i like this song and am currently suffering from bowel complications. uh, enjoy.
((( lowercase intended k cool )))
luke sat, his arms crossed on top of the school desk. he was sick of this. he was ready for summer, and it was only the second day back. he watched the people around him, taking notes with thick pen strokes and a pain shot through his head.
it doesn't matter, luke. quit it. you can catch up tomorrow. you've only missed two days of lessons. the second this class ends you can go home. er- scratch that. you can go to walmart and buy seven notebooks for tomorrow, because holy shit, you're so behind. and then... oh. how on earth are you going to afford these notebooks, exactly? work doesn't start until tomorrow night. fuck, luke.
he didn't exactly start the year strong, considering his mother passed over the summer and his dad was long gone at some whores house in california. it was just luke and his sister now. she was twenty two and luke would be eighteen in a month, so they were clear from governments way. too bad though, because if luke was any younger, he'd get a support check every month and maybe he wouldn't be so sad and stressed all the time. maybe he'd even be able to afford a notebook and a binder for class.
to luke, school was the only way he'd ever grasp a good life. if he didn't do well, topping his class and sliding through with high a's, he'd be done. his sister had a boyfriend who was surely going to propose, and soon enough, if luke didn't get some sort of scholarship to a damn good school, he'd be all alone.
that night, he managed to scrounge up old assignments that had extra space on the backs, a bunch of last blank pages from his books, and a pencil as tall as his pinkie to carry into school the next day. not what he'd like, but the best he's got.
"lukely, james brought over some pasta. it'll be good for us. not fast food." his sister entered his room, noticing the pile of scraps and frowning at the boy on the bed. "come on, sweetheart. let's get our minds off this shit."
"can you give me a sec, sadie?" luke asked, still not looking up at her face, but examining the quilt he was laid out on.
"sure babe, i'll put a napkin over yours. keep it warm." she sighed, walking out of the room, leaving luke with his sad mind.
luke stared, his eyes watering as he reexamined his pile. he was so hopeless. hed be homeless the second he graduates, and hed be so alone. hed reject sadie begging him to stay over a few nights, or at least until he can get a stable job. but he faces it, because she and james would probably have a family in the making, and he can't step in on that. i mean, whatever. hed probably be happier in a street, begging for money, than hed be at any sit down office job he could possibly claim as his own, but he longed for a day, laying in his apartment with all the lights off. his records would be on and hed be laying on the couch, cuddled up with a boy he was going to love forever. too bad, though. screw happiness. its moneys' fault.
he decided it was about time to get downstairs, and he was feeling quite hungry. he walked into the small kitchen at sat at the counter his sister and boyfriend where currently making out upon. he grabbed for his food, eating quickly and sucking the noodles up through his lips. his head felt clouded, and it was as if he didn't care a wink if sadie was getting mouth raped infront of him, because he was seeing in tunnels and his brain just couldn't think.
"luke?" he heard james call, pulling away from sadie and looking toward the boy. "your... your hair." he sounded shocked, but luke didn't move. not even when sadie came over and pulled out a clump.
"luke, its all falling out." she whispered, holing a ball of tangled blonde strands, letting them crumble into her palm.
luke just closed his eyes, his eyelashes fluttering as his hands began to tremble. he reached out, grabbing onto sadie's shoulder, falling to the ground with a strong thud. james dove forward, and sadie screamed, dropping to her knees and lifting up his back.
"lukey, sweetheart." her voice was shaking, her eyes wide.
lukes own eyes began to water, and he shook his head in the four arms.
"im just so tired, sadie. im so tired."
