Chapter 19: FMC

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Something deep within me begins to settle.

Leon and I hold hands as we walk through the castle's exterior, our thumbs tapping playfully against each other. We haven't seen any more of those repulsive insects since our escape from the ballroom, and very few zealots have crossed our path. I consider it a small mercy, especially after the shitstorm that was our escape.

The gauze weighs heavily wrapped around my leg, a constant reminder that I almost didn't escape. But the pain is dull now, a tender sting instead of the incessant blazing of tissue damage. I've seen acid burns before, learned enough about them in school to know how they scar, especially if left untended. I don't know how long it'll be before we're rescued, but I'd rather my father's men find me full of cuts and bruises than a lifeless body.

Time truly has no meaning to me anymore. I'm way past sleep exhaustion. But even with my new wound and this fresh pain, I feel a sense of lightness in my bones, the slight settling of my nerves at telling Leon the full truth of my past. I've wanted to ever since I saw him—but I figured maybe I was just another lost face, another nameless body among the countless others he saw that night, thought maybe it wasn't worth bringing up.

I sneak a glance at him and find he's staring ahead, his steel eyes fixed on our surroundings, flicking from one shadowed corner to the next. He's always on guard—from the stiffness of his shoulders, the hard angle of his jaw as he moves on steady feet—it's almost like he can't relax. Who he is now, this stormy, methodical man is the antithesis of that eager, bubbly boy he was at twenty-one. Even in our brief encounter, I can tell how much he's changed since that night; it hurts to see how these years have dimmed his spirit to nothing more than an ember when he was once an inferno.

"You said your mother's family—they lived in Raccoon City?" Leon says, ending our comfortable silence. He must be stewing in the past with me.

"Yeah, my aunt and uncle," I say, voice raw. "They moved there just after having their second kid. Both found high-paying jobs working for Umbrella."

Leon waits for me to say more. "I'm not entirely sure what their positions were, it was all confidential. Luckily they weren't working the day everything went to shit."

"And they all survived?" he says.

I nod. "We all made it out thanks to my dad." A chill bites down on my skin, even through Leon's jacket. "But it wasn't really a happy ending. We were all left haunted, unable to speak about it with anyone. We weren't allowed to seek help...not even when the trauma threatened to break us...as I'm sure you understand."

He nods. "It's not easy living with those memories," Leon says. "Sometimes, we need to resolve our suffering before it gets worse. But sometimes, it's best to try to forget and move on."

I meet his eyes and notice the pain there, emphasizing his words. Leon was never allowed help, either. Like me, he was likely expected to move on, efface that incident from our psyche.

"It's hard to make sense of everything," I start. "In Raccoon City and here." Somewhere in the dark, crickets chirp, and I think of all the death in Valdelobos, how this virus consumes endlessly. Soon there will be no life left, no humanity. A bone-deep dread rattles through me at the image that presents itself: Leon and I, consumed by a black plague, puppets of this cult. I clear it away before it shrouds my thoughts. "I can't imagine how it is for you. You're forced to relive Raccoon City with every mission."

Leon tenses, his fingers twitching around mine. "It's not as bad as you think." His tone remains light, but I can hear the strain in his voice. "Life is...easier when I'm on mission. I don't have time to linger on the past."

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