Grape Juice (By the Border, #1) ✓

25

He smiled brighter than the sun.

Sumakay kami ng tren na dumiretso sa Arden at bumaba sa Station 4 para bisitahin ang natatangi niyang hideout spot. Novah insisted on buying junk food and drinks, so we did that, too.

It was seven minutes past 4 P.M. when we reached the hilltop, and the first thing he did was collapse on the grass, a wide grin playing on his face when I followed.

"The view never gets old," kumento niya habang sabay kaming humanga sa senaryo ng Limerence sa kalayuan. It looked the same as before. Only the sky was different, so were the flocks of birds that flew past.

Inabot ko sa kaniya ang onion rings at nachos. "Anong okasyon?" tanong ko nang manahimik siya sa gilid ko.

"Walang okasyon, Wes." His smile was distant, like his hometown from up here. "This is unplanned."

A shiver ran down my spine. Unplanned. Who would've thought a single word could mean a thousand things? Going to Limerence was a lapse of judgment. Staying with Novah was an impulsive decision. His ending...

His ending was unplanned. Unwanted. Unwelcomed.

I wished to reject the thought, but there was no way for me to run away from it. Habangbuhay lang ako nitong hahabulin. I guess that would be unplanned, too.

"I wonder what you think of firsts," aniya nang maubos niya ang kinakain.

"Ba't mo natanong?"

Novah chuckled. "Just because."

I hummed lowly, unconsciously getting immersed in my thoughts. "Firsts? They're alright."

Ang una kong birthday na hindi ko na maalala. Ang unang taon ng highschool na magulo ang simula at mas magulong natapos. Ang una kong regalong natanggap kina Mama at Papa—isang notebook na may maliit na padlock at susi na hugis puso. Doon ko sinimulang isulat ang una kong mga liham na ayaw kong ipabasa sa kanila.

First train ride. First picnic. I remembered the first time I cried when I dropped my notebook to the sea, drenching the ink-filled pages.

"Will it be dumb to say I haven't had many firsts?" Novah asked.

I thought of it for a moment. "Hindi," tugon ko.

"Hindi?"

"I have no first love," I argued. "Or first heartbreak. Or first kiss."

Novah dropped his third bag of junk. "'Di nga? No first kiss?"

"Oo. Bakit, meron ka na?"

"Third grade." He smiled as he recalled the old memory. "Kalaro siya ni Kenzie noon. She kissed me in exchange for letting me use the swing on her playground."

"Her playground," ulit ko.

"Oo," kumpirma niya at natawa. "May sarili siyang playground sa labas ng bahay niya at gusto kong gamitin ang swing niya. She agreed to let me play in exchange for a kiss."

I didn't know why, but imagining a young Novah agreeing to something like that for a swing was amusing. Hindi ko mapigilang ngumisi sa naisip. "You're a charmer since middle school, then."

"Siyempre," mayabang niyang sagot. "Pero seryoso ba, Wes? No first kiss?"

"None."

"Honest?"

I gave him a sure nod. "Honest."

Walang halaga iyon sa akin. I wasn't the sentimental sort—like the ones who found meanings in every circumstance they encountered in life. They'd pass, losing their purpose and value in the process. Noon palang ay iyon na ang pinaniwalaan ko, kaya hindi ko naisip ang first kisses, first loves, o first heartbreaks. They were nothing but events I could never rewind to experience again.

"Pa'no kung ngayon..." mahina niyang sambit, ngunit hindi ko ito nahuli.

"Anong ngayon?"

"Ang first kiss mo," kaswal niyang saad. "Do you wanna have it right now?"

Hindi ko siya sinagot. Para mapuno ang katahimikan ay nagsalita muli si Novah. "I mean, your first should be from a charmer, just saying," biro niya, at muntik na akong matawa kung hindi ko lang napigilan ang sarili. "Your first kiss should be a good memory. I couldn't remember mine very vividly, but I know it was alright. It was nice. Gusto kong gan'on din ang sayo."

"At may gusto ka kasi sa 'kin," dagdag ko.

It caught him off-guard, but Novah laughed. "That, too."

He might be wishing to say something more—an attempt to say nevermind the offer, maybe, or a request to forget about what he said—but I could care less. Resting my hands on his shoulder, I leaned in, pulled him closer, and touched his lips with mine.

Saglit lang itong nangyari, wala pang tatlong segundo ang nakalipas ay nauna akong lumayo. Wala akong alam sa tamang paraan ng paghalik, kaya dumapo lamang ang labi ko sa kaniya. I was shit at any form of physical intimacy. Still, my heart threatened to leap out of my chest.

The kiss didn't dare leave my mind, even after we went back to the train on the way to our next destination. Tulog at nakasandal si Novah sa akin, hawak ang aking kamay. Beads of sweat formed on his neck and forehead, but his breaths were even. My eyes were trained on him until the train came to a halt at station 25.

Ngunit mas mabagal na ang kaniyang paglakad ngayon, at kahit ilang ulit kong pisilin ang kaniyang mga kamay upang sabihing ayos lang ang lahat, nagwagi ang katotohanan.

We wouldn't reach the border on time.

"'Wag na tayong maglakad, pwede na rito. Maganda naman ang langit," ani ko nang dumiretso siya sa pinakamalapit na mauupuan. The waiting shed's metal benches waited three feet away from the edge, and it was the perfect spot to behold the golden hour. I inhaled the fresh air that drifted away from the sea, and I watched the sky change by the minute, bursting with oranges and violets. I imagined this moment, thoroughly painted by an unseen hand, was Novah's reward for making it this far. Gumaan ang aking loob sa naisip.

His eyes were more mesmerizing than the sunset.

"Wes."

"Oh?"

"Pwede bang...pwede bang matulog muna ako saglit? Pagod na ako."

Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. "Ayaw mo bang hintaying lumubog ang araw bago ka umidlip?"

He shook his head, moving closer this time and resting his head on my shoulder. "Matutulog muna ako," nakangiti niyang saad. "Wake me up when the train arrives."

Right. This was okay. We'd be okay. "I will."

"Salamat."

Marahan kong pinisil ang kaniyang kamay sa huling pagkakataon. "Rest now. I got you."

I stayed there, my hand squeezing his as I watched the sky alone.