya at nagkibit-balikat pa—a gesture that people normally did when sharing stories that weren't like this. Stories about small, harmless incidents, not deaths and circumstances close to saving but never quite reaching it.

"Ang tagal ko nang gustong aminin sayo 'to. Magmula pa siguro noong in-acknowledge mo ang presensya ko, iniisip ko na kung paano ako magpapakatotoo sayo," dagdag niya pa. Another confession. "But I didn't want you to think that Kenzie and I wanted to be friends with you because I was desperate to form good relationships with people here before I go."