just a girl ⇢ cillian murphy

three.

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[a/n: i promise that it won't be sad the whole book, just need to clear some things up and get things out of the way :)]

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emma walked to her front door to see who it was, but anna had gotten to it first. she spotted him when she got to the last step. her breathed hitched, seeing tom all dressed up and looked as if he was going to some sort of party. it took everything in her power not to go over and hug him, or kiss him. she didn't care which. "hi." she said, and he smiled. "hi darling." the twang of his voice hit her heart once more. she didn't know this but after she broke up with him for the final time, he had realized how wrong he was and how he messed up. and if he ever got the opportunity to apologize and have a conversation, he wouldn't pass it up. "come." she waved him as she moved towards a private and smaller living room, away from her sisters. she walked in waiting for him to pass, and she shut the door behind them. she crossed her arms over her chest, and looked at him in the eye. "how can i help you?" she questioned softly, fearing that if she spoke louder she would start crying. tom could sense it. "i came here to...to apologize emma ruth. guilt has ridden me the past two years and i have lived with that regret, knowing i deserved all of it. i hurt you over and over again, all the in between and i just want..want you to know that I'm deeply sorry from the very bottom of my heart. you deserved nothing, nothing at all. and i hope that one day we can be friends, because i will always love you and wish the best for you. " he said and she lost it. she silently sobbed into her hand. tom quickly came over and wrapped his arms around her, "I've wai-waited so long to hear that from you." she said crying and tom nodded, holding her tightly. different than the way cillian had held her. she embraced tom, looking up at him. "these past two years have been absolute hell, hell without you. and I'm not here to get you back but to apologize for how i behaved all those years." he added, in a soft voice. almost whisper. she smiled softly, allowing more tears to fall. he caught all of them. "and i know you're with cillian-" she cut him off, "no. no I'm not. not really." she said confusing him. "were um were in pr relationship. but i want to payout. i don't think i can pretend to be with somebody that could give two shits about me. who decides to treat me like shit after we had a nice meeting. who's cold and standoffish that calls me a brat without calling me a brat." and tom realized she was now rambling, and that it was an anxiety attack. "hey hey hey. don't think about that right now." he said pulling her into his chest, kissing her head, and rubbed her back. she began having anxiety attacks summer of 2019 when her parents had been going through a hard time, despite playing it off like it was nothing to the family and media. her mom had some suspicions.

her breathing picked up as she cried more and more. he could feel her heart shattering as she sobbed. for more reasons than one. she mimicked his breathing, feeling calmer after about 8 minutes. she hated things being out of place or sorts, and in turn, everything comes crashing down. everything had to be perfect, though life didn't work like that. she had missed being in his arms though, ones that held her at the most trying and most loving moments. "I've missed you." she said softly, before looking up at him. he had a look of question on his face, "yes. I've missed you." she said louder and with a smile. he smiled widely too. "if you and cillian are in a pr relationship, does that mean you aren't really together?" he questioned and she thought about it. they had never had the conversation about being exclusive, even though they were fake. "yes, that means we can see each other." she hummed, and he connected their lips. knowing that's exactly what he was getting at.

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tom didn't make it to the party, his agent not knowing why. tom gave him a bullshit excuse, though really we all know where he was. he spent the evening at emma's and spent time with her two sisters who were spending the night. they already had begun making their homemade pizza's and then ordered froyo but then decided at 11 that they were going to bake banana bread. tom went with it all, spending quality time with the people he'd been close to at one point. he looked at anna and bella as the little sisters he never had and had that feeling of watching out for them, rise again. anna and bella hadn't seen their older sister so happy in a long while, it brought them back to 2019 before everything started to go to shit. they had always adored tom and his british accent. they both hoped that he'd outlast cillian and that, he wouldn't leave before the contract ended. their family didn't need that. most importantly, emma did not. emma got a text from cillian when they began to bake but she immediately dismissed it and tom and her spent some quiet time on the couch before heading up for the evening. not without ofcourse, having some banana bread. truth be told, emma had mistakenly kept some of tom's clothes, not realizing until she moved in. in which case, tom had clothes that fit like a glove. the two got ready for the evening quickly and hopped into bed holding onto one another as if, they'd lose each other in the morning. emma faced tom, looking up at him. "please tell me you want this...i cannot deal with another heartbreak on top of my father. i don't think my mental health could bear it." she said and he grew curious. "have you..have you not spoken to anybody that can diagnosis you?" he questioned, and she looked away giving him the full answer. she begun having anxiety attacks in 2019 when things were out of place, and especially over things she could not change or control. so she got a therapist, but she never got diagnosed. she was too scared too. "emma.." he said just her first name to show seriousness, and she sighed. "i know now that I'm back home for a bit, i can do it. i promise." she said and tom believed her. he smiled kissing her forehead, "god i can't believe i have the emma ruth in my arms again." he whispered in third person and she giggled while getting closer to him. the upper british accent twang, awakening her butterflies and heart once more.

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hope you all enjoyed !!!!