Twisted Guitarists

Chapter 4

Paul's pov:

I did it... I'm going to see Richard. I'm going together with Schneider, Flake, and Olli to New York for a week, from 20 to 27 june. I'm so excited but scared at the same time. What if he doesn't like the suprise.... I hope he will like it... Anyway, I'm happy that i will see him, I've missed him so much, and I really need to talk with him.
The last 2 months without Reesh have been like an emotional roller-coaster. Since the band doesn't meet up as frequently as before, I've had a lot of time with myself and my own thoughts. I don't know if I really have feelings for him or if I just really miss him. Everything is scrambled in my head. Before he left, I didn't feel like this. I mean, I always loved him, but as a friend. I never thought it could be more than that. I really need to talk to him about this whole thing... I don't even know how to tell him. "Richard, I love you, be my lover!"... yeah, right... I don't know what to do.  I don't even know if I like him in that way. It's all soo fucking confusing.

* A few days later *

Paul's pov:

Today, I'm going to New York. I'm soo excited, but at the same time soo scared... I hope he will like my suprise. I got him a guitar strap in his favorit colors, red and black, and a really cool leather jacket. The jacket has like a hidden pocket on the inside, and i was thinking of writing him a note and put it there. These few days, i have been thinking a lot about how i feel and stuff... I still dont know for sure, but i guess I'll never fully know unless i try to be together with Reesh or something... I dont know... I just hope that if i tell him about this whole thing, he will see me as the same Paul that has been his best friend for over 10 years... Anyway, I have to hurry up to the airport, Flake is spamming my phone with calls and messages

Richard's pov:

*It's around 9 pm*
I can't sleep at night. My brain is everywhere and nowhere. This weekend is gonna be my birthday, and i will finally have some free time. I love the night, but i hate it at the same time. It's so quiet. that's why i love it and hate it. During the day I'm with Emigrate and with notebooks in front of me, and during the night, it's just me with my thoughts. Endless thoughts that are eating at me, well, not all. Recently, i have been thinking a lot about Paul. I really miss him... but it's not just that i miss him. Sometimes, i get these weird thoughts that the night would be better if he was in my bed cuddling with me... It's really weird, but it's true. Wait, what... What am i saying? life would be better if Paul was in my bed... i... what... i think im going crazy, Paul is my best friend. Why would he cuddle with me... i mean, it happened once, but we were drunk and lonely... Anyway.. *the doorbell rings* Who could it be?... I open the door and see a so dear and familiar bowl cut and a big smile, so big and bright it light up my whole apartment.
"Paul!!" I hug him tightly.
"Hey, Reesh! I hope you are not mad i came here to see you.".
I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe he is here. What!? "Not at all. I'm so happy to see you!!".
"Okey, good, cause Flake, Schneider, and Olli also came, but they didn't bother to come see you so late in the night."
"But you came?"
"Yes! I wanted to see you. I missed you so much." Then Paul hugged me again.
"Come in, Paulie." he came in, and i led him to the living room, where he made himself comfortable on the couch. i sit beside him. "So, with what occasion here in New York?".
"Your birthday is in like 4 days. Did you really think that i wouldn't come to see you? Plus, i missed you a lot, and i need to talk to you about something."
"Hmm, okay, spill it." I look at him, i always loved his eyes, soo blue and full of innocence, though i know he isn't as innocent as he looks like...
"Umm, well, i dont know how to say it..."
I could see how his beautiful, inocent eyes filled with anxiety and hesitation."It's okay, take your time. You dont have to tell me if you don't want to."
"No, i want to tell you, its just a bit hard, cause i dont know exactly what it is... and this whole thing makes me feel stupid... Umm, so... i have been, umm, missing you?"
"ive been missing you too, Paul." i try to comfort him.
"It's more than just missing you... I dont know exactly what it is cause i have never felt this way before..."
"Hmm, can you describe what this feeling feels like?"
"Sure, mister therapist."
he laughs, i love it when he laughs
"Umm, when you came here, it was like everything was lonely and uncomfortable. And, uhh, i keep having these weird thoughts..."
"What thoughts?"

Paul's pov:

Oh, shit... I didnt mean to say that. Oh no... I didnt plan to tell him about the thoughts. Umm, okey, now what? what do i say...
"Umm... okey, Reesh, serious... Promise me to not laugh and to look the same at me as before..."
"Okey, what's up, Paulie?"
"I think i..." My voice is so shaky, i can't think straight. Words barely come out, so i whisper. "I like you... I think... i dont know..." i look down, embarrassed.
"What... Wait... what"
Oh god... i want to bury myself underground...
"Paul, look at me."
He cups my face with his hands, making me look him in the eyes.
"Look, it's okay. I've had weird thoughts, too, and I've been extremely lonely too."
He hugs me tight, like he didn't want to ever let me go. it felt so good, his strong arms holding me tight. i finally felt safe again.
"Reesh? weird thoughts like mine? do you..."
"Like you? i think, i do..."
I pull away from the hug and look at him as a small wave of relief comes over me. "You like me, like in like like me?"
"Yes, Paulie." he smiles, a big smile. I can't believe it, he likes me?!?! he fucking likes me!!! holy shit...

!Author's note!
i hope you liked it:)
i wanted to apologize for the first 3 chapters, that they were really short  but since this is the first fanfict that i write, its a bit hard for me to make the chapters long
i tried to make this one longer:)