Here in this labyrinth (I'm trapped)

Part 1

WARNINGS:
Transphobia
Being outed
Homophobia
F-slur
Dysphoria
Misgendering
Deadnaming
Stress
Cussing

Kyle's eyes flutter open to the sound of his alarm blaring, quickly turning his phone on to turn off the annoying "the apocalypse is coming" noise. He took a sip from the water bottle on his night stand, and rolled out of bed. He grabbed his binder, a shirt and pants, and quickly changed. He grabbed his brush and walked to the bathroom, brushing his messy and big hair while looking in the mirror. He judges every miniscule part of his face, before setting the brush down on the sink, and grabbing his green trapper hat to place it on his head. He heads back to his room. He grabs his socks and shoes, and heads downstairs. He makes some toast and grabs orange juice from the fridge. He eats as he scrolls through his phone, sitting alone at the table since his parents had already gone to work. Ike is already at school, because his parents dropped him off before work. Kyle grabs his backpack, and trudges out the front door.

The school day is as average as ever, Cartman being an asshole, Kyle trying to deny his feelings for a certain boy, Kenny being dirty minded and unpredictable, and Stan being straight up oblivious. Cartman was especially being an asshole today, though. He kept pointing out Kyles insecurities. Every. Single. One.

Kyle quickly walks back home after school, and goes straight to his room. He opens up his Diary, and starts to write. He writes about how scared he is to be trans, because of all these laws being passed in other states in the country. He also writes about how insecure Cartman is making him, but he can't tell him. "I just wish he wouldn't point out my girly features so much. Like, okay, I'm shorter than him, I have big eyes, I have soft features, big hair, literally no one cares." Kyle sighs, finishes his vent, and shoves his diary in his backpack. He realizes its been 8 hours, so he changes out of his binder and puts on a sweatshirt. He has dinner with his family, trying to avoid conversation as he spirals down the rabbit hole of his thoughts. He goes to brush his teeth, and finally gets into bed.

The next morning Kyle wakes up, he realizes it's Friday. Friday tends to usually be the best day, because everyone is excited for the weekend. He does his normal morning routine, and heads out the door. He meets Stan, Kenny, and Cartman at the bus stop.
"Hey Kyle." Stan says, turning to the mentioned boy. "Good morning." Kyle smiles softly. "You're in a good mood. That's not like the Kyle I know." Cartman says. Kyle eyerolls.
Shortly, the bus arrives and they all pile in their seats. Kenny and Kyle next to eachother, and Cartman and Stan seated behind. Kenny, Cartman, and Stan talk as Kyle stares out the window, joining the conversation to correct Cartman on something he stupidly said. Even though Kyle was excited for the weekend, he knew today was still going to be average, even though it's his favorite day of the week.

The bus arrives, and everyone exits, heading to the entrance of school. "-it's literally been, like, a year since that happened." Kyle zones back in. to Cartman say. "That was Wednesday, fatass." Kyle corrects. "Same thing." Cartman eyerolls, as the group walks down the hallway. "Kyle, why have you been such an assh*le to me lately?" Cartman says, sounding more serious than before. "Wh- *I've* been an assh*le?!" Kyle exclaims, opening his locker quickly and angrily. Cartman leans on the locker next to his, as Kenny and Stan talk at their lockers on the other side of the hall. "You've been acting all gay and sh*t lately, too." Cartman says. "What the f*ck are you talking about." Kyle says, shoving his backpack in his locker, and grabbing the things he needs for the upcoming class. "You know. I see the way you look at Stan." Cartman smirks. Kyle looks at Cartman, eyes filled with rage and anxiety. "You shut your f*cking mouth." Kyle whispers. "Haha! I knew it! You're a f*g." Kyle feels his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach. "What did you just call me?" Kyle asks, slamming his locker and looking at Cartman. "Jesus, Cartman. We're not in 4th grade anymore, We're 14! You can't just say that sh*t and expect no one to get hurt by it anymore." Cartman scoffs. "I can say whatever the fuck I want." Cartman eyerolls. Kyle uses every muscle in his body not to punch Cartman then and there. Instead of risking a suspension, he stomps his way to his first class, History.

Kyle doesn't mind history
class, it's not his favorite, and it can be quite boring sometimes, but he doesn't hate it. As the minutes of the class tick by, he still feels angry about the whole Cartman situation. Cartman's voice calling him that word, not just a word, that *slur*, echoes in his mind.

Finally, class ends and there's a short break in between, so Kyle uses his time by bringing his Diary into a bathroom stall with him to vent about what happened.

"Dear Diary,

sh*t. Why do I still write "Dear Diary" like I'm 9? Whatever. Anyways, Cartman was being a total asshole again. The first class of the day hadn't even started yet, and he called me a f*g. A f*cking f*g. He really shouldn't care if I'm gay or not. He said he knows I like Stan, which made my blood immediately run cold. He really shouldn't care if I like Stan or not, either. Cartman just loves sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. And I thought today was going to be a great day, too."

Kyle finishes writing, and shoves his pencil in his pocket. He uses the restroom and then exits the stall. He places his Diary on the sink, and washes his hands. He grabs a paper towel to dry his hands, throws it away, and leaves the bathroom. He walks to his locker to gather things from his backpack for his next class.
___________
Cartman opens the door to the bathroom, going into a stall to have a quick snack during the break. He finishes eating, throws his chip bag in the trash, and notices a blue notebook sitting on the sink. Being his nosey self, he decides to look in it, expecting Math notes. What he found was much greater to him than math notes. He found gold. Cartman flips through the pages of the book, feeling adrenaline course through him at the thought of blackmail or assh*lery he could do with this information. "Being Trans? Feeling insecure? Dysphoria? Periods? Having a crush on Stan? Being gay?Oh my god. I can't believe it." Cartman thinks, feeling on top of the world. "I can't believe Kyle is really a girl! I finally have proof!"

"Guys! Guys!" Cartman yells, running down the hallway with the book in his hand. "What the hell is up with you today?" Kenny asks, muffled by his jacket. "Shut up, Kenny. Look, I found Kyle's diary." Cartman says, a grin spreading on his face. "Mhm, okay." Stan says, eyerolling. "Fine! Don't believe me. I guess he never really said, and I quote, 'I wish Stan could like someone like me back'." "It says tha-" "Shut up, guys." Kenny interrupts. "That's seriously f*cked up. That's his personal sh*t." "You're right." Stan says, trying to grab Kyle's diary away from Cartman. Kenny joins in too. "Fine. Take it." Cartman says, giving it to the two boys. "I already took pictures of everything, anyways." Cartman thinks to himself, smirking as he walked away.
____________
"Where the f*ck is it?! C'mon, where is it?!" Kyle thinks, going through his backpack. Kyle already checked the bathroom for his diary, and it wasn't in there. "Hey, Kyle." Stan says, "I think this is yours." Kyle looks up and sees Stan holding his diary, Kenny standing next to him. "Thank you so much, Stan!" Kyle exclaims, hugging Stan tightly as Stan blushes. "And me." Kenny eyerolls. "Yes, thank you too, Kenny." Kyle says, hugging Kenny too. As Kyle puts his diary into his bag a scared look appears on his face. "You didn't read it, right?" Kyle asks the both of them. Stan and Kenny shake their heads. Kenny and Stan so stupidly decided not to tell Kyle that Cartman read it, but they had no idea the secret at stake, and the fact that Cartman had proof.