Mr. Popular and Me

Chapter 32

Evan's POV

Somehow, I feel like I hate the world more now than I did before. At least before I hadn't felt this betrayed and hurt. Except for my mom.

But now, I feel like there wasn't anyone I could trust. Not even my dad who I thought was the only person I could trust since I was seven.

Samantha has been messaging me and trying to talk to me at school, but I refuse to respond. I know she never really did anything to me, but right now, I just can't take another heartache.

Luckily I haven't seen Waeland at school the past few days, so I guess that's a plus. But Garret still hasn't gotten the hint to stay off my ass. For some reason though, it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I guess it's because the last few days I have been feeling in kind of a limbo mood. Like everything is passing by in a blur and I'm not even fully there.

Maybe because mentally, I'm not. I'm too busy lost in my own world. Even though I ended things with Waeland, I keep having these daydreams that we were still together an everything was fine. He was open about our relationship and didn't care what anyone else thought. But that obviously isn't reality. Waeland is just like every other dick head at this school. I should have known with him being Mr. Popular and all. I guess I just wanted to believe he could be different, that maybe I could live a fantasy even though I've been trying to avoid anything like that for years. Of course, though, I was wrong. Real life just doesn't work that way.

"Mr. Beck, class is over, you can go now," The teacher said as I finally looked at my surroundings, noticing that the class was now empty. I hadn't noticed that the bell had rung.

"Right... I'm leaving now," I said as I stood up to leave while grabbing my books.

"Is something bothering you? You seem to have been in your own head the past couple days. You know, if you need someone to talk to, there is a counselor. Or even me if you want to," Mr. Dawson said to me and I just shook my head.

"I've just been thinking a lot, thanks for the concern," I said as I turned and started to walk away.

"Evan, I'm serious. Sometimes the best way to feel better about something is to talk about it. If you don't want to talk to me, talk to someone you trust then," He said with concern clear in his voice. For a moment I considered what he said, but then I realized, I don't trust anyone. Not even myself.

--

Empty.

That's the only way I could describe the way I felt. My dad always said he felt empty after my mom left, and I always thought I felt empty, too. Until now.

I couldn't shake off the feeling of guilt I now had from not being there for my dad more. Even he had lied, he was still going through a lot, and I always brushed him away. And now, I'm doing it again.

Mr. Dawson's words stuck in my head all weekend. I thought about talking to my dad several times, but he also seems like he needs space. I don't even remember seeing him at the house since Friday.

My thoughts of Waeland have slowly started to dwindle. It's not that I don't care anymore, I really do. It's just the thought of him makes my heart ache and my stomach twist in ways I don't think it should be. So I guess my mind is just trying to protect me by not letting me think about him as much.

But thoughts of him still slip anyway.

Sighing, I stood up and walked to my window. Looking outside to see that spring has definitely settled in. Everything is green and colorful and-

Why the hell is Jonah in my yard?

The tall figure, known as Waeland's "friend", was leaning against a tree in my yard, looking up at my window.